#Caffeine Powered
The new ‘Battlestar Galactica’ show has found its showrunner, which apparently ain’t ‘Mr. Robot’ creator Sam Esmail. Frak this!
The new Battlestar Galactica show got its showrunner! And, it ain’t Sam Esmail. Fuck! He’s only executive producing. That said, the dude they’ve tapped was behind the AMC mini-series Little Drummer Girl. Which apparently rock! So, I suppose we will see.
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Monday Morning Commute: Same as it ever was!
Talking Heads lyrics fucking speaking to me today, man. How is life during the pandemic, this week? Same as it ever was. Alternatively, the title of the song those lyrics are from is also apropos. Once in a lifetime. ‘Cause fuck me, if we have to live through this goddamn trash a second time. And okay, I’m not counting some sort of recurrent wave that’s indubitably hitting this fall. I mean, like — when it’s done.
Another week has passed. Nothing has changed, at least for the better. More morons outside. Increasing death rates, increasing infection rates. Extending stay-at-home orders in my state. The mundanity and the madness trudges forward.
Same as it ever was. Same as it will be.
However, it ain’t all bad news, motherfuckers! Nope! Nope. In fact, yesterday I recorded my final “virtual” classes for my students. All that stands between the end of the semester and me is two weeks of grading, and Zoom sessions. Not bad. Not bad at all.
I have to say, I guess I’m not depressed today, though! Small victories. Day by day. How do I know? Well, I’m actually stoked for shit. And, I’d like to tell you what I’m stoked for, friends!
This is Monday Morning Commute!
Nicolas Cage playing Joe Exotic in scripted series from ‘American Vandal’ showrunner. This is a fucking incredible confluence.
Nicolas Cage is going to be playing Joe Exotic in a scripted TV series, friends. Fucking perfect. Dude is fucking awesome and he’s also bat shit crazy. Thus, he’s about as perfect as you can get when casting Joe Exotic. As well, American Vandal was a goddamn glorious sleeper hit, which mixed the absurd and the insightful. This trifecta is going to fucking rock it, dudes.
Taika Waititi is officially directing a new ‘Star Wars’ movie and fuck yeah, I’m all in
Man! It was rumored, and now it’s official. Taika Waititi is directing a new Star Wars movie. This is so fucking good, my dudes.
Animated ‘Transformers’ prequel movie coming from ‘Toy Story 4’ director. I can HEAVILY fuck with this, you know?
All you fucking assholes didn’t see Bumblebee. So, the prospect of a sequel to that very fun flick seems dead. But, this seems like a decent second place. A legitimate Transformers animated prequel movie is coming, and it’s from the Toy Story 4 director.
‘John Wick 4’ has been delayed a full year until 2022. Absolutely not most excellent, dudes.
MOTHER. FUCK. I was already annoyed that The Matrix 4 was filming before John Wick 4. Now? My rage knows no bounds. The latter has been delayed until 2022, which absolutely sucks. Okay, I’m not that mad. Just sort of bummed, you know?
NASA picks Elon Musk’s SpaceX, Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin to build lunar landers for manned moon mission. Privatize the Cosmos, baby!
NASA has chosen SpaceX and Blue Origin to build motherfucking lunar landers for the next manned moon missions! Man, I’m torn. Elon Musk is such a fucking tool that it’s hard to get stoked for SpaceX building lunar landers. Same goes for that fuck face Jeff Bezos. But, I gotta admit. New manned moon missions make my tits hard.
Weekend Open Bar: Diarrhea Death Race 2000!
Every weekend, my friends. I’m living the motherfucking Diarrhea Death Race 2000! Nothing compliments five-straight days of clean eating like a 48-hour bender of insane caloric bombardment. And every weekend, there’s at least one point, where I have to sprint full-speed into the bathroom before my blow ass all over my boxer briefs. Doesn’t matter if I’m about to fuck, it doesn’t matter if I’m working out, and it doesn’t matter if I’m playing Final Fantasy VII. The moment grips me. The bowels quiver. And like that, I’m off to the races.
Pentagon has released legit-ass UFO footage and how sick is this shit?
Man. The Pentagon sure chose a clever fucking time for this drop. I mean, they’ve released UFO footage! Drop it during a pandemic, bury the lede. And, that ain’t the wildest part. Senator Harry Reid has said that he is “glad the Pentagon is finally releasing this footage, but it only scratches the surface of research and materials available” with the emphasis motherfucking mine.
Microsoft debuting Xbox Series X gameplay on May 7. Sony, where the fuck you at kid?
Microsoft has announced they’re dropping Xbox Series X gameplay footage May 7. Man, they seem to be crushing the next-gen reveal game. We know what the console looks like, we’re getting gameplay footage. Meanwhile, Sony’s like. We have a system, here’s a controller. How much is it going to cost? What’s it going to look like? Fuck you.
