Cliff Bleszinski leaves Epic Games. HOLY MUNG.

October 3rd, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

This is a bit shocking to me. Folks, there has been a separation of unfathomable gaming magnitude. I never thought I’d see the day that Dude Huge would leave Epic Games. Dude went together with them like Miyamoto and Nintendo, Kojima and Konami. Up is down, left is right. Dorks with really honest replicas of Lancers are unknowing who to get to sign them. This is pandemonium.

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‘GEARS OF WAR: JUDGMENT’ Dropping Next MARCH. Roid Up, Rock Out.

July 13th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

The turnaround time on the next Gears of War joint is significantly mitigated in comparison to previous entries. Get ready to rock out prequel stylee early next year.

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UNREAL ENGINE 4′S FIRST GAME Is…’FORTNITE’ Well Then.

July 13th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

I guess I don’t have to worry about having a rig that can play the first game running Unreal Engine 4. Phew.

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‘GEARS OF WAR: JUDGMENT’ REVEALED; Totally Looks Like Prequel. Bro Hug.

June 1st, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

Yo! Fuck Monday. That’s so far away. The lid has been blown off Gears of War: Bro Hugs Through Cuffs today, and in a world with no patience that is exactly how we’ll have it.

Hit the jump for the Game Informer  covers.

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Epic Games’ Cliff Bleszinski To Future Indie Devs: Make Your Games On PC

March 9th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

Dude Huge! Cliffy b! Whatever you want to call the good chap, he’s been cutting his teeth in the industry for years and years. Speaking at a GDC panel this week,  Bleszinski gave some advice to future indie developers: the PC is where it is at.

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‘Gears Of War’ Creators Ain’t Down With SOPA. Beefy HGH-Armed High-Five!

January 5th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

A plethora of companies are throwing their weight behind the proposed SOPA bill. Not really caring about its dangerous implications of freedom of speech on the internet or whatever, so long as it cuts down on piracy. Epic Games  ain’t rolling with that posse.

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Ice-T Unboxes A ‘Gears of War 3′ Xbox 360 and Lancer. Dude Rules.

September 8th, 2011 by Caffeine Powered

Ice-T is fucking awesome. Last year he unboxed Call of Duty: Black Ops, and this year he’s back at it. He unboxes a Lancer, as well as a special edition Gears of War 3-theme Xbox 360.

It’s dope.

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Cliff Bleszinski Wants To Be Known For More Than ‘Gears of War.’ Good Luck!

June 20th, 2011 by Caffeine Powered

Cliff Bleszinski, aka Dude Huge, aka Cliffy B, is the man behind Gears of War. The third installment is coming out this Fall, and by my economic measurements, it’s going to crush the ass of sales charts everywhere. Despite this, Cliffy wants to be known for more than Gears.

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‘Gears of War 3′ Teaser For Teaser Is Silly, Pointless, Real.

May 20th, 2011 by Caffeine Powered

Epic Games has released a teaser for a teaser they’ll soon be dropping for Gears of War 3. The actual promo will “debut on May 28 during the Champions League Final Match…and during Game 6 of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals in the U.S.” What I find amazing is anyone who actually gets into the storyline for the Gears of War titles. They’re a minefield of hilarious brodude conventions and dickrock tropes. In other words, I fucking love them in some ironic, but not completely ironic, self-aware, but still mouth-breathing sort of way.

Hit the jump for the teaser of the teaser.

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REVIEW: Bulletstorm

February 25th, 2011 by Caffeine Powered

[Alright, so check it. This review is by The Faux Bot and originally written for Mad Gear Solid. When I realized that I wasn't going to be able to finish the game in time, I asked him if he'd want to syndicate his shit. He said yes. Faux Bot is a genius, scholar, and friend of the site. He's also funnier than me, and Mad Gear Solid is our spiritual twin from over on the other site of the pond. So go to fucking Mad Gear Solid, or die by a flaming sword draped in profanity and hate.]

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Here is a list of some words that make me think of Bulletstorm; squelch, slam, gush, firework, meat, erupt, anal, cavity, spurt, squish, rupture, forced, insertion, sack, giblets, cram, innards, gullet, crunch, drill, impale, tear, bore, flesh, sever, penetrate. These are but a few, however, they perfectly illustrate the amusing meta-game that I’ve created inside my juvenile mind. I like to re-arrange the words as you would with those amusing novelty fridge magnets —you know the kind- so that I can make deliciously witty and outrageous phrases that help me to decide on how to orchestrate my upcoming blood-bath.FORCIBLY INSERT ANAL DRILL and it’s done.

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