#November2017

Monday Morning Commute: It’s Just A Fountain Soda, Who Cares?

monday morning commute you saw nothing

Reentry into reality sucks, today. My bowels are still building seriously slippery turds. My sleep schedule is fucked. My brain is staggering around, attempting to figure out how to imbue in students a sense of urgency and discipline that I myself don’t have. But, what can I do? Knuckle up, hunker down, and bang out the rest of the semester.

What can, oh whatever can get me through this week? The rest of the semester? Why, a multitude of things! Why, a multitude of things, condensed into two.

First, the various distractions, distinctions, and arts and farts I’m about to list below!

After all, that’s the whole point of Monday Morning Commute. To share you’re looking forward to this week.

Second, your happenings this week, in the comments section!

After all, that’s the whole point of Monday Morning Commute. To share you’re looking forward to this week.

Without further ado, adieu, to the preamble.

Read the rest of this entry »

Weekend Open Bar: I Eat Stickers All The Time, Dude!

weekend open bar i eat stickers all the time

Friends! Friends. I’m at a level of fatigue that I do not usually reach. Oh, the ethers from beyond beckon me towards slumber. Like not eternal slumber, don’t get me wrong. More like, oh, I don’t know. Eating six Pop Tarts, drowning my esophagus in ice cream, and drifting off. Drifting off where? Ideally to the Astral Plane for a good twelve or so hours. Just ripping ass, snoring, and healing my weakened mind-shafts.

The good news?

The good news is that I am of that privileged sort that has the weekends off.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds’ arriving November 7 so clear your damn schedule

horizon zero dawn the frozen wilds november 7

We officially have a date for that delicious ass Horizon: Zero Dawn DLC. November 7. The title is, arguably, one of my favorite titles of the past five or so years. So goddamn, I say yes!, I say yes! to more content.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds’ E3 Trailer: A Wintry Blessing Of More Robo-Beasts

I need more Horizon: Zero Dawn. I fucking need more HZD! So God is good, despite me being bad, and has reached out with this DLC. Just for me! Just for me! But you may play it too, so long as the sacrifices of Diet Dew and Tropical Starbursts are left outside my dungeon door.

Read the rest of this entry »

Desktop Thursdays: Shred The Gnarl

shred the gnarl!

If I’m being honest, I don’t do Desktop Thursdays on the weekly because some weeks, you know. Some weeks I just haven’t accumulated enough artifacts of my life to make it worth sharing with you. But! This week, I have returned. So let’s Dance the Dance. I’m going to drop on you a glimpse or so into my world(s) – virtual, physical, existential. Following that, I hope you’ll share glimpses into your own!

Read the rest of this entry »

Weekend Open Bar: Passionfruit

weekend open bar passionfruit

Oh, fuck! It’s the Weekend. Oh, fuck! It’s the Weekend Open Bar! Oh, fuck! My wife told me I only have ten minutes to Open the Bar. And, and, and, you know. Between fiddling with the volume control on my speakers, messaging a couple of friends, and, you know. Do you know? ‘Cause I don’t. Where the fuck is the time going? Oh, fuck! Time, it bleeds, life it bleeds, the universe it slowly, slowly bleeds out. Us, it, none of us truly conscious of it! Stay focused though, man! There ain’t time for your usual existential blatherings.

This is Weekend Open Bar!

The cure-all, catch-all weekly column at the end of the work week! Where I, your Captain and Local Garbage Lord, implore you to come and hang out! Share what you’re eating, watching, watching while eating, playing, et cetera. So on. So forth.

Get high, get drunk, get hard, get soft, whatever, whatever, whatever! It’s all good here.  So long as you don your most welcoming and affable of affectations and share what you’re up to this weekend. Shoot the shit, if you will.

This is Weekend Open Bar!

Read the rest of this entry »

Weekend Open Bar: Live From The Post-Apocalyparadise!

I initially had a really dour headline and gif to kick off this weekend’s Open Bar. The title was “It’s Better If You Don’t”, which really was a phrase which didn’t mean anything to me. The gif was of an insomnia-riddled Jack from Fight Club blinking at the endless stuffing of the info-tube into his mind-gullet.

My wife’s been away for like fifteen days. My job is stressful and tenuous. The skies are gray and bleeding moisture. Just not feeling It today, you know?

But, hey, man. What the fuck, right? Why wallow?

Read the rest of this entry »

Desktop Thursdays: open your heart to the snake oil peddlers

desktop thursdays open your heart to the snake oil peddlers

This is Desktop Thursdays! Your (quasi)weekly look at my world(s). Be they emotional, virtual, realistical, video gamical. All them fucking worlds! I ain’t just about sharing, though. Show me your world(s) in the comments section. I beseech thee.

Read the rest of this entry »

[Review] Horizon Zero Dawn: A Mass Effect

horizon-zero-dawn-late-2016-screen-5_h4x5

I told myself I’d write this review after getting 10 hours of gameplay under my belt.  Then 15.  Then 25. Then I told myself I’d write this review after I beat the game. Well, here we are.  Two days out from what was supposed to be the biggest release of the year, Mass Effect: Andromeda.  Yet, I find the sound of HZD to be deafening.  This game was a phenom. It was out of the blue. It was a comet that was caught in our gravity and slammed into our collective conscious from the great beyond.

Read the rest of this entry »

Monday Morning Commute: Don’t Stop Me Now!

monday morning commute don't stop me now

Hello, friends. Hello, comrades. Passersby, lurkers, regulars. Hello, hello, hello. We are on Day Three of my Spring Break, which is also Day Three of my wife being away on a vacation in Belize.

Don’t fret! I’ve washed my ass. Don’t fret! My animals are alive. Don’t fret! I’m eating. Don’t fret, don’t fret, don’t fret. Oh sure, it’s a half-hearted scrub. Oh sure, they’re bored of me and I’m bored of them. Oh sure, no vegetables have been spotted near my throat-chasm since last week.

Am I losing my mind? Always.

Am I feeling Cabin Fever? I hope not, because there’s a blizzard coming tomorrow that’s going to pin me right in this house.

Am I hoping you’ll come hang out in Monday Morning Commute? Share what you’re enjoying-looking-forward-to-thinking-about-consuming this week?

Absolutely.

Read the rest of this entry »