Oh yeah, motherfuckers! It’s time for high fiving, and high flying! At least for Bateman and me! Tomorrow night we’re going to a Halloween party, and with the lede in mind, you can guess who we are going as! And I’ll confess, I’ve never been closer to having a mustache. And I’ll confess, it terrifies me.
If you’re good, you’ll get pictures. Unless it terrifies you as well, in which you’ll get pictures if you sin.
Anyways! Anyways. This is Weekend Open Bar! It’s the hangout that hits every weekend, imploring you to spend some time with me aboard the Space-Ship Omega.
You know how fucking long OL has been around? This ain’t the first time I’ve used “Please Stand By” as a MMC title. That said, it felt apropos as fuck, so I’m rolling with it. As well, I must confess, I didn’t realize I was reusing it until the url generator inserted a 2, but here we are.
Straight-up? I miss you fucks! The semester hit, and blammo! I fucking disappeared in a cloud of dust. I suppose it’s to be expected, but I suppose I don’t think it’s acceptable.
Oh sure, I share articles. And, like, one or two of you appear to comment. But, a good old-fashioned fucking Monday Morning Commute where we hang out? Shoot the shit about what we’ve been enjoying? Been too long. Far, far too fucking long.
So, I hope you meanderers, lurkers, and longtime friends come out in the comments section!
Here’s what I’ve been digging since the last installment.
I’m one of those generic-ass motherfuckers who really enjoys Spooky Season, friends. Though, I ain’t alone it seems. There seems to have been a real surge in the amount of people appreciating Autumn. Maybe it’s because we, as a culture, are embracing the end of all things. The North is melting. The forests are burning. Fascists run rampant in governments. What does that leave us to do?
Worship skulls. Stick dead leaves in our ass and scream at the infinite void. And, spend time with one another. A community of those if not eagerly, at least expectantly, awaiting the Eschaton.
Anyways! Welcome to these parts. Here? It’s Monday Morning Commute! The rundown of what we’re all looking forward in a given week. Aside from, of course, the End of All Things.
So come one! Come all! Let’s hang out.
I’ll go first.
Oh fuck! I’m a day late! But, is forgiveness offered because it’s a long weekend? Please, forgive me! Seriously though, I’m here! Here now. Here ready to party. Here ready to talk about whatever you wanna talk about. After all, that’s the point of Weekend Open Bar! To shoot the weekend shit with the other denizens of Space-Ship Omega! Let’s talk, fuckers!
Wanna talk prostate orgasms? I’m here.
Wanna talk Sam Esmail’s latest auteur masterpiece Homecoming? I’m here.
Wanna talk Red Dead Redemption 2? I’m here.
Anything and everything goes here within these madness-slickened walls.
Man, fuck the winter. I have always romanticized, and quite frankly enjoyed, the winter. But not this year, friends. Not this year at all. I can’t handle the barren HellScape this year. Whereas in past I rejoiced in scaling it with snowbeast in tow, this year it’s just a reminder of the fact that it isn’t May. But it’s not the physical hardships that have me ground down. I can do the cold and the snow.
It’s the emotional. More than usual, my brain-veins are struggling to pump. I can reason with the weather, but I can’t reason with the malaiseyonnaise struggling to course through the meat-electricity of my flesh-bag. So, I must confess I just haven’t been able the mental wherewithal to write this son of a bitch.
But, I’m here now! So, while whatever chemicals are sloshing around relatively favorably in my body, I shall let you know what I’m looking forward to this week. Or rather since it’s Wednesday, what I’m looking forward to, and what I’ve been enjoying.
This is Monday Morning Commute.
By way of Wednesday afternoon.
Man. If you only knew how much time I burned through looking for a header image for this post. If you only knew how much time I burned through trying to come up with a title for this post. But here I am, folks. Opening up the Weekend Open Bar for one and all.
Now. I’m covered in sweat, lowered in the couch, delayed in showering before this evening’s activities.
Later. I’ll be covering myself in crumbs, lowering myself in the couch, consuming media with Bateman.
You. What are you doing tonight? Saturday? This weekend? What are you playing? Eating? Watching? Reading? Contemplating?
Somehow. It’s time for yet another Weekend Open Bar.
It’s the fucking weekend, baby!
Not a minute too soon, not a moment too early. Caught myself some Blade Runner 2049 last night (it’s fucking amazing), and it was worth it! But goddamn, did I ever mentally and physically pay the Iron Price for it. No sleep, very little sleep, what sleep was had was shoddily attained that.
It’s the fucking weekend, baby!
The March of the Monsters.
It will reach its first crescendo, as they slither into the symbolic house of power this week. Here they come! Ancient ones! With gnarled fangs protruding from ruptured sockets. Here they come! With blasphemous sores upon oozing phalanges! Gnashing and beying for the life-force of the wounded, the wearied. Here they come! Tentacles and ill-intent! Here they come! Smashing and ripping and devouring. Here they come! Blood in their eyes, death in their mouths! Here they come!
What can you do? Shelter-in-place! Here! At the Space-Ship Omega! In this here post! Monday Morning Commute! By way of Tuesday Afternoon. Where we share what we’re doing this week, what we’re looking forward to this week. You know, when we’re not preparing the survival kits, building the house-sized umbrellas to shield our domiciles from the shrapnel borne out of shorn blood-meat from conquered deities.
The March of the Monsters.
Welcome, fellow travellers! Welcome here to the Open Bar, upon the Space-Ship Omega! I #cantstop and I #wontstop the cheesy, but ultimately enjoyable (for me) conceit! You know, the one about this website being a Space-Ship. You know, the one about us being denizens of a shuddering, weathered, but comforting hunk of self-propelling space-junk amid the abyss of the internet cosmos.
As I said, it’s comforting.
The bar is open early, friends. It’s Thanksgiving Eve here on the eastern arm of the Empire. I’m blessed enough to have the rest of the week off. So why not let the Asgardian ale flow already? So why not let the Martian space spice be smoked already? I have no good reasons for why not to, I have no good explanations. All I know is that life is too short, too vicious for even the most blessed, to not seize upon moments of revelry with you and yours.
Weekend Open Bar on a Wednesday evening.