Leonardo DiCaprio is Developing a Captain Planet Movie

captain planet movie

Leonardo DiCaprio is developing a fucking Captain Planet movie. File under: things we don’t need, may be garbage, but I’ll probably see.

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Red Dead Redemption 2 is coming Fall 2017

Red Dead Redemption 2

Red Dead Redemption 2‘s been revealed, folks. By Rockstar. Not only has it been revealed, but it’s been confirmed: we are getting a trailer on Thursday.

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Red Dead Redemption 2 Trailer Will Be Released By Thursday

Red Dead Redemption

Red Dead Redemption 2 is straight taking over the pop culture zeitgeist this week. Take this “news” for example — is it “news” that the trailer for the game is going to drop by Thursday? No? Maybe? Do I give a shit?! Fuck no! Can’t wait.

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Monday Morning Commute: I’m Broken! And Having A Good Time!

i'm broken! and having a good time!

Another dosage of the Monday Blues antidote for you, fellow OL garbage folk! Right here! Right now!

The wind whispers of blood and ill intent! Monsters on podiums, clowns in streets!!! Tedium, tedium, tedium surrounds us! Our distractions betray us, but they’re all we have. Our politicians betray us, but they’re all we have! Our bodies betray us, but they’re all we have!

Feeling down? No worries!

Another dosage of the Monday Blues antidote for you, fellow OL garbage folk! Right here! Right now!

This is M-O-N-D-A-Y M-O-R-N-I-N-G C-O-M-M-U-T-E! And so long, so long as I continue to pump blood (HOT BLOOD) and suck wind (DRY WIND), I’ll be here. Commuting physically to the indoctrination clinic that I try and subvert. Commuting electronically to the space-oasis aboard Space-Ship OMEGA via the shuddering pipes of the I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T. Bringing you my own personal panoply, baked, shredded, and snorted, that gets me through a particular week. My distractions! My anticipations! Hark, we must stare at the Tube, the Screen, the Page. Lest we stare at the corners, at the shadows, at their encroachment.

Oh, Plato! I’ll take the fucking cave. Thanks for the fire. The sky outside is a dank pall, and the folks that gaze up at it find only horror. Yes, yes, I’ll take the fucking cave.

You know how this goes, oh, you know how this goes. Follow up my own weekly wanderings with your own assortment of distractions and existential deflections in the comments section.

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Ben Affleck’s Batman Movie is shooting in Spring 2017

ben affleck batman movie

Ben Affleck’s Batman movie, also known as The DCU Movie People Want To See, finally has a start date for its shooting. Spring, 2017.

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Logan Photos reveal Stephen Merchant as Caliban

stephen merchant caliban logan

Photos from the director of Logan and from Stephen Merchant himself have revealed the actor’s role in the movie. Dude is playing Caliban! Which, I think was speculated? I can’t remember. None the less!

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Rockstar Drops Another Red Dead Redemption 2 Teaser Image. Hype GET!

red dead redemption 2 teaser

Red Dead Redemption 2 news is coming! Red Dead Redemption 2 news is coming! Today, Rockstar Games released another teaser image for the game, milking my already juicy geek-prostate.

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The Coen Brothers writing a movie about the Silk Road and Dark Web

coen brothers silk road

Fuck yeah! What’s cooler than a movie about the Dark Web? Cooler than a movie about the Silk Road, which was a haven for bitcoin boners and drug sales? A movie pertaining to all that good shit, which is being written by the Coen Brothers.

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Voltron Season 2 Trailer: Voltron (Dis)Assembled

voltron season 2 trailer

Last night, I finally finished the first season of Netflix’s Voltron resurrection. What a fucking show! What a fucking epic ass finale. I can’t wait for its return in January. And if you’re like me, gnashing your teeth in hunger, in a desire to know what’s next, maybe you’ll find solace in this trailer. Which is after the fucking jump because it keeps auto-playing what the fuck.

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Rockstar Games drops One Simple Image and sets Gaming World Buzzing

red dead redemption 2

Rockstar dropped one simple image today, and it has understandably set the world a-buzzing. Rockstar logo. Red background. Red Dead Redemption 2? No matter the case, no matter what this pertains to, one thing is certain. We are hungry. HON-GRY for some new fucking Rockstar game.

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