I knew that Mass Effect was true. I just knew it. All those letters I have sent to Shepard care of The Citadel haven’t been in vain. Knew it, knew it! You doubt me? Check this fresh shit out. A college student has created a gel that stops bleeding instantly. Just like medi-gel, yo! Now we must prepare for the Reapers. You with me?
I’m not over Mass Effect. I’ll never be over Mass Effect. Nearly a year after Mass Effect 3: 99.9% Awesomeness, I’m beginning to feign for new iterations of the series. So yeah, bring on a canonical comic book series. I’m ready!
At this point in the dance, continuing to complain about microtransactions in gaming is like me complaining about blood in my stool. It is part and parcel for the area. If I didn’t want blood in my stool, I’d stop soaking my cells in aluminium filings to keep away the Illuminati Mind Control. If I didn’t want to deal with microtransactions, I would stop gaming. Dead Space 3 is the latest culprit in this spreading phenomenon. But don’t cry! It has N7 armor for some of us. Wee!
An enterprising gentleman by the user name of Rig on Soundcloud has taken the various Reaper sounds from the Mass Effect series and smashed them together to create a wonderful cacophony. The track also confirms that dubstep does, in fact, sound like the robot apocalypse.
Tali! We never saw your dumb face in Mass Effect, and for that I can never forgive you. That withstanding, this cosplay dedicated to you is lovely.
Disregard the fact that this woman is a bit too tan to be Miranda. Just throw it right out the window. Instead, just bask in the concept of Miranda body paint. Don’t hate. Appreciate.
This are pretty. I’d like to strap them on, and take you out on a date. Buy you some pizza and show you my Get Rich scheme. It involves stock piling teeth fillings for the eventual stock market crash. Will you donate some? You’d look just fine down a tooth. Be a good Christian during this time of year.
My first response is “Ah, dog shit! Why isn’t BioWare proper working on the next Mass Effect game?” Then I recall the steaming shit they slithered down my throat at the conclusion of the first trilogy, and everything doesn’t seem so awful.
Someday I’m going to let go of my disdain for the ending to the first Mass Effect trilogy. Someday. When monkeys fly out of my butt! Groans from the audience. Resentful rimshot from the band drummer. For now enjoy these plushies by viciouspretty.
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