#March2014

Warner Bros. ALL FIXIN’ to announce NEW SERIES of DC-BASED flicks soon.

everybody drink

This makes sense, right? I mean, Warner Bros. has to like eventually announce their first full slate of movies. Good knows when though, since “soon”,  could mean from next week all the way through SDCC.

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Rumor: WB WANTS JOAQUIN PHOENIX to play LEX LUTHOR

Joaquin Phoenix.

If this rumor holds, the Man of Steel franchise will continue assimilating a ridiculous quantity of talented actors into its corpus. WB apparently wants Joaquin Phoenix to play Lex Luthor, and I think that would be fucking awesome.

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DC wins the FINAL APPEAL in the case of SUPERMAN RIGHTS

Action Comics #1.

It appears that DC is inching closer (if they haven’t closed the case already) towards completely subsuming the Superman rights into their bulging corpus. Latest in a long line of appeals and whatever stuff has ruled in favor of The Man.

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RUMOR: GOSLING, BROLIN up for BATMAN in ‘BATMAN VS SUPERMAN’ or whatever

MARRIED AND IN LOVE AND SHIT.

Looks like 50% of the fucking Gangster Squad is becoming considered to don the cowl for Batman vs Superman vs Batman: The Dark Guy Strikes Things or whatever. And if they can’t get them, Warner Bros is only considering like 3,000 other people.

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Judge confirms SUPERMAN belongs to DC. Alas.

Roar.

Don’t let the headline fool you, the battle for Superman’s soul isn’t over. Okay, soul is a bit erroneous. And over-dramatic. The fight for Superman’s wondrous money-making capabilities isn’t over. That doesn’t mean there haven’t been ebbs and flows to the case. The latest has the tide turning in DC’s favor. What does this all mean?! I have no fucking idea.

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Rumor: CHRISTOPHER NOLAN in talks to guide ‘JUSTICE LEAGUE’ flick, BALE back as BATMAN.

Christopher Nolan.

Christopher Nolan is maybe-apparently in talks to take over stewardship of the Justice League movie. I can sort of swallow that. Taste it on my tongue. What I have a hard time believing, and definitely what I have a hard time figuring out my feelings regarding, is the potential for Bale to once again don the cloak in said film. How does all of this make your nethers feel? Tell me.

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First look of Amy Adams as LOIS LANE is all okay, business casual or something.

Amy Adams up in hurr, up in hurr.

Hey! Here is a black and white picture of Amy Adams holding an iPad. Technically, it is a first look of the actress in the role of Lois Lane. But for my money’s worth, it is pretty unimpressive.

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New ‘MAN OF STEEL’ images feature Supes’ latex dong cradle, and more!

OH HEY IT IS THAT GUY.

From now on, that is what I’m calling the region of every superhero’s outfit that gently holds their package. Their dong cradle. ‘Cause as you’ll see, Supes’ outfit is gingerly cradling his super-children. Just waiting to doff the outfit, and unfurl the silent terror. I’m not sure what I’m talking about anymore. I just like using the phrase “dong cradle.” Try it.

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Butcher Billy goes full NOLAN x BURTON on the ‘BATMAN’ movies.

Froggy fresh.

It is safe to just crown Butcher Billy as the hotness in the community at the moment. What community? Shoot, every community? Hot off of inserting classic Marvel art into the company’s movies comes this newest effort. The Nolan and Burton mash-up we don’t deserve. The one we need.

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Court ruling finds ‘SUPERMAN’ back in Warner Bros. and DC Comics’ greasy paws.

Fuck Warner Bros! As of right now, I am publicly rescinding the pitch I sent to them. You know, the pitch about the bi-polar kid so hopped up on caffeine he literally pierces time and space with one frothy piss. Once he clambers into the other dimension, he finds a pet unicorn who he falls in love with. After a prolonged courting process, they make love. The kid dies almost immediately. I rescind all of this, because Warner Bros. will just make like a zillion bucks off it and I’ll get nothing. Nothing!

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