#April2021

Russell Crowe Drops That He’s Playing Zeus in ‘Thor: Love and Thunder’ and I’m Completely In

russell crowe zeus thor love and thunder

I had completely fucking forgotten that Russell Crowe was in Thor: Love and Thunder. But now the dude himself has reminded me with his reveal that he’s playing Zeus in the flick. All of this shit sounds good to me!

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‘NOAH’ Super Bowl Teaser Trailer: Angels, Rain, and Yelling. Lots Yelling.

Noah.

Protect this! Protect that! Load the fucking unicorns! Blah, blah! War movie meets God meets ecological disaster flick. I don’t know what the fuck is going on in Noah, and I definitely don’t know how this is in Darren Aronofsky’s wheelhouse.

None the less. Hit the jump. Watch the teaser. Let me know what you think.

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‘NOAH’ TRAILER: It looks…LIKE A DISASTER #Rimshot

Noah.

…opph. Take that headline off the berries. So yeah. I know this isn’t new, but I figured I would post it here. Aronofsky has consumed a decent amount of bandwidth on the site, and thus neglected this uh, creation, seemed a bit remiss.

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New ‘MAN OF STEEL’ images feature Supes’ latex dong cradle, and more!

OH HEY IT IS THAT GUY.

From now on, that is what I’m calling the region of every superhero’s outfit that gently holds their package. Their dong cradle. ‘Cause as you’ll see, Supes’ outfit is gingerly cradling his super-children. Just waiting to doff the outfit, and unfurl the silent terror. I’m not sure what I’m talking about anymore. I just like using the phrase “dong cradle.” Try it.

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Russell Crowe says Superman goes ‘SUPER SONIC’ in new film, makes me want ‘MAN OF STEEL’ a lot.

Man of Steel.

The world no longer makes sense. Yesterday, I rode my dog around the block. You wouldn’t believe what I saw. A grandmother, wearing a Barry Hussein Is The Jihad t-shirt, breaking her teeth on a piece of frozen pizza. The world no longer makes sense. It is only in this sort of world where I can be sweating Man of Steel so hard.

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Russell Crowe wants to direct a BILL HICKS BIOPIC. This will be uh, interesting.

The William Hicks biopic is getting off the ground, apparently, and Crowe is aiming to direct it. I had no idea that Russell Crowe wanted to make a Bill Hicks movie, let alone that he was a fan of the mad genius.

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‘MAN OF STEEL’ TEASER TRAILER: I hate that I don’t hate this.

I caught this Man of Steel trailer prior to my viewing of Dark Knight Rises, and now it is online for the rest of the world to see. My main problem with this teaser trailer is that I actually find it enjoyable. This can only be setting me up for the inevitable disappointment of experiencing yet another Zack Snyder flick. Right? Fuck, I hope I’m wrong.

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‘MAN OF STEEL’ FOOTAGE and NEW POSTER Debut at Comic-Con. Check them out right hurr.

Man of Steel footage dropped. Here’s some collated reactions, plus a new poster.

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Eli Roth To Direct ‘HARKER’ With Russell Crowe As Dracula. This Sort Of Sucks.

I just spent two weeks in grad school learning about the awesomeness that is Dracula. One of the things I took away from it was how the original work has been beaten into paste and abused by pop culture. Eli Roth intends on continuing this trend.

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Russell Crowe Locked In For Aronofsky’s ‘NOAH’, Set To Film In July.

Russell Crowe seems like a sturdy son of a bitch who could both build something and drink too much. This makes him the perfect Noah, a factoid which didn’t escape Darren Aronofsky. The director has paused for long enough from directing J. Lo in nauseating Kohl’s commercials long enough to land a lead man for his bio-disaster-bibilical-journey Noah.

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