Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us.

That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.

Three decades ago today, Mark David Chapman shot and killed John Lennon in an attempt to actualize the wishes of Holden Caulfield. Thereon, December 8th became a somber day for anyone who appreciates music and hates shitty literary interpretations.

Unfortunately, this day became even more ominous six years ago as Dimebag Darrell was murdered onstage by a crazed fan. Slinging the axe for Pantera, Dimebag helped craft a brand of metal that held complete domination over the 1990s. While long-heralded heavy metal gods began experimenting with blues-riffs and mascara, Pantera maintained their dedication to savage thrashin’ and soulful groovin’. In fact,   they only became more aggressive – which is ridiculous, considering that they kicked off the decade with Cowboys from Hell.

What strikes me most about Dimebag’s playing is the originality and conviction. There is no mistaking a Dimebag Darrell riff, whether it’s one of the machine-gun facsimiles that punches you in the gut or one of the chunky stutter-steps that greets you at the party and convinces you to funnel a beer. His six-string prowess was, in a word, jaw-dropping.

Hit the jump to check out some of my favorite Dimebag moments.

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Welcome back to the Cage Match, Omega Level’s weekly column on the actor who owes $6 million in taxes and is somehow not in prison: Nicolas Cage. Anticipation for the grossly delayed Season of the Witch is building and as we draw closer to its January release date a slew of new stills and BTS pics have been released. There’s even a new clip featuring lots of CGI wolves! Speaking of those taxes, our man is getting in even more legal trouble in L.A. We’ll take a look at those court documents as well as ALL of Cage’s homes – all 15 of them! James Franco – who Cage directed in Sonny – appeared on Inside the Actor’s Studio and had some (homo) juice on Cage. Oh, and, Cage’s brother Christopher has been taken on a terrible “alias.” More on that later. Now, what about those wolves?

Mo’ Swords, Mo’ Wolves

It looks like Season of the Witch (January 7, 2011) will be light on Cage insanity we all love but will be entertaining overall. IMDB has an exclusive clip (which is un-embeddable) that has some cheesy looking CGI wolves attacking the carriage escorting the witch. I think. The brains at IMDB have entitled the clip “Wolves.” Nice one, guys.

On the hunt for more Witch? The folks at FearNet have a gallery of over 40 stills and behind the scenes photos. It looks like Dominic Sena and his crew got the Medieval vibe down!

Poor, Poor Nic Cage

Yesterday, Cage pleaded before the court in L.A., asking that his “high powered” business managers be banned from speaking with Nevada State Bank. NSB is suing Cage over a house he once owned in Nevada that went into foreclosure. He owes them around $2.5 million. His business managers are being asked by NSB to appear before a deposition early next month. Cage addressed the L.A. court, stating his “private financial and business records, confidential tax returns, confidential communications with tax authorities and documents” should be protected by attorney-client privilege. (via Radar)

I’m just a simple boy from small-town New Jersey, so the world of high powered L.A. lawyers is like Narnia to me. Not to play obsessed super-fan, but I imagine they make Cage miserable. He’s more concerned with family, comic books, and being the man (see picture above) than with legal BS. Keep your head up, tiger!

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[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

::click::

“OH MY GAWD, IT WAS HIM!”

“Who?”

“Daryl Millar, the good-looking guy I met at work today.”

“At Game World? Damn, Vanessa, you must be desperate.”

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Welcome to the Christmas Creep, you swine! It’s Omega Sinema’s celebration of the absolute worst in Christmas specials. I found some doozies to share with ya’ll, from childhood icons, to icons we’d rather forget, to utter shit from New Zealand that made me want to convert to Judaism so I would never even be put in the position of watching it again.

I decided to kick things off with probably the worst of the bunch. Get it over with, you know? Like tearing the duct tape off your girlfriend’s mouth following a night of passion. Right? Anyways, it’s pizza time in Hell: Christmas With the Turtles (1994).

