Mass Effect! Motherfutzer returns next year, and god dammit I cannot wait. Also arriving next year? A friggin’ Mass Effect theme park ride.
Welcome back, Drew Karpyshyn! You are the writer of the original Mass Effect, and a lad who had spent a long time with BioWare. You wandered off, and realized how good you had it at your former employer. Now you’ve returned. Wizened. Grateful. Homesick. Us BioWare fans are happy to have you back, too.
Jade Raymond has hopped from one enormous, bloated, annualizing company to another enormous, bloated, annualizing company to start her own studio. But uh, she’s also going to be overseeing a couple of my most anticipated games, on top of that. Mass Effect: Andromeda, and the as-of-now-not-revealed Star Wars game from Visceral.
I mean…No matter what he does, the HoloLens couldn’t ever possibly be lamer than the ending to Mass Effect 3, right? Maybe? #LetItGoCaffLetItGo
Apparently back in the day a lot of Dragon Age: Inquisition details leaked through a survey. Now it seems the same is occurring with the new Mass Effect. And would you believe I’m going to abstain from reading them? #ForceandWill
One of the surprising things about Mass Effect 3 was how fucking awful its conclusion was. Another surprising thing about Mass Effect 3, though, was how fun its multiplayer was. So bring it on!
Could I have integrated this post into my first Mass Effect blathering of the day? You bet your ass! But I want it sequestered. For easy access. For ogling. For touching. For nodding. For no good but yes fun.
C’mon, BioWare. Stop fucking around with me, and Mass Effect 4. You’re “discussing” this shit at this year’s SDCC? The fuck does that mean? Bro I need footage. I need footage stat.
BioWare! Just fucking take my money! Take my money. Release these remastered editions. Watch me lap at your feet like the little classless, begging Mass Effect trollop that I am.