Space Swoon: Saturn’s moon Enceladus is a gorgeous crescent of icy fractures and furrows

saturn enceladus space image

Check out this gorgeous crescent capture of Saturn’s moon, Enceladus. That’s it, that’s all I got for you. Check it out, fuckers.

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‘Resident Evil’ movie franchise getting six-film reboot, because uh yeah wait why

resident evil six movie reboot

Resident Evil is getting itself a six-movie reboot. I’ve never been particularly *against* this franchise, having enjoyed what I’ve seen for its comically ridiculous execution. But, man. These studious really going hard with the enormity of their announcements. Six movies? Why…why don’t you take it a bit slower?

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Arnold Schwarzenegger starring in sixth ‘Terminator’ movie because hey rehash refry into eternity

arnold sixth terminator movie starring

Arnold Schwarzenegger, no longer a marketable star, will return for the sixth Terminator movie, no longer a marketable franchise. That said — here’s hoping somehow, someway, it fucking rules.

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Long and Rambling Thoughts on the ‘Destiny 2’ Reveal from a ‘Destiny’ Addict

destiny 2 bungie announcement

I and four hundred thousand of my closest strangers huddled in front of our computer screens, anxiously awaiting the reveal of a “brand new experience” that had been hyped beyond belief. While grandiose claims and clever commercials are pretty much a staple for large title releases these days, this was the first time I had been so personally affected given just how much I have been invested in the original game. To establish some context, over the last three years I have spent 2,310 hours actively playing Destiny. I have completed over 309 raids, including 242 hard raids (where you can’t be revived if you die). The real number is considerably higher, but the game only records the first time you’ve completed each raid on each character each week, so it’s missing all the raids I’ve done for no loot to help someone else. I have played 4,158 PvP matches in the Crucible, where I have killed 47,166 guardians and been killed 49,662 times. Oh, and I am the 400th ranked Sparrow Racer in the entire world. *flex* Basically, while other adults are out under that burning sky-ball thingy in the company of other human beings, I am playing Destiny.

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Tom Hardy starring in ‘Venom’ movie with ‘Zombieland’ director helming it

tom hardy venom zombieland director

I, I just don’t care Venom movie. I know that Tom Hardy is starring in it. Awesome. I know the director of Zombieland is directing it. Awesome. But, man. My apathy. How about you?

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Weekend Open Bar: Upon the gilded plains of mortality

Upon the gilded plains of mortality

My wife turns thirty this weekend, Saturday to be specific. It’s a weird sensation, knowing that she has shacked up with me for life, and been with me since she was literally twenty. Spent her golden years with a guaranteed Garbage Lord. It’s nice though, to chart our progress together, to check off life events together, and even more specifically to get high, eat cookies, and watch Workaholics together.

It’s nice, it’s quaint, it’s quiet.

I like spending time with her, and I like spending time with you folks, you denizens of the Space-Ship Omega. So let’s hang out at the Weekend Open Bar. Pass some marginal time within our comfortably marginal existences together, as we are lucky enough (or not lucky enough, the grape press of industry is whittling away our off-time) to have the next couple of days off.

So comrades, what are you doing this weekend? What are you watching? Eating? Reading? Thinking about? Anything and everything goes, so long as you adhere to the sign above the Tavern entrance: Thou Shalt Not Be A Douche.

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‘Okja’ Trailer: From the mind of ‘Snowpiercer’ comes a girl and her super pig. I’m friggin’ in

The trailer for  Bong Joon-ho’s next flick has dropped, for the movie Okja. Joon-ho is a sneaky beast of a director, with both The Host and Snowpiercer on his resume (among others). So, the wonky premise of a girl and her super pig, combined with the director, has me excited.

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‘Aquaman’ News: James Wan shares photo of Amber Heard as Mera

aquaman mera amber heard

Is this news? Naw! Fuck naw! But man, ain’t nothing truly news these days. Is this Amber Heard? Yeah! Fuck yeah! So I’m posting it.

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New ‘Life is Strange’ game is coming, confirms its developer

new life is strange game coming

Man, people loved Life is Strange. I never played that shit, because I’m a Trash Lord who spends his time grinding repetitive quests in sandbox games as a means to exert control over his own life. However, that don’t mean I don’t wish I hadn’t played the game. (Look at that fucking disgusting sentence, LOOK AT IT.) Anyways, none the less, none-the-less, nonetheless, there’s a sequel to the fan favorite in development.

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‘The Mummy’ Final Trailer: Tom Cruise and his buddy Dr. Jekyll fight monsters

The Mummy final trailer is pushing what I sort of vaguely remember was coming: an extended monsters universe. Which, uh, much like this movie, doesn’t really appeal to or excite me. But, just like this movie, I’ll probably see the flicks of this extended universe. I’m…I’m garbage.

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