I say, goddamn. Talk about the long game. After five-years, Metal Gear Solid V has achieved nuclear disarmament which triggered a secret cutscene. Shit was done on the PS3, whose player base has dwindled to the point of making it possible. However, still fucking impressive.

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Oh word?! Metal Gear Rising Raiden: The Devil May Cry Chronicles is getting a sequel! Interesting. I didn’t ever get down with the original Metal Gear Rising. Wasn’t a conscious decision to ignore the game, though. In fact, more than one friend was all “bruh, stop stroking it to promo stills of The Rock from Furious 6 and check this game out.”

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Hideo Kojima is many things. Fan of eye-rolling, bloated philosophical cut scenes. Master of the Metal Gear kingdom. Perpetual tease. But now! Now I say dare friends, he is a liar.

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Hideo Kojima is searching for a crew of video gaming peoples to overhaul his iconic Metal Gear Solid using the Fox Engine. Fuck yes. I will take that for a dollar! Or twenty! However many of them there dollars it takes to control Snake on the cinematic masterpiece that kick started a series revival.

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Go figure. There’s going to be a new Metal Gear Solid. Who knows what’s going to be going on in it, but Jesus Christ someone get that mustache off of Solid.

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Konami is striving to blow some assholes out today with their announcements. Not only did they announce more Contra up in the  hacienda, they also announced that they’re dropping MGS, SH, and ZOE HD collections into our gaping gaming gullets.

Konamiphiles, you’re going to need to lube that or you’ll rub it raw until it flakes.

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Oh, Hideo Kojima. Only you, of all people, would somehow end up on the internet shirtless. I don’t know if the Patriots put you up to it, of it you were just trying to infiltrate some panties – while obviously reading something by Murakami, Descartes, or General Patton or something. But these pictures are so win that it hurts.

Kudos do you, good sir.

[ source : all games beta ]

Oh, just simply fuck you Japan. No, seriously. You lucking sons a bitches.

Here are two of my favorite things in the world, Mountain Dew and Metal Gear, slammed into a singular orgy of awesomeness. I need this so bad I’m considering importing it. Then I’ll hide in a cardboard box and pound them one after another, while someone sits outside the box and reads some philosophical slop that Kojima would pen into the game in some nonsensical and overly long cinematic.

Remember guys, when rival developer teams engage in a cock-measuring contest, there’s only one outcome for the gamers: Awesomeness.

Apparently the teams behind Metal Gear Solid: Rising for the 360/PS3 and Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker for the PSP aren’t too fond of one another. Why’s that? Take it away, Kojima:

“The reason why I say they are not good friends is because the PSP is working day and night to make it even better than MGS4, but of course they can’t do it because of a lot of restrictions,” he tells Gamepro. “On the other hand, the Rising team is using loads of money and loads of capacity and hardware specs.”

The Peace Walker bros are constrained to budgets and other logical concepts. However the MGS: Rising team probably spends the equivalent of the Peace Walker budget just modeling Raiden’s fruity ninja-stripper boots. I can only imagine how much money the Rising team has just spent on tickle-fights and other getaway retreats shooting guns and building absurdity Post-Modern Paper-Mache monuments to Hideo Kojima.

Hopefully their utter disdain for one another pushes them both into making ballin’ games. I’ve never owned a PSP, but with Kojima jacking off over how awesome Peace Walker is going to be, picking up the portable continues to tempt me. Now, back to the cock-measuring!