The opening trailer for the recent Playstation 5 reveal caused a brief flicker of excitement as the Rockstar logo appeared; finally, surely this is it, a new Grand Theft Auto game to welcome in the next-generation? Excitement quickly turned to apathy and disappointment amongst many expectant fans as it became apparent that Grand Theft Auto V, first released in 2013 on PS3, was receiving yet another remaster for a next-gen console. Grand Theft Auto Online continues to be a cash cow for Rockstar which they simply won’t stop milking, but how can its enduring popularity be explained?
I generally fucking hate Year-End Best Of lists. They invariably turn into nitpicking, criticizing, and semantics. That fucking word, “Best.” Who gives a shit what was best? I don’t. So instead, at the end of this year, I’m presenting to you my favorites in pop culture. And I hope that this list can kickstart some friendly banter and sharing of our enjoyments, as opposed to bitching, moaning, and arguing. Liking shit is dope, and these are the shits I liked the most.
It’s Monday Morning Commute! Er. It’s Tuesday Afternoon Commute! How you folks doing? Me? I’m on my first day of break. And honestly I feel like I should be enjoying it more than I am. As a man of routine, the obliteration of my Daily Planner leaves me confused. Lost. Should I be productive and write? Or consume 3,000 calories? Go to the gym? Or play nine hours of Grand Theft Auto 5? My penchant is a predilection for self-destruction. So here are the various things I’m relying on to keep me (somewhat) functioning this week.
Grand Theft Auto 5 is one of the releases I’m anticipating most this Fall for Gen8 consoles. Such is the state of the console generation at this point. Remasters and third-party titles not exclusive to this generation. But let me stop myself, lest I complain too much. Because I am very excited for this title, which I never got to play last year. Read the rest of this entry »
My neon-lit, arcade childhood was a world where winners didn’t do drugs and the baddest kind of dudes were the ones that ended up rescuing the president. A generation of regular Snake Plisskens. Now, one of the most anticipated games of the entire generation looms on the horizon, but GTA V isn’t offering us the chance to be a hero, rather, it’s giving us the chance to be the criminal badass of our dreams. There’s no denying it: being a criminal is a shit-load of fun.
Grand Theft Auto V has been delayed, thereby causing like, more than several people to frown. Oh lord, if you could see these frowns. The people don’t even respect themselves, drooling half-chewed pizza and such all over their t-shirts. Embarrassing. C’mon guys, it is just a game.
The drums of war go boom-boom or something, heralding the approach of the next GTA. These drums bring with them promotional leaks and posters for those who are interested. I assume you are interested.
Vroom! Vroom! That’s the awful-pun sounds of Grand Theft Auto V‘s marketing campaign kicking off. Ain’t never been no sacred cows in the line of this franchise, and now it appears that Scientology will be getting dragged through the mud in the fifth installment. Fantastic.
You want two screenshots from Grand Theft Auto V? You got it dude.
Some wizard analyst is predicting that Grand Theft Auto V: Still Poorly Influencing Children is going to drop in the first of quarters, 2012+1. It will also sell a lot. Go figure.