Monday Morning Commute: Firestarting Springbreak!

Monday is over for me, motherfuckers! The ring light has been stuffed under my computer desk. The laptop that I use to do remote work has been shuddered. Most importantly, a glorious Mountain Dew Zero Sugar Major Melon has been cracked open. Monday is over for me, indeed! I mean, I’ve drank about seven of them today, but caffeine has a more congratulatory pop when it’s ingested during the off-hours.

But, this Monday being over is more glorious than any run of the mill Monday. You see, Spring Break is next week! Which means I’m one step closer to shutting down the ring light for like seven fucking days, playing a shit ton of video games, and generally relaxing. Four fucking days to go!

Mamma mia, I simply cannot fucking wait for this upcoming Siesta.

But, being a lazy piece of shit ain’t that only thing I’m sweating this week. Nope! Folks, I got all sorts of shit on my pop cultural plate this week!  Delicious morsels of cultural caloric bliss that I’m more than eager to stuff into my brain-mouth! While mixing metaphors, analogies, and all of that other shit!

In fact, guess what? I’m going to fucking tell you what I’m gorging on this week. In fact, guess what? You’re going to join me in the comments after I’m done.

After all, that’s the entire goddam function of this column! This MMC. This Monday Morning Commute!

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Monday Morning Commute: I love the kind of woman that can kick my ass!

monday morning commute - i love the kind of woman

What the fuck is up, members of the Space-Ship Omega? How are you doing? I’m currently typing this bitch while actual rays of sun blast through my window. And while they aren’t supercharging my glands, my glutes, and my muscles ala Superman, these rays do feel good. So I’m hitting this son of a bitch with a bit more ebullience than I would have, had I actually written this yesterday.

Which I intended to, honest! But then the day got in the way, and blah, blah. None the less, let’s embrace the Here and the Now together.

What are you radical fucking pseudo-primates up to this week? What are you enjoying? Sweating the next WandaVision? Gleefully watching the snow melt? I don’t know, enjoying baseball’s Spring Training or some other odd shit?

I want to know! I want to show! I’ll go! First!

This is Monday Morning Commute.

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‘Cowboy Bebop’ soundtrack is coming to vinyl this September. 3, 2, 1, let’s hipster!

cowboy bebop soundtrack vinyl

Fucking hipster anime nerds! Listen up! The Cowboy Bebop soundtrack is coming to vinyl this fall! I know I’m talking shit, teasing, you know. But, I would totally be snagging this if I had a record player.

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‘Cowboy Bebop’ Netflix live-action casts Elena Satine as Julia. Ain’t familiar in the fucking least!

netflix cowboy bebop julia elena satine

I ain’t familiar with Elena Satine. But, she’s been cast as none other than Julia in that Cowboy Bebop adaptation. An adaptation that I quite truthfully keep forgetting is happening. Here’s hoping! Here’s hoping.

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‘Cowboy Bebop’ live-action series casts John Cho as Spike. Rest of the cast is awesome, too.

cowboy bebop live-action john cho

3, 2, 1, let’s hear it for easy copy! John Cho is Spike Spiegel in Netflix’s Cowboy Bebop series. I’m fucking here for it, my dudes!

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‘Blade Runner 2049’ anime series coming from ‘Cowboy Bebop’ creator and LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

blade runner 2049 anime series

Blade Runner 2049 is objectively fucking awesome. Additionally, you know what else is fucking awesome? The anime short that Cowboy Bebop‘s creator made for the flick. But, that glorious mash-up ain’t over. Not by a long shot. You see, Shinichiro Watanabe  is returning to be the creative director on a fucking Blade Runner 2049 anime series.

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‘Cowboy Bebop’ live-action series coming to Netflix with the original creator onboard. Uh, how am I supposed to feel?

cowboy bebop live action netflix

Best case scenario: The Cowboy Bebop live-action Netflix series fucking rules. It’s got a chance, given that the writer of Thor: Ragnarok and the show’s original creator are involved. Worst case scenario: it fucking sucks, and we all forget about it. Seems win-win to me.

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‘Blade Runner’ getting short anime from the fuckin’ Cowboy Bebop director. How goddamn great is this?

blade runner anime cowboy bebop director

Christ, how fucking dope of a confluence is this? Blade Runner is getting a short anime from none other than the director of Cowboy Bebop, Shinichiro Watanabe.

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‘Cowboy Bebop’ being made into American live-action TV show because we all sin

cowboy bebop american live action tv series

Cowboy Bebop is being made into an American live-action TV show. Man. This is, uh, this is going to test a recent stance I’ve been trying to adopt. The stance? Trying to get less emotionally involved in remakes, sequels, and reboots. Saying to myself, “if it sucks, it sucks, but it doesn’t besmirch the original source” and such. Yeah. This one is going to test how well I can maintain this mantra.

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Cowboy Bebop.

Sweet baby delicious Jesus, the unreal is becoming real. Cowboy Bebop is finally going to wash up on the shores of the Empire in glorious Blu-Rayification. Eh — next year! But I can wait. I have my life-size model of Faye to hug. It’s constructed out of my tears, Elmer’s glue, and bras I stole from the laundromat.

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