I’m getting real shit at publishing a weekend column at the start of the weekend. Man! Fuck! But yesterday was busy, hopscotching from work, to dinner with a mentor, to an entire bag of Sour Patch Watermelons, to staring at the IdiotBox for three or so hours. I’m here now, though, and I’m hoping I can lure you in as well! This is Weekend Open Bar, the weekly column where we all hang out.
Ain’t no commuting for me, today! Remember how last Friday I mentioned that I called an audible and opted-out of commuting in the fucking snow? Well — today — the UniversityCzars saw fit to pull the plug on the school day. I don’t know if it has anything to do (I imagine it doesn’t, but it’s hilarious to track the students’ apoplexy on the social media platform) with the countless caterwauling of students towards them on Twitter for not cancelling Friday, but the school did it. No school. No commute. Just me, my unwashed ass, and the dim glow of the ForeverBox pumping in the EndlessEchoChamberof(Non)News and Banality. Maybe a dog walk (or two). Relaxing. Wife’s home, too. I’ll take these Circumstances.
However! Just because I ain’t commuting today, don’t mean that I don’t have to share with you what I’m up to this week! So this is still Monday Morning Commute!
It’s the freakin’ weekend, baby! It’s Weekend Open Bar, baby! At least for me. Hitting a bit early, too. Goddamn first significant snow storm of the year is currently rampaging its way through the guts of Massachusetts’ coast, and yet! And yet! My fucking university didn’t cancel class. All the schools-universities-establishments-basement latex fuck dungeons are closed for the day! But not mine. Not even though it’s a fucking commuter school. So I called an audible and canceled my class, myself.
Ain’t no way I’m taking my 2007 Civic with its bald ass tires and death-wish (it has told me after three years of me sneezing on it, farting in, and vaguely rubbing my penis in traffic while driving in it, that it longs for oblivion) onto these terrible roads.
The Weekend Open Bar. The old haunt of the Omegaverse’s New Scum. Where every weekend we can pry off our masks, slip off our gloves, and commune for a couple of days. We gather, away from the back-breaking SpiceMines, the porcelain shit thrones that must be shined, from the glue factory and the Dagobah Diners. We gather here.
This is Weekend Open Bar. Where we get together and share what we are up to during a given weekend. What we are going to watch, eat, play, contemplate. Here, let me share.
I have felt like a Man Unmoored this year. Not Billy Pilgrim levels, but close. Ian Omega has come unstuck in Existence. I am a man of routine, I find comfort in it. Every day I stop at the same convenience store on the way to work. I buy the same exact thing. Every weekend morning I take the same car ride, before going to the gym. I enjoy doing the same exact thing every Saturday with Bateman. I like familiarity. I like the banal. I am a boring man, but it works for me.
Some froggy fresh artwork from TJ Townsend, who has reimagined Mega Man X as a modern game. I find it particularly sweet, since the aforementioned title has been owning me on a weekly basis. Goddamn, MMX is difficult. Goddamn, I need to try it sober.
There’s a video of the art’s creation, too! After the jump.
New trailer for Mighty No. 9, hitting at a time when I’m still trying to work my way through Mega Man X. Holy futz, that game is unforgiving. But hey! Have this trailer.
It’s the Weekend, baby! That means that the labor union-earned two day siesta is kicking off for the lot of us lucky to not have that privilege extracted by the PowersThatBe that RunOurJobs. #PoliticalPosturing #IActuallyStandForNothingTho. Anyways! That can only mean one thing around here! Jerking off and wearing sweatpants all day, while hoping our spouses don’t hear our tears!
Man! Been a minute since I opened my door here on the Space-Ship Omega. Specifically because when I’ve had time, I’ve been wandering the Wasteland, post-Vault Door. But how about when I haven’t been? I’ve been grading papers, hanging out with the Wife and friends, grading papers, working. And I don’t know about you folks, but I’ve noticed something.
Man, it’s the Weekend. And not a moment too soon. Just a tiring week. Or more specifically, a week filled with duties that weren’t Fallout 4. So many duties that weren’t Fallout 4. However, the Weekend has arrived, I’m raising the shutters on the Open Bar, and my reunion with Bethesda’s Latest Baby is looming. I’m up to a bunch of other stuff this weekend, too. You know, grading papers, playing Mega Man X with Bateman, maybe watching the latest Ronda Rousey fight. Some Eating Too Much. Some Football. And most importantly! Hanging out with you here at the Weekend Open Bar.