#Caffeine Powered
Xbox’s next console Project Scarlett won’t do VR because “no one’s asking for it” and I respect that shit
Let’s get it out of the way, you fucking pendants. Surely, some people are asking for VR. But, I’m in support of Microsoft’s decision not to do VR on Project Scarlett. Why? It’ll let the fuckers concentrate on why people buy a new XBOX: the fucking games. It’s a refreshing refocus. You know, after trying to be a jack-of-all-trades at the beginning of this console cycle with a fucking Kinect, and a TV tuner, and other bullshit.
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Astronomers have spotted first Galaxy with three supermassive black holes. Write your own jokes, kthnx!
For decades, Astronomy Wizards thought galaxy NGC 6240 contained two supermassive black holes. But, motherfuckers were off by one! That’s right, NGC 6240 got 33% more black holes than previously thought. Awesome.
‘The Batman’ casts John Turturro as Carmine Falcone. My word, this cast!
John Turturro is the latest talented actor to join The Batmam in the role of Carmine Falcone. At this point, this cast is flat out preposterous.
Reports: ‘Resident Evil 3’ Remake is arriving in 2020. Hey, Capcom you could always make a new ‘Resident Evil’ game again, right, you know this, right?
A Resident Evil 3 remake is dropping in 2020. But, let me just be blunt. I’m fucking tired of remakes. Make a new fucking title in the franchise, ya bums.
Weekend Open Bar: Days of Future Past
Well, it’s official, motherfuckers. Blade Runner is the past. Instead of being a clarion call about the direction we were heading, it’s now officially yet another warning wasted. But, hey! What the fuck can you do. I suppose continue sallying forth towards our inevitable destruction. Or at the least, towards Blade Runner 2049. An equally foreboding portent.
But, the good news! You don’t have to do it alone. As long as the Space-Ship Omega is humming through the digital cosmos, you have a hearth to call your own. As, every weekend, we gather around said hearth. For the Open Bar!
Within these walls, around this hearth, we share what we’re up to during a given weekend. And, I hope you’ll join me! What the fuck is happening this weekend in your life? Are you playing some Fallen Order? Stressfully picking up accouterments for Thanksgiving dinner? Diligently scouring Black Friday ads for where you’re going to inevitably punch a grandma in the tits over a TV?
Amazon may launch cloud gaming service in 2020 with Twitch integration. Your move, shitty Stadia!
Google Stadia is a dumpster fire at the moment. Reports of devices overheating. People not getting their access codes. In other words, the perfect moment for Amazon to throw their hat in the ring. And, flexing by bringing Twitch to theirs.
‘Half-Life: Alyx’ Trailer: A full-fledged VR prequel that hits March 2020. But VR only? Fuck me.
Well, Half-Life: Alyx looks rad. The son of a bitch is hitting March 2020, but you gotta have a VR headset. And, I ain’t got one of them! So, enjoy it friends that do.
Scientists place humans in “suspended animation” for the first time. The future is fucking wild, friends.
Well, shit is interesting. Scientists have placed humans into “suspended animation” for the first time. The future simply does not fuck around.
Kathleen Kennedy doesn’t know what next ‘Star Wars’ movie will be but says Jon Favreau will have a big role. This is so fucking good, no?
Interesting. Kathleen Kennedy doesn’t know what the next Star Wars movie is going to be. The Feige one is years away. However, she does know that Jon Favreau will have a big role in the future of Star Wars. And after the last week? I think we can all agree that’s fantastic fucking news.
‘Joker’ sequel with Todd Phillips attached may or may not be happening. Probably yes, because we live in Hell
Today, news broke that a Joker sequel being helmed by Todd Phillips was a go. Not surprising, right? Original made a zillion dollars. However, Deadline has reported that shit ain’t set in stone. However given how much the first movie made, it’s pretty obvious the sequel is coming. I suppose the larger question is whether or not Phillips will return. Dude claims “artistic integrity” by made thirteen Hangover movies so fucking probably.
