‘NINTENDO POWER’ is cancelled, more of my childhood perishes.
Nintendo Power has bit the bullet, after years of defying the need for good content and legitimate journalism. Even though I won’t miss the son of a bitch, I will miss the son of a bitch. Wait, what?
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‘STAR WARS’ goes spaghetti westerns in these delicious posters.
Timothy Anderson brings the heat, mixing Star Wars with the glory of spaghetti westerns in this set of posters.
Brian Wood ain’t done with Viking tales even though ‘NORTHLANDERS’ is over. Praise Thor.
Northlanders getting axed was a kick to my he-clit. Not the sort of lovely one that follows me being tied up by my Jennifer Lawrence clone, and prior to the candle wax on my nipples. An unsolicited one. It is good news for me then, that Brian Wood intends on continuing Viking stories after the first Universe ended.
Monday Morning Commute: BROCK AT THE MOON.
What’s up, friends. It is Powered by Caffeine here. Rendar can’t come tonight. He’s in the woods with a couple of other friends, howling six-word odes dedicated to Hemingway. Prior to uttering these supplications to Lieutenant Shotgun Suicide, they strip down to their underwear and chest-chop each other while telling one another how fucking masculine it is to take five fingers off the sternum. It is not until their pectoral muscles are bright red and they’re wheezing that they bark at the moon. It is an annual late summer festival, and I dare not come between him and such a spectacle. So here I sit, grinding away on the Mothership per usual. This here is Monday Morning Commute, the column where we give the rundown on the various arts and crafts we’re enjoying on a given week.
Billionaire invests in the development of 3D PRINTED MEAT. WUT. The future is good.
Christ in a can, this is mind boggling. A billionaire dreamer wizard-guy has invested in the development of 3D printed meat. Every day we march closer towards Transmetropolitan and Neuromancer, and I can’t wait to don my mohawk and leather slicker. You know, while eating synthesized buffalo or some shit.
‘STREET FIGHTER’ producer Yoshinori Ono helping with the combat in ‘REMEMBER ME’, hell yes.
As if I couldn’t get any more jazzed for Remember Me, the game is getting a titan to consult. Street Fighter producer and uber-legend Yoshinori Ono is helping with the combat system. Yus.
Darth Vader x Giger’s Alien helmet mash-up is terrifying awesomeness.
I suppose this is one way to recuperate Darth Vader’s swag. Dude is a total little emo sociopath by Revenge. How does one go fixing that? Imagine the dude as some sort of eerie Xenomorph hybrid.
‘THE MASTER’ GETS NEW CLIP: I Lost My Ship
This movie is so gorgeous it makes me want to vomit. Have another clip, count the days.
Mars rover fires its laser, totally lights up a rock. It’s for science, people. And fun.
Ain’t nothing wrong with mussing around a little bit on Mars. Curiosity has deployed its laser, teaching a dumb Martian rock about the strength of human prowess. Or at least how much we like blasting things with phallic lasers.
University lab technician drunkenly parties with monkeys, gets arrested. Damn the man.
If you can’t get a little buzzed, strip off your clothes, and party with the monkeys, what is the point of being a lab technician? I don’t see the point.
