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I’m losing my cool, man. Come in and lose your cool with me, if you’re so inclined.

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Rendar, Bateman, Riff and I trudged out in the cold and snow this morning. Spent $7. Sat through a litany of trailers. And finally got to watch the eighty-eight second Force Awakens teaser. Promptly left the fucking theater. It was probably the highlight of my year. Old school aesthetics, the fucking Falcon, fucking John Boyega, a fucking Sith, fucking FUCK. Yes. Fuck. Fuck.

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This Friday, Disney is cloaking the goddamn fucking Earth in Star Wars. Much like how The Force cloaks, binds, and nuzzles up against the Universe. Not only are they rolling out the Force Awakens trailer in a goddamn fuck ton of theaters, they’re also posting the piggie online.

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It appears that Regal Cinemas just decided to fuck up my fanboy morning with anxiety. I was like, nine fucking theaters? One fucking chain? I was already planning fucking road trips and shit. But naw, they just dropped the news early. Multiple movie chains shall be carrying The Force Awakens’ first trailer. Thank fuck.

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It’s been confirmed! There are going to be some giant fucking star fields in Episode VII.

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Here’s one way to confirm that the Millennium Falcon is going to be in S7ar Wars: Episode 7 – Don’t Call It A Comeback (But Maybe Call It A Cash Grab). The fucking Falcon dinged out Old Man Ford today while on set. More like HAN OHNOMYFUCKINGANKLE amirite? #selfhate #poortaste #inappropriateiknow

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I’ll cop to it. I haven’t seen 12 Years A Slave yet. So I don’t know first-hand how good of an actress Lupita Nyong’o happens to be. However, I do know what she won a fucking Oscar, and multiple friends are enamored with her. So I’m more than happy to justify my excitement at her joining the cast of Episode VII (potentially) with those two reasons.

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I don’t really give a fuck about the titles for any Star Wars movie. If I’m being frank, the only one that really is entrenched in my heart is Empire Strikes Back. So while these two working titles don’t do anything for me (and they may not stick), I don’t really put much stock in their importance.

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Disney ain’t just buying Star Wars, they are making fucking moves. They aren’t just spitting about Episode VII, they’ve already got a treatment for the bastard done. Woah.

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