Jupiter had something seriously huge smash into it on Wednesday. The Cosmos don’t give a shit about us!
I’ve long known that Jupiter serves as a bulwark for the rest of the solar system. Eating some tremendously large objects to protect the rest of it. Whelp, Wednesday night? Something seriously huge smashed into the planet. This all, you know, underscores the importance of getting humans spread across the solar system. Diversify our asses for when Earth inevitably takes one right off the chin.
Question: Can there be too many pictures of Jupiter’s Great Red Spot? Answer: fucking of course not.
Goddamn glorious picture right here of Jupiter’s clouds. Props to you, Juno!
Jupiter’s Moon Europa got the right kinda of water to support life. So. Well. You got that shit or not, Europa?
Jupiter’s Moon Europa got that salty water underneath its surface. Which, apparently, is the right kind of water to support life. Like, nice! Now, let’s see if it actually has it.
Jupiter’s Great Red Spot? That motherfucking storm on the planet that’s bigger than Earth? Yeah, it’s currently unraveling.
Yo, Jupiter! Fucking chill, bro. Apparently you may be cracking your moon Europa with your tremendous magnetic field. Which, okay I’ll grant you, is pretty fucking bad ass.
Space, is in fact, the motherfucking place.
Jupiter’s moon Europa got five-story spikes of ice. Sounds dope, makes landing on the moon a pain in the ass
Space is fucking metal, my dudes. Jupiter’s moon Europa has got five-story spikes of ice! This sounds fucking dope! However, it makes the prospect of landing on Europa decidedly more difficult.
Jupiter, that Big fucking Bastard Gas Giant, has gained another twelve fucking moons.
Check out Jupiter’s meaty southern hemisphere! I don’t know, there’s probably a better, more puerile pun, but it’s hot out and I’m tired.