Former Mass Effect lead Casey Hudson is returning to BioWare to serve as the company’s general manager. Hudson. Please. I beg you. Unfuck Mass Effect.
Mass Effect: Andromeda is a broken ass, piece of shit game, which no one cares about anymore, that was made by a studio which no longer exists. Thus, the news that it won’t be getting single-player DLC shouldn’t surprise anyone.
Go figure. The shit-ass BioWare team that was sort of formed to create Mass Effect: Andromeda has been scaled down, with the franchise put on hiatus. My suggest for BioWare and Electronic Arts? Give the franchise to a fucking A+ squad and reap the benefits. You dildos.
The whole thrust of the new Mass Effect is to find a new home for humanity. Well, BioWare has dropped a trailer exploring the potential resting sites for us denizens of the Blue Marble.
Fuck. Mass Effect: Andromeda is coming. Fuck! Fuck yes.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Mass Effect: Andromeda has an actual release date. March 21, 2017. Oh, and March 23rd in Europe. Holy shit. Holy shit.
Fuck yeah! Celebrate N7 Day an official Mass Effect: Andromeda cinematic trailer! Though, I have to say. I want more information! I want a fucking release date! I want a substantial amount of gameplay! I’ve been waiting nearly five fucking years!
God does not care if I jerk off, eat pizza, jerk off while eating pizza. I’ve explicitly asked it for permission while I did both activities. Paws filled with pizza sauce, and people sauce, and a ragged smile. God, I said. Do I have permission for this? No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack. God, I said. Are you busy? I have trouble with the fact that I’m tortured by the past and terrified of the future. No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack. God, I said. Are you busy? I have trouble with the fact that I’m in a rotting meat-case on a rotting planet, and frankly I think it’s a race to the finish line between the two of us. No word. No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack.
Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? It’s the weekend and I want to hang out with all of you. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard. Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? It’s the weekend and I want you to share everything you’re reading, eating, playing, seeing, experiencing with me. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard.
God, I said. Are you busy? Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? Jack, jack, eat, jack. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard.
God, Citizens, let’s spend some time together.
This is Weekend Open Bar.
Once again, people around the Mass Effect franchise are teasing a remake of the original trilogy. I’m going to level with you: I 100% believe a remake is coming, and the only reason it has not been released yet is because it’s going to be strategically timed to prime the gaming psyche before the release of Mass Effect: Andromeda. Also, for what it’s worth: I would pay inordinate amounts of money to have a remade trilogy in my greasy paws right now. Fuck.
Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. I need this game. Trailer straight offering nothing, and yet still straight breaking my dick.