#April2020

Weekend Open Bar: Dr. Fauci’s Houseparty!

weekend open bar dr faucis house party (1)

We’re all living within Dr. Fauci’s houseparty, baby! I got to say, fucking kudos to the absolute force of a man. Being able to persuade the Rotten Orange into issuing decrees (albiet tardily) that he clearly didn’t want to is impressive. Will he win the push for a federal lockdown? Who knows! But, dude has clearly persuaded most states into chilling at home. If I’m even half as cogent as dude is at the age of 79, I’ll consider if a flat-out, nipple-stiffening victory. As an aside, man, can you really contemplate what your nipples and genitals are going will like at that age? Fauci, though? I bet dude has huge balls, though. Cannonballs.

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Monday Morning Commute: An Explosive-Tipped Arrow to Our Mutual Malaise

monday morning commute an explosive tipped arrow

Hey, friends! Welcome to another edition of Monday Morning Commute, within the current pandemically painful climate! I must confess, these posts are a bit difficult to write as of late. Not that I don’t want to hang with you all — in fact, I think that may be the primary reason I churn them out at all. Rather, it’s just deeply, deeply difficult for me to concentrate on anything days. One minute I’ll be cruising along the highway of Vibe City, and the next I’m contemplating society, the health of my friends, and the health of my wife’s employment and my own. But, what the fuck can you do? Cave? No way! Instead, we must make like Rambo.

That’s right. Strip off our shirts, oil up our bodies, and launch explosive-tipped arrows at our malaise. Let our hair be as beautiful as him, and let our aim be as true.

I’ll go first! Join me in the comments.

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‘DOOM Eternal’ had best launch in franchise history. Rip and fucking tear the sales charts!

doom eternal best launch franchise history

DOOM Eternal is equal parts fun and frustrating for me. I think I may be too old for its twitchiness, but I think I’m just dealing with a steep fucking learning curve. That said, I’m glad that it had the best launch in franchise history. Such brutality and unapologetic heavy metal thunder needs to be rewarded.

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Weekend Open Bar: Ooh, LA LA, (ah, oui oui)

weekend open bar ooh la la

By god! It’s the Weekend! But, what the fuck is the weekend during The Plague? A valid question, honestly. Maybe a lazy question, too. ‘Cause despite working from home, I’ve been goddamn busy. So this weekend is going to be a nice respite from the hectic work schedule.

Get in a little gaming.

Smoke a little weed.

Hang with you fuckers on the stream.

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Monday Morning Commute: Demons Begone!

monday morning commute demons begone

Great glorious fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to be working. But, today I returned to teaching from Spring Break. And granted, I’m pretty fucking depressed that it’s virtual. At the same time, though, I feel as though I had purpose for the first time in weeks.

You know, like healthy purpose.

Not the sort of purpose that just has you existentially laying in the fetal position (last week). Or, eating two pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, because fuck it (last night).

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Weekend Open Bar: At Doom’s Gate With Friends!

weekend open bar at dooms gate with friends

We’re at Doom’s Gate, motherfuckers! But, we’re in it together. I know it seems like small potatoes, but this week has at least felt like a communal panic. It sounds absurd, but it’s nice to feel closer to the communities I’m belong to, and my friends. If we’re on the Titanic, at least we’re all waltzing together, no?

So, let’s waltz here! At the Weekend Open Bar! It’s usually the weekly siesta where we gather, and share what we’re up to during a specific Weekend. And, that’s still the point of this son of a bitch! But, let’s also just hang out, stare at the sky together, and metaphorically scream.

Let’s spend time, friends!

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‘DOOM Eternal’ Launch Trailer: The Slayer’s Time Is Now, and I’m Fucking Ready!

Fuck me sideways with a prostate gatling gun, folks. DOOM Eternal’s launch trailer is here, and it’s fucking rad. I cannot wait for this shit to drop.

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‘DOOM Eternal’ Trailer: Now With 100% More Laser Swords. Let’s fucking go!

Here’s the new trailer for DOOM Eternal. And it fucking rules, just like everything else that’s been shown of the game.

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‘Doom Eternal’ has been moved back to March, 2020 and now my fucking winter is ruined

doom eternal march 2020

FUCK. Man. Doom Eternal is more or less the only game I was sweating this winter. And now? Well, fuck. It ain’t dropping in November. Nope. It’s dropping in the crowded-ass Spring of 2020.

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‘Doom Eternal’ Trailers: Prepare to rip and tear Heaven and Hell on November 22, 2019!

Catching-up on posting the shit I dug from E3, and this is a big one. Doom Eternal is dropping on November 22 of this year, fellow Doom Slayers. Right before the Holiday season kicks the fuck off. And nothing screams “entertaining your mother-in-law on Thanksgiving” like playing a Doom game at three-thousand decibels after throwing the turkey off the wall in supplication to your Doom masters. Right?

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