Don’t let the headline fool you, the battle for Superman’s soul isn’t over. Okay, soul is a bit erroneous. And over-dramatic. The fight for Superman’s wondrous money-making capabilities isn’t over. That doesn’t mean there haven’t been ebbs and flows to the case. The latest has the tide turning in DC’s favor. What does this all mean?! I have no fucking idea.
Christopher Nolan is maybe-apparently in talks to take over stewardship of the Justice League movie. I can sort of swallow that. Taste it on my tongue. What I have a hard time believing, and definitely what I have a hard time figuring out my feelings regarding, is the potential for Bale to once again don the cloak in said film. How does all of this make your nethers feel? Tell me.
Hey! Here is a black and white picture of Amy Adams holding an iPad. Technically, it is a first look of the actress in the role of Lois Lane. But for my money’s worth, it is pretty unimpressive.
From now on, that is what I’m calling the region of every superhero’s outfit that gently holds their package. Their dong cradle. ‘Cause as you’ll see, Supes’ outfit is gingerly cradling his super-children. Just waiting to doff the outfit, and unfurl the silent terror. I’m not sure what I’m talking about anymore. I just like using the phrase “dong cradle.” Try it.
It is safe to just crown Butcher Billy as the hotness in the community at the moment. What community? Shoot, every community? Hot off of inserting classic Marvel art into the company’s movies comes this newest effort. The Nolan and Burton mash-up we don’t deserve. The one we need.
Fuck Warner Bros! As of right now, I am publicly rescinding the pitch I sent to them. You know, the pitch about the bi-polar kid so hopped up on caffeine he literally pierces time and space with one frothy piss. Once he clambers into the other dimension, he finds a pet unicorn who he falls in love with. After a prolonged courting process, they make love. The kid dies almost immediately. I rescind all of this, because Warner Bros. will just make like a zillion bucks off it and I’ll get nothing. Nothing!
Pencil this in as “fucking obvious”, friends. It is rumored that Darkseid is going to be the villain in the upcoming Justice League movie. It’s going to be great when people get Darkseid and Thanos confused, and/or begin to bicker over who is the less lame purple piece of shit big bad.
Warner Bros. is hoping to surf some of the Avengers magic by working it in reverse. Word! Instead of launching a bunch of successful individual movies and tying them into one huge one, they’re going to do the opposite. Release one huge pile of crap, and spin it off into individual little steaming butt sores.
Hey! Wee! Score one for the billion-dollar corporation! Those plucky bastards.
One of those stalwart manners for cross-promoting a comic book and a funny rag movie is to get yourself a tie-in comic. Usually that sort of thing makes me puke chunks. Little corn-filled chunks, from them corn and beans empanadas that I pound before power lifting. Maybe this next one from DC will be different, though. They haven’t confirmed it, but word on the corporate-synergy-market-everything-into-paste vine is that Scotty Snyder will be helming a Man of Steel comic.