Like I said before. It is time for me to take my latex fetishes and furry orgy requests to carrier pigeon. The days of the Wild Wild Internet (if it ever truly existed) is certainly fading with stunning alacrity. Today the House passed CISPA by a considerable amount, and now it is up to Barry Obama to strike the son of a bitch down. (But let’s be honest, the death of Internet freedom is being shoved down our throat no matter how much we gag.)

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There is a new pilot about to be shot for AMC, which incidentally may cause me to shoot some white stuff. Ew! Gross! Sorry, sorry. Anyways, the new television show is described as a cross between Battlestar and Blade Runner. Glorious! Give me this!

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Another avenue has opened up for independent funny book mind-makers. (What?) Kindle has rolled out their Comic Creator, which allows people to convert their comic books into Kindle-format electronic somethings. Like all things given to us by The Man, you have to share a bit of the profit. But it’s got to be good for getting your name out there, I assume?

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Back in the day, Sega didn’t give a fuck. It was high on cocaine and blast processing, throwing money at men, women, and new console iterations. One of those iterations that never saw the light of day was the Pluto, a Sega Saturn with built-in online capabilities. ‘Cause that used to be special. Now a prototype of this little pig has hit the internet.

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I’m sure we will be getting enough of both Ryan Gosling’s abdominal walls and his face throughout Only God Forgives to fill our quota for the year. Of course, if you haven’t been an errant asshole you’ve already begun filling that quota with Place Beyond The Pinewood Box Time or whatever. But maybe you’ve been bad. Anyways, check out this poster for the next Refn-Gosling blood bath.

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Dear friends, mark your calendars. You’re going to want to specifically clear out any events that may have been planned for August 11, for that is when the final season of Breaking Bad begins.

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I imagine this is going to be a divisive development among those of us who shove lightsabers in our ass – nay, need to shove lightsabers in our ass – just to have an orgasm. Disney has dropped that they are planing on releasing a new Star Wars flick every year, starting in 2015. To this I say: fuck yes! Certainly, it may devalue the magic of the original franchise. However, it’ll also give us a copious amount of the Universe we love. And if one of the flicks sucks? Eh, maybe next year! That said, I can completely understand those who fear overexposure, and underwhelming installments.

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Patton Oswalt is appearing on this week’s episode of the fucking fantastic Parks and Rec. One of the preeminent Lords of Dork was asked by the show to play a filibusterer, and given the choice to ramble about whatever he wanted. Oswalt delivered with nothing less than a delicious hallucinatory pitch for a Star Wars x Marvel crossover that we would all love. Don’t deny it.

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Here are some grainy as fuck set photos from Cap 2: Winter is Coming, and So Is Bucky. They offer a glimpse and confirmation of Rogers’ new suit, plus a look at Black Widow back in the hood. This is great news for me, my latex fetish, and horrible news for all the socks in my underwear drawer. Get it? I’m going to jack off to these pics. So low-resolution. So naughty…I know, I’m a piece of shit.

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Take the headline as a compliment. I love seeing Wonder Woman cosplay where she appears done up and ready for battle, not rolling deep and anticipating flashing butt hole at her foes.

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