#November2019

Monday Morning Commute: Booty Hunting Is A Complicated Profession

monday morning commute booty hunting is a complicated profession

It ’tis I, the booty hunter! You know me! The man who can stare at gifs of butts on Tumblr for hours, but is always late with Monday Morning Commute. Listen! Listen. Booty hunting is a complicated profession. But more than that, it is gloriously passive. Way easier to watch ’em giggle than to pen something. Even slop! Even slop such as this, I know.

But! The booty hunter has arrived, and I’ve got with me my weekly satchel of sacred distractions that are getting me through the week. And oh, fuck, do I hate the weeks lately. Dark as fuck. Cold as fuck. I want to bury myself in blankets and caloric excess and wait for Spring. But, I can’t yield just yet. I mean, we got a significant amount of fucking months to go, and I can’t throw in the towel.

So this here is Monday Morning Commute! And the forthcoming are what I’m enjoying or looking forward to this week! I hope you’ll share your own satchel of sacred distractions in the comments section!

I must admit, I’m going to be quick! Dinner is on the way, and The Mandalorian awaits me. If I can punch this out prior to Mr. Door Dash arriving, I’ll be ecstatic.

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Monday Morning Commute: well it ain’t perfect but i don’t mind [because it’s worth it]

Whelp. It’s Monday, folks. And that fucking sucks. Whelp. It’s dark out at 4:45 pm, folks. And that fucking sucks as well. But, here I am. Here you are, too! If you’re reading this. Mindlessly browsing this collection of letters and symbols while taking a crap, or standing on a bus, or reclining on a couch, or sitting at your computer desk. And really, what can we do about this current situation? Make the most of it, I suppose. Together!

Here in Monday Morning Commute!

You know the spiel. This here is the weekly wank-off where we share what we’re looking forward and enjoying across the latest Monday through Friday gauntlet. Nothing says “surviving life” like listing off a series of distractions. And, nothing says “community” like me screaming into the bleak, blank, black void of cyberspace.

I hope you’ll join me in the comments section!

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‘Death Stranding’ Launch Trailer: Eight minutes of Kojima’s next magnum opus

Here’s the launch trailer for Death Stranding, and woah is the motherfucker meaty. Eight goddamn minutes of confusing but intriguing content. I didn’t think I was going to engage this pig! However, with the delays of a few titles, and general curiosity building, I’m not sure anymore. I’ve officially wandered into “let’s see how the reviews are” territory.

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Conan O’Brien is in ‘Death Stranding’ as Kojima continues to dare us to call him on his bullshit, my god

death stranding conan o'brien

Conan O’Brien is in Death Stranding. A game, which seems like it features many ridiculous and cool things. But, is a cool game? I’m skeptical as fuck.

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‘Death Stranding’ Gamescom Trailers: There is Pee Gameplay and Interdimensional Breast Feeding. Kojima, like, what the fuck?

I can tell you one thing for certain: I have no fucking idea what Death Stranding is going to be. Outside of, you know, absolutely fucking crazy. Pissing gameplay? Breastfeeding across dimensions?

Hit the jump for more details, and an additional trailer.

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‘Death Stranding’ Gameplay Trailer: Kojima’s latest mindfuck drops this November 8!

Holy. Shit. I stand corrected. Death Stranding really is real, and dropping November 8.

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Hideo Kojima teases ‘Death Stranding’ news coming on May 29. I still don’t believe this game is real.

Hideo Kojima has teased that there’s news about his “game” Death Stranding dropping May 29. Yeah, okay. Sure, dude. I’ll believe this shit is more than a collection of vanity vignettes with Kojima’s friends when we see actual gameplay. So, maybe tomorrow?

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‘Death Stranding’ Trailer: Kojima’s next mystery box contains 100% more Troy Baker

I continue to disbelieve that this is an actual game. You can’t trick me, Kojima! Not until I see some actual goddamn gameplay! Okay, okay. Gameplay that isn’t just Walking Dead Guy walking around.

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Kojima drops ‘Death Stranding’ “Bridges” teaser, game is skipping E3

death stranding bridges teaser

Hideo Kojima’s next game ain’t coming to E3 this year, folks. But he did share a new, extremely vague, extremely Kojima teaser for the game. A spiderweb! The word “bridges”! My guess? Bridges between universes, the spiderweb the connections between them. Just a guess, though! Can’t wait to be 10000% right wrong. As well, a Polygon article digs real, real deep into all the way “bridges” have already been presented by Kojima in this game.

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‘Death Stranding’ Trailer: Del Toro and Mikkelsen Go Full Kojima

Hideo Kojima dropped a new trailer tonight for his next game, Death Stranding. It uh, makes very little sense, and features tentacles, Guillermo del Toro, and Mads Mikkelsen. I’m fucking pumped.

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