University lab technician drunkenly parties with monkeys, gets arrested. Damn the man.

If you can’t get a little buzzed, strip off your clothes, and party with the monkeys, what is the point of being a lab technician? I don’t see the point.


Bad news first: it looks like Rise of the Planet of the Apes recently kicked off in our reality. The good news? Our future ape overlords will implement a regime not unlike that of a no-budget 1980s comedy — think Porky’s starring Doctor Zaius. As WJBF Augusta explains:

[A] Georgia Health Sciences University (GHSU) Lab Animal Services employee was found drunk and partially nude in a Lab Animal Services Technician locker room on Monday, August 13th. A GHSU spokesperson confirms that 2 monkeys were out of their cages in the locked Animals Services Lab.

Fortunately, the animals weren’t harmed during this laboratory bacchanalia, and the employee was charged with public drunkenness.