Back in the day, us TMNT fans were loyal and the Turtle obsession teetered on the edge of religious obsession. We generally ignored the blatant ripoffs like Biker Mice From Mars and Street Sharks but always shelled out our allowance earnings for retarded figures like “Farmer Don.” We were forgiving of the third movie. We kept it green and we kept it in the sewer. What then, I ask, did we do to deserve this kick to the nuts? I love the Turtles and I love Christmas but fuck this:

…what. The hell. Was that? Why do they all talk like goodfellas but sing with a fake patois? And why won’t they stop smiling? They all look atrophied – like a bunch of green Amy Winehouses, which I think is the plural of Winehouse. God, I could go on and on nitpicking about the horrible production, but lemme tell you about the racy and thought-provoking plot for a minute.

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The second to last episode of a Dexter season seems to always be the most exciting. It’s when all the feces strike the fan accordingly, sending a flurry of corn-covered shit out into every facet of Dexter’s life. Last night’s episode was no different. And goddamn, did I love it. It set up the final episode, which could be titled every season: Dexter! How The Fuck Do You Fix This?

At one point last night I realized what should have been obvious: this season of Dexter is the best sociopathic rendition of a Shakespearean tragedy on television. Though to call a Shakespearean tragedy “sociopathic” may in fact be redundant.

All The World’s A Body bag!

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Welcome aboard Omega-Level — the world’s most feared nerdcore pirate ship! We’re currently raiding the Pop Culture Seas! To stomach these turbulent waters, it’s advisable to consume caffeine and discuss the nonsense that your coworkers/family members/probation officers just don’t get. That’s why we’re here.

ALL HANDS ON DECK! Announcements are underway!

PATRICK COOPER
Astute passengers of Omega-Level have no doubt noticed that there is a third contributor amongst our ranks. Who is this enigmatic fellow? Well, if the Brothers Omega are the co-captains of the vessel, Mr. Cooper is the official first mate. In addition to posting whatever the hell he wants (we scoff in the face of structure), Patrick is gracing us with two weekly features: Cage Match and Omega Sinema.

Unless you’re a total lamebrain, you are going to love him.

RENDAR FRANKENSTEIN
Just in case you’re wondering, I’m not new to OL. I am, in fact, the man/creature/invention formerly known as P-Bones Krueger. Why am I now R. Frankenstein? Is this new moniker actually necessary? Isn’t it ridiculous that I have assumed yet another identity?

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll ask Superman…or Clark Kent…or Kal-El.

Ha, that’s a twist to the secret identity trope that even Bill missed.

THE HOLIDAYS
Don’t worry about OL closing up shop during the holiday season. We believe that everyone should celebrate the holidays any way they see fit. For us, it means hanging with friends, eating too much food, and discussing the malarkey (as always). So if you’re feeling slightly subversive, feel free to stop by and revel!

At the top of my holiday to-do list: watch Black Santa’s Revenge:

Hey guys. You look terrific. Welcome to another week of Cage news and junk. The past week we’ve seen the release of a new Cage movie on DVD and more info on Ghost Rider 2. There’s also a new interview and some more random Cageness for your enjoyment. Damn, you really do look terrific.

Like I mentioned last week, Trapped in Paradise is available on Netflix Watch Instantly. I did go back and revisit it after about 15 years. I liked it way more than I thought I would. The story itself is a by-the-numbers love/holiday/crime movie, but Cage’s performance as the moralistic, criminally romantic Bill Firpo is terrific. It teeters on the edge of bored Nic Cage and the insane genius we all love. His moments of rage in the film are hilarious and I’ve thrown in a few funny screenshots I took while watching it. So check that movie out if you haven’t already. Also, it made me warm and fuzzy for the holidays. Okay on with the show!

Sorcerer’s Apprentice Out!!! Nic Cage Is Bored

Yesterday the Sorcerer’s Apprentice came out on Blu-Ray and DVD (if you’re poor). I picked it up from a Redbox last night and was pretty excited to watch it. I don’t know why. From the trailers and clips I had seen I knew it wasn’t going to be the insane genius Nic Cage but the bored, reading his lines to get a paycheck Nic Cage.

