#November2016

Tuesday Evening Commute: Born Of The Bomb

born of the bomb

It’s Tuesday, Tuesday Evening. I’m writing what was supposed to be Monday, Monday Morning Commute. The clock ticks towards quarter of 6pm, Eastern Seaboard of the Empire Standard. I have approximately 23 minutes to file this, to fart it, to fecal-blast this shinformation onto your digital face. Before! Before my next obligation. I’ve been wearing the same dress pants for ten hours, I’m tired, my caffeine levels are precariously low, and I have so much goddamn wood to chop before I sleep.

But I’m happy, happy to generate this minuscule bubble of textual diarrhea. This minuscule raft in the shitty seas of oblivion that seem to constitute this year, this 2016 A.D. Come friends, come quickly. Ignore my purple-headed boner, I merely have to pee. Come friends, come quickly. Ignore the wild look in eyes, I’m merely between my past caffeine fix and my next.

Come friends, come quickly. Join me on this raft, cling to it with me. Nay, cling to it for me.

This is Tuesday Evening Commute. This is what I’m looking forward to this week. Please, I implore, I beseech, I cajole. Please, join me in the comments section. Let me know what you’re indulging in this week.

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Comic Book Sales are the Highest they’ve been in 20 Years

saga

I’m not an economist, I’m too lazy to really dig in-depth into what this news means, so I’m just going to make like a good Millennial. Read the headline, browse the content, and fit the story to my own agenda. Comic books are doing well, fuck yeah!

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‘Destiny: Rise of Iron’ Reveal Trailer: Dropping September 20 on PS4 and XB1

Bungie has dropped official details for the previously leaked but unofficially announced expansion for Destiny, Rise of Iron.

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Monday Morning Commute: The Future Is A 55-Inch TV

downloadingdownloadingdownloading

This is the Future. I’m talking to you, whomever you are, through a screen. This is the Future. I’m watching Wrestling on my 55-inch TV, and Basketball on my 17 -inch computer screen. At the same time. This is the Future. I’m doing all of this while my wife browses the Universe on an implement (under the antiquated titled of a “phone”) that can fit in her hand. If Gibson is right, and the Future is Here, but not Evenly Distributed, it’s certainly Arrived At My House.

This is the Future, and I want to spend it on the Space-Ship Omega. Here. In Monday Morning Commute. Telling you what I’m looking forward to this week.

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Views From The Space-Ship: The Red-Armed Riots of 20XX

the view view view

Welcome to the latest installment of View From The Space-Ship. A column where the denizens of the Space-Ship OMEGA can check out the various views from my compartment as we hurdle through time and space. Then if they’re so inclined, they can post their own Existences Writ Digital. It’s up to you! No worries either way (Just don’t let me down).

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Art: Press Start To Submit to the Astronaut Space Invaders

‘Fantastic Four’ Official Trailer: Consequences & Sacrifices

I don’t know if this movie is going to be any good, even after watching this first trailer. I will say that Michael B. Jordan activating his powers was dope, and I still really like the cast they assembled. Especially after watching Whiplash and Toby Kebbell’s episode of Black Mirror this past Holiday.

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Monday Morning Commute: Who needs long weekends?

whoneeds

Hey friends. Today was a rockier commute than usual. The long, long weekend giving way to a long, long drive into Boston. Long, long silences when I tried to drag effort out of my students like poison from a wound. But I can’t blame them, because fuck this semester has been going on for a long, long three months. My head is pounding. My stomach is seething after a day of daring to fill it with food products that are neither slathered in gravy, nor cheese. Still. The Column-Spice must flow.

So.

These — these are the various things I’m looking forward to this week. That I shall latch onto, not unlike a tick. And hopefully suck the life-blood out of, allowing me to not call out sick. Which would follow with me festering under a blanket. Eating my weight in Laffy Taffy. I can do this. You can do this. We can do this.

Welcome to Monday Morning Commute.

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DANNY DORITO is the Übermensch

Danny fucking Dorito

I don’t know who made this, or what it’s for, but I applaud it. Our future is bright, as we ride on the coattails of the Übermensch. Danny Dorito.

‘STAR WARS: RECLAMATION’ is either NEW CARTOON or UTTER BUNK. What think you?

Reclamation Wars.

Here is a new Star Wars rumor. A sleuth upon the International Movie Database has uncovered a trove of documents purporting to detail the new cartoon in Uncle George’s Former Empire. Take a look at the deets, and then let me know what you think.

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