#Caffeine Powered
‘Deadpool 2’ Trailer: Equal Parts Bob Ross and Merc With The Mouth
The first trailer for Deadpool 2 has dropped, and it has dropped in straight fuckin’ Deadpool fashion. It’s equal parts Bob Ross and Merc with a Mouth. Makes sense, right? For, what would this franchise be now, without some self-aware meta sprinkled in with its sleek utlra-violence? Fucking nothing, that’s what!
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That ‘Lord of the Rings’ TV series for Amazon is going to be a prequel. ‘Cause why not the teats must be milked
Hey! How do the powers that be at Amazon compensate for pretty much all of Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit having been beaten into paste, snorted, puked up, and snorted again? ‘Cause, you know, they’ve got a TV series coming? Prequel, baby! Ah yes, that insipid fucking narrative technique.
‘John Wick’ creator adapting ‘Hitman’ games into Hulu TV series. Perfect combo is perfect
The motherfuckin’ creator of John Wick is adapting the Hitman franchise for Hulu. As far as pairings between talent and content go, this is pretty fucking perfect.
Ben Affleck says he’s “contemplating” the ‘Batman’ solo movie. Bro, it’s cool, move on
Poor fucking Ben Affleck. He’s all “contemplating” The Batman. Like, dude, it’s fine. BatFleck ain’t your thing. Be free. We won’t blame you. No need for all this deliberation and shit. I’d be exhausted too from starring in these Zack Snyder directed, critically panned, eternally burning dumpster fires.
SNES Saturdays #3 – Thorgasms and the Great Bear Brawl
Nintendo planning to heavily increase Switch hardware production in 2018. Apparently they like money more than scarcity
Nintendo got themselves some fucking plans in 2018 to ramp up Switch production. Not exactly a fucking controversial move, here. You know, given that the console dropped two of the best reviewed games since I sprouted pubes in the same fucking year.
Denis Villeneuve still interested in directing a ‘Bond’ movie. I can’t even fucking handle the thought
Denis Villeneuve is still interested in directing a Bond flick and my balls can’t even handle the thought. Admittedly, it can’t be Bond 25 due to his upcoming Dune adaptation. But, that doesn’t matter. Bond 26, Bond 39. Just make it happen.
You see, I’ve been sweating Villeneuve for a good goddamn bit now. I mean, pretty much since Prisoners. However, man. It’s tough to difficult to describe how hard he rocked my geek prostate with Blade Runner 2049.
‘Assassin’s Creed Origins’ has already doubled the initial sales of the previous installment. Dare I say, killing the sales charts
The latest AssCreed has doubled the sales of the previous title across the same launch period. Drink that the fuck in. I’m not surprised though, because everything I’ve read about Assassin’s Creed Origins suggests that at the very least, it’s fun. A reinvention of a viscous formula? Not quite. However, the impression seems that the franchise benefitted from actually, oh I don’t know, taking a fucking year off. So, here’s hoping that Ubisoft makes the connection between the uptick in sales, and the deannualization of AssCreed.
Weekend Open Bar: I Eat Stickers All The Time, Dude!
Friends! Friends. I’m at a level of fatigue that I do not usually reach. Oh, the ethers from beyond beckon me towards slumber. Like not eternal slumber, don’t get me wrong. More like, oh, I don’t know. Eating six Pop Tarts, drowning my esophagus in ice cream, and drifting off. Drifting off where? Ideally to the Astral Plane for a good twelve or so hours. Just ripping ass, snoring, and healing my weakened mind-shafts.
The good news?
The good news is that I am of that privileged sort that has the weekends off.
‘Star Wars’ Live-Action TV series confirmed, coming to Disney streaming service. God bless torrents, right?
Star Wars live-action TV series coming to Disney’s streaming service. And this, friends, is why the lord created torrenting.
