Marvel teasing new ‘Civil War’ comic event. All refried everything.

wut.

The fuck? First Marvel reveals that next year Secret Wars is making a comic book event comeback. And now Marvel is teasing a new Civil War event? All the old events! Redone! Spit-shined! For our enjoyment?! Ehhh. Though I have to say this sort of makes sense in a SUPER FUCKING SYNERGY sense, since the MCU seems to be building to some form of Civil War. But still.

Hit the jump for the promo image and details.

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Monday Morning Commute: nanobot-induced autoerotics

nanbots

If there was one thing Grandpa was good for at Thanksgiving, it was sniffing a legion of nanobots before sitting down at the dinner table. There was an inevitable moment during the passing of the animal-flesh and the smashed-starches where his slackened, tired jaw would clench-up. Science retrieving something scattered decades ago by the natural progression of his Meat Case. Somewhere between that third fucking scoop of potatoes his eyes would dilate. His neck would kink. And as he tried to keep his hands from jittering upon the wooden offering-plank, a barely audible moan would escape them cracked lips.

“Oooh, the potatoes” he would murmur. False teeth clacking. “Ohhh, this turkey. Th-the gravy” he would gasp. We tried not to stare. When you’re one-hundred and thirty-four you write your own rules. None of us said a word, but we all knew the goddamn truth. That withered one man’s dick was titillated. An orgy of chemicals in his veins, an orgy of nanobots in his balls prodding his phallus into a seemingly-impossible climax.

Goddamn Grandpa and his goddamn nanobot-induced autoerotics.

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This is Monday Morning Commute. Share what you’re up to this week.

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Dave (f**king DRAX) Bautista cast as ‘Bond 24′ villain

NOTHING

Good for fucking Dave Bautista, man. Dude was one of the biggest surprises in Guardians of the Galaxy for me, proving to be more than an ass-kicking wunderkind. Then news broke that he’s going to be all up in Avengers 3. And now the dude is going to be holding it down as the villain in Bond 24. Wonderful news for the Beefy One.

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‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ screenwriter Nicole Perlman to pen ‘Gamora’ comic series

Gamora.

Gamora is the latest character from Guardians of the Galaxy: Death to Grimdark to get her own ongoing comic book series. Dope! Doubly dope? The comic is going to be written by Nicole Perlman, who was the screenwriter for the flick. Details and the full cover for #1 after the jump.

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NASA thinking about deep-sleep option for Mars crew

cryosleep

Goddamn! Sign me the fuck for going to Bradbury’s Bastion. Apparently NASA is thinking about a deep-sleep option for the crew heading to Mars. Which frankly is probably nothing. ‘Cause like I’m sure they’re thinking about a lot of options. But still. I’m going to pretend it’s happening. Always wanted to be on that cryo-sleep tip.

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Rumor: Brainiac is totally villain in ‘Justice League’ movie

Brainiac

Who is going to be the Big Bad that galvanizes the superheroes of the DCU into one hot, throbbing package? If you believe this rumor — Brainiac.

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Brian Wood taking over ‘Spawn’ with 250th issue with Jonboy Meyers on art.

The Return.

I haven’t enjoyed (or more specifically, read) Spawn for like…half a lifetime. Literally. I’m thirty-one. I fucking worshipped it when I was probably fifteen. But man. When I loved that comic, I fucking *loved* it. Same goes for Sam and Twitch when Bendis was penning it. But yeah. Like. Half a life has passed and the question has been, “what could ever get me to read the title again?” I’ve found the answer. Brian Wood.

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Marvel drops first official look at Matt Murdock and Daredevil from the TV Show

Daredevil.

Marvel’s done some Daredevil official revealing. And FUCKING THEN SOME. (What does that mean? I’m not sure.) Today at NYCC the company dropped official images of Charlie Cox not only as Matt Murdock, but also one of him in his first Man Without Fear gear.

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‘LEGO Movie’ Batman is getting his own spin-off movie.

Batman

The incarnation of Batman from LEGO Movie is getting his own spin-off flick. How do I feel about this wonderful ancillary character being spun-off into his own movie? I’m not really sure.

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This Dusty Spiral Galaxy just chillin’ in Virgo

Dusty Spiral!

This goddamn dusty spiral galaxy is gorgeous! A veritable fucking chilling ground for stars. Either being born, or just livin’ out the middle of their lives. You know. Sipping space margaritas. Talking about the good old days.

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