God does not care if I jerk off, eat pizza, jerk off while eating pizza. I’ve explicitly asked it for permission while I did both activities. Paws filled with pizza sauce, and people sauce, and a ragged smile. God, I said. Do I have permission for this? No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack. God, I said. Are you busy? I have trouble with the fact that I’m tortured by the past and terrified of the future. No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack. God, I said. Are you busy? I have trouble with the fact that I’m in a rotting meat-case on a rotting planet, and frankly I think it’s a race to the finish line between the two of us. No word. No word. Jack, jack, eat, jack.
Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? It’s the weekend and I want to hang out with all of you. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard. Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? It’s the weekend and I want you to share everything you’re reading, eating, playing, seeing, experiencing with me. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard.
God, I said. Are you busy? Citizens of OL, I say. Are you busy? Jack, jack, eat, jack. Click click, clack clack of the keyboard.
God, Citizens, let’s spend some time together.
This is Weekend Open Bar.
Once again, people around the Mass Effect franchise are teasing a remake of the original trilogy. I’m going to level with you: I 100% believe a remake is coming, and the only reason it has not been released yet is because it’s going to be strategically timed to prime the gaming psyche before the release of Mass Effect: Andromeda. Also, for what it’s worth: I would pay inordinate amounts of money to have a remade trilogy in my greasy paws right now. Fuck.
Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. I need this game. Trailer straight offering nothing, and yet still straight breaking my dick.
Jesus Christ. When all is said and done I’ll have been waiting five fucking years for my next Mass Effect. Five fucking years!
Pretty wild guerilla (?) marketing. A staff member from BioWare wore the company’s new IP on his shirt throughout GDC and no one (understandably) noticed. I imagined there are many folks currently attempting to find a picture of said Lad, and divine the new IP. Do the hard work for me, friends.
What the fuck. Like, *the game* I was sweating this year.
What the fuck? Man. I want ME4 to be good so hard. So hard! So hard, that this news really concerns me. The optimist within this meat-shell hopes this is just a case of Chris Schlerf returning to Bungie because he missed the joint and they made him a sizable offer to save Destiny. Not, you know, him abandoning a ship of dumpster-fire ruin.
BioWare has dropped a new Mass Effect 4 trailer in celebration of N7 Day. It’s all good and such, with Commander Shepard “signing off” or whatever. But man. Can we see some fucking footage? Like even a dialogue wheel? Maybe?