Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (8.27.14) – A Proles Paradise In The Asteroid Belt

DIRTY PAWP

“It was a goddamn proles paradise”, my great-great-great-great grandson will say. He will decline to comment on how the machinery hauling ice off of the asteroids took his arm, crushing it between deadlines and an unforgiving ship hull. He will never, ever comment on how he lost his husband to a beautiful bartender and her false promises of making a new life on Mars. “It was a goddamn proles paradise”, he will repeat. Staring into the amber forgiveness of his drink. “Everyone could have a job if they wanted one”, declining to mention what those jobs were. “Everybody could make a life if they wanted one”, never actually describing what that life would be like.

But that’s another tale, for another day. All of us lead-foots here on the Blue Marble can only look forward to our great-great-great-great grandchildren and their expeditions in the Asteroid Belt with wonder. With anticipation. For us, the skies are still ceilings, and the planets still empty promises. To fulfill these yearnings we turn to narratives, to music, art, film, television, comic books.

These are the comic books I’m looking forward to this week. How about you?

Don’t know what’s coming out? Check a list of this week’s releases right here!

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R.L. Stine writing new ‘Fear Street’ books; 12 year-old me fist-pumps

Fear Street.

Sure we all loved Goosebumps, but it was R.L. Stine’s “more mature” book series Fear Street that gave me some of my earliest adolescent shocks, and boners. Now it appears that Stine is bringing the series back. Here’s to more shivers, shocks, boners, and funny feelings!

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‘Gone Girl’ TV Spot: I Better Learn My Wife’s Blood Type

Gone Girl.

I’m pretty sure in this TV spot for Gone Girl, the fact that Batman doesn’t know his wife’s blood type is used against him. Like, to prove he’s a murderer or something? Anyways, I’m pretty excited for this movie.

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Cosplay: Lady Ryu Hayabusa from ‘Ninja Gaiden’

Ryu!

Ain’t this some glorious Rule 63 Ryu Hayabusa cosplay.

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Donald Glover cast as (the voice of) Ultimate Spider-Man

Miles Morales.

This is what we call one of them mitigated victories. Prior to the Emma Stone/Marc Webb/Andrew Garfield-powered Spider-Man reboot, Donald Glover lobbied (or didn’t really lobby depending on your interpretation) for the role of Peter Parker. People like me thought it would be dope. Other people short-circuited because gosh dang it that Glover folk’s skin pigment dun match Parker’s!

Glover didn’t get to play Parker, obviously. And boo! But now he’s sort of gotten the role of Spider-Man.

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‘Interstellar’ IMAX TV Spot: 2014 goes 2001

Interstellar

Summer is over. My system has ingested about as much Guardians of the Galaxy as it can handle (and then some, five viewings!). This means that it is time for me to begin gazing into the Fall and Winter release schedule. A schedule that holds a movie particularly kind to my crotch: Interstellar. Here’s a new TV IMAX spot.

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‘Shutter Island’ becoming an HBO TV series

Shutter Island.

HBO is getting a Shutter Island series. Interesting. I guess the SHUTTERS AREN’T CLOSED on this tale just yet?!?! HAHA. Right guys? Right? Anyone?

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Amazon buying Twitch for $970 f**king million

twitch

Bet you thought Google had all that Twitch goodness tied-up, didn’t you? I certainly did, especially with Twitch’s new policies and shit smacking of draconian YouTube bullshit. But it appears that a new ch-ch-challenger has entered the capitalist arena, with Amazon winning the rights to Twitch. For $970 fucking million.

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Cosplay: Lady Sif doesn’t have time for your nonsense

Lady Sif!

Lady Sif is tired of you, human. Tired of me, too. Of our mortal squabbling. Thankfully, that doesn’t prohibit us from enjoying this cosplay of her.

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‘Better Call Saul’ Teaser: Vinny Gilligan spits about the lawyer

Vince Gilligan

This is a Better Call Saul teaser. Starring the show’s creator (along with co-creator Peter Gould, who I am admittedly ignoring the fuck out of here like an asshole). Perhaps this teaser’s existence is a testament to how forcefully Vince Gilligan has penetrated our Pop Culture Psyche. I mean. How many shows feel comfortable enough plugging themselves by just sort of letting the Venerated Creator babble about its premise? In a commercial? I reckon not many. And maybe even more important, it works! I’m sold. Let’s do this, Vincent.

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