After about 15 minutes I thought the movie was at its conclusion. Seriously there are so many magic battles in the first act that everything has the vibe of a final battle. That’s not a good thing because when the smoke cleared, I didn’t give a shit anymore.

One good thing did come out of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice: Cage fucking with people during interviews for the film. Ahem:

How did it feel to play a sorcerer?

Cage: This is the role I’ve been waiting to do my whole life. When I was a kid, I used to love pretending to be a superhero. I was always playing around and shooting energy out of my hands. In that respect, I’ve been rehearsing for this role for years because Balthazar certainly shoots plasma out of his hands in “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.”

…ok with me.

A Slew of New Set Pics From Ghostrider 2

Romanian website Libertatea has a bunch of new pics from the set of Ghostrider 2: Spirit of Vengeance, which I believe has finished shooting. I’m really excited about this one not only because Cage gets to resurrect a role that he had to tone down in the first film but also because of the directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. This duo has created some of the most original, insane, and visually bananas movies to come out in a long time (Crank 1 and 2, Gamer).

But what does Cage think of working with Neveldine and Taylor? And what do you suppose his reaction is to the Nic Cage Losing His Shit viral video? Well…

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[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

November 17, 1943

To My Beloved Betty,

As I write to you I sit aboard a vessel that, despite being a giant in its own right, is dwarfed by the mammoth that is the Pacific. If it weren’t starting to turn crimson with the blood of good, honest (and not so honest) men, I’d swear this ocean is the embodiment of God himself.

All of the supposed comforts provided by this battleship are revealed as mere feats of human ingenuity – designs of imperfect and selfish beings – when one understands the magnificence of its supporting body of water. I spend a lot of time on deck, staring out into its vastness, wondering how it is that I’ve ever managed to feel important.

The ocean is natural and timeless. Humanity’s current path seems to be anything but.

However, when I think of you and the love you’ve given me I can’t help but remember why it is that I continue. In the long term, I truly believe that we — people, human beings, civilization — will be but a flash in the pan. With that being said, there’s no reason to settle for less during our moment.

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A thousand years ago, when this season was a bore, I couldn’t have imagined enjoying the season as much as I am. But none the less, episode upon episode continues to build upon the rocket doomship that Dexter and Lumen seem to be strapped onto. Unbeknown to them, the spilling of the Jordan Chase gang’s barrel loot has kicked off a cascading set of events that are building towards either the most plucky escape or their doom. I think it’s safe to bet on escape. But fucking how?

The unveil behind the creation of the Boyd Fowler posse popped off last night, and it was nothing short of satisfying. Nothing like some gang rape at summer camp to truly cement these dudes in the echelons of monsters. The creepiest part? Jordan not partaking in the ritual. Instead, the son of a bitch guides the rapes and murders, imploring his little lackeys to seize their primal desire. The dude probably goes home and burps his dong into a bucket. It is voluminous. Creeper creeping in the background, orchestrating everything.

What does this say about his drives, though? For someone who tells everyone else to go about taking what they believe is theirs, why doesn’t he actually partake in the ritual? Overlord of the Rape Gang?

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And these sneakers are super-swank-masturbation, no? Good friend of mine, and newly minted contributor, Patrick brought these bad boys to my attention. I think he enjoys showing me sneakers that I couldn’t even fit my big toe into. You son of a bitch, Patrick!

Hypebeast breaks down these studs:

Inspired by the DeLorean DMC-12, Nike 6.0 Introduces the Limited-Edition DeLorean Nike Dunk, a Fusion of Innovation and Style. Influenced by the DMC-12′s aerodynamic design and trademark characteristics, Nike reinterpreted the car’s sleek stainless steel exterior into a matte silver, no-sew constructed upper while also taking cues from the gull-wing doors on the bottom eyestay. The shoe’s outsole references the Delorean’s tail lights and the DMC-12′s rear window shades reappear as graphic lines on the heel replacing the traditional stitches. Meanwhile, the Belfast stamp on the tongue is a nod to the Irish factory that originally produced the vehicle.

Sexiness. Hit the jump for a gallery of these time-traveling sex pieces.

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