WHEDON: Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver TOTALLY HUGE part of ‘AVENGERS 2.’
Anyone beginning to wonder how Whedon is going to pull off the integration of Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver into the Avengers Universe? I’m not saying he cannot execute such a feat. I’m just saying that it’s going to be interesting see it in motion. ‘Cause, you know. By the time the first flick rolled around, all the major players had been introduced. