Lame ass Colin Trevorrow returning to continue ruining franchise by writing and directing ‘Jurassic World 3’
Colin Trevorrow is garbage. The Jurassic World franchise is garbage. This is a match made in feces-bath heaven.
Most people I know, including myself: Oh golly, my dick, my dick shrivels with fear for Episode IX, because Colin Trevorrow is writing it.
Well, not anymore. UNFURL, dick. Trevorrow‘s script is being “polished up” by a new screen writer. And hopefully, by polished up, they mean there’s a trashcan where it rots, reeking of inadequacy and turds.
Obvious news is obvious. But, uh, here, enjoy it, those of you silly enough to like Jurassic World. Seriously though, who knows, maybe the sequel will be better. Jurassic World was in development hell forever, and one can hope that’s what led to such a horrid, mutant script.
I was weary when I heard that Trevorrow was announced to be directing Episode IX, coming off his stint helming the abomination that is Jurassic World. But, I enjoyed his work on Safety Not Guaranteed, and I figured if the LucasCompound chose him there must be something to him. Now? Now the dude is talking about shooting on actual film, and wanting to film in actual outer space. I fuck with both these developments.
I’m hoping Colin Trevorrow isn’t as fucking inept as his latest project, Jurassic World, was. Cause that motherfucker is towing the line for the final movie in the new Star Wars trilogy. Lord. Lord help me understand me why he’s been chosen. I mean — he’s competent. Sure. Yeah. Okay. But surely the Lucasfilm Hive-Mind wants more than competent? Right?
I guess it makes sense in some sort of financial way. Get the director behind this year’s biggest hit (Jurassic World) to direct a Star Wars movie. Unfortunately, that same movie is a bag of bloated CGI bullshit, that fails for most of the same reasons that the Prequels fail. Here’s hoping if he’s chosen, Colin Trevorrow brings more of the heart from Safety Not Guaranteed and less of the Hamster Ball Vomit Pile from Jurassic World to the final movie in the new trilogy.
Lots. And lots of people came out this weekend to see Star-Lord ride deep with raptors. I haven’t yet, cause of the whole “honeymoon” thing, but I’m interested. How about you?
Jurassic World ain’t playing fair. It knows I’m middling at best when it comes to the movie. So it keeps stacking the fucking cast with people I adore. First Chris Pratt, and now they’re rolling out my other Spirit Animal? Jake Johnson? God dammit.
Chris Pratt isn’t rocking that laziness tip these days. Guardians of the Galaxy, Parks and Rec, a role in Her. Now the good sir who plays my spirit animal (Andy Dwyer) is going to be starring in the next Jurassic Park flick.