#August2022
Astronomers fucking flabbergasted by mysterious radio waves that defy physics
Astronomers out there on the regular holding their fucking dicks in their hands. Their tits in their mitts. The latest instance? They’ve discovered mysterious radio waves that defy physics. Seemingly defy physics. Whatever. Fucking still!
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Earth just mysteriously spun faster, recorded shortest day ever. Whelp!
Hey let’s slap this bitch onto our lists of Ominous Portents. Except, not really. Except, maybe? The Earth just mysteriously spun faster yesterday, which led to the shortest day ever recorded. Now it wasn’t like a stunning amount of time was shaved off, but still! Pretty fucking gnarly.
Most powerful space telescope ever will look into the “dark ages” of the universe. Careful, brother!
We must be careful when we peer into dark ages of the universe with the most powerful space telescope ever. For when we do, that motherfucker will peer back. Seriously though, I’m fucking stoked for what the James Webb telescope is gonna discover.
Study suggests Methane Plumes on Saturn’s moon Enceladus could be sign of alien life!
Are the methane plumes on Saturn’s moon Enceladus indicative of alien life? Maybe! And that’s enough to get my tits stiffening. Am I overreacting? Sure, maybe. Who knows. But. Listen, I’m fucking in on all potential signs of alien life. Microbes, methane plumes, whatever the fuck.
Freshly Made Interstellar Plutonium Has Been Found in Pacific Ocean. Space Up In Our Shit!
Some motherfucking cataclysmic event happened in outer space, and that shit sent interstellar plutonium into the Pacific ocean. Like, I love this sort of shit. Humanity usually thinks themselves divorced and separate from the cosmos. But nah, motherfucker! It’s definitely interacting with our asses, and this is a fantastic reminder.
NASA’s Voyager 1 Probe Detects The Steady Hum of Plasma in Interstellar Space. The Cosmos is Glorious!
We’ve sent Voyager 1’s ass into deep space. Interstellar space, even! Now out there, it’s discovering all sorts of dope shit. Take this shit for example: the steady hum of plasma.
NASA’s Parker Solar Probe Discovers Radio Signal Coming From Venus. This is how ‘The Expanse’ happens, folks!
Looks like we got ourselves a motherfucking protomolecule situation, friends. Okay, aiight. It’s definitely not that shit, but it’s still wild. You see, NASA’s Parker Solar Probe has discovered a radio signal coming from Venus. Like, holy fuck.
NASA’s Mars helicopter is online and has sent back its first photo. Red Planet is red, baby!
NASA’s Mars helicopter is online and ready to fucking rock, folks. Rock some photos of rocks and shit! Not only is the motherfucker operational, but it’s sent back its first photo! Now listen I agree the photo fucking sucks. But it’s just the goddamn first one!
Hit the jump to check it out.
Huge chunk of Alien World may be buried in the Earth, according to a study. Fuck yeah to this study!
A new study proposes that there is a huge fucking chunk of an alien world buried in the Earth. Is this true? Who fucking knows! Additionally, who fucking cares! Just the idea that this is bandied about is fucking rad to me.
NASA has revealed its plans for first helicopter flight on Mars. A fucking helicopter flight on Mars!
Wait, hold the fuck on! NASA is planning a goddamn helicopter flight? On fucking Mars? My glistening nips, is this ever fucking cool. Today, the Space-Wizards revealed their plans for said flight, and goddamn let’s go fellas!
