Weekend Open Bar: Pretty Much A Big Deal

prettymuch

Oh fuck! It’s Friday! Oh fuck! The semester is over! Which means this is a very special edition of Weekend Open Bar, the column where we come together to chat during the weekend. The column where we share our plans, our eats, our gifs, our drunken musings.

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YESYESYES: Nate Simpson announces “Nonplayer’ #2 is finished

Nonplayer

OH SWEET BABY ZEUS RIDING A UNICORN. The second issue of Nate Simpson’s Nonplayer is officially in the bag. And if that doesn’t excite you, up your fucking game. No seriously it was pretty easy to miss. But this is dope.

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Microsoft now accepting Bitcoin for games, music, more. Cryptolicious.

Steve Ballmer is ready.

What the fuck is Cryptolicious? A man’s fried brain desperately trying to come up with a title. That same man’s brain failing. But efforting anyways, promising itself it’ll at least keep functioning until the large chicken parmesan calzone arrives. Soon: food. But now: cryptocurrency news.

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‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ character names revealed in dope old trading cards fashion

the force awakens

The Marketing Gurus at Disney-Star-Wars corp have dropped an initial slurry of Episode VII character names on our asses. And they’ve done it in a bit of a genius way. The names are revealed on old “trading cards” the company provided to Entertainment Weekly. Take the names for what they are. Both Boyega and Riddle’s character cards don’t feature last names. So there’s something Abrams afoot. (If her last name isn’t Organa or Solo I’ll eat my fucking shoe.) Anyways.

Dope!

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Sony Hack: ’22 Jump Street’ sequel could team-up with “Men In Black’

22 Jump Street

It’s 12:09 on Thursday morning. That means this particular morsel of Sony Leakgate has been out for a day. Or roughly 3,000,000 years in Internet Time. BUT FUCK IT. I RUN THIS ROOST. And this roost wants to talk about the absurd glory that would be this team-up movie.

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Marvel and Sony discussed Spider-Man for ‘Captain America: Civil War’, Sony blew it up.

Amazing Spider-Man 2.

Sony, who can’t see to do fucking anything right according to all the treasure troves of leaked emails, rebuffed Marvel’s advances regarding their arachnid superhero. Despite burying Parker in the fucking melange of fecal matter, peppered with bits of corn and overwrought sentiment known as Amazing Spider-Man 2, Sony didn’t see the obvious benefit that would befall their franchise should Spider-Man appear in a legitimate Marvel movie.

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‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ Trailer: Fire & Blood

Fury Road.

This movie looks to be out of its fucking mind. Like, the visuals alone will carry the flick to glory if it can deliver even a semblance of a fucking coherent plot.

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‘Star Wars’ #1 is going to sell over one-million copies.

Star Wars.

Next month Star Wars #1 is dropping on shelves, kicking off Marvel’s newly formed alliance with The Force. I had sort of expected it to sell a good amount, but apparently the fucker is going to be the highest selling comic in twenty years.

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‘Inherent Vice’ Trailer: Paranoia-Laden Nose Picking

Inherent Vice.

Can this movie just come out now? Maybe? Please?

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Awesome: ‘Ms. Marvel’ writer G. Willow Wilson signs exclusive Marvel contract

Ms. Marvel #7.

Normally I’d be all bummed out about a creator I love signing an exclusive contract with one of the Big Two. You know. Can’t do their own thing. Playing around with someone else’s mythos. Blah blah blah. But I’m bipolar, and I’m also happy G. Willow Wilson has been rewarded for the sheer wonderful nature of her writing.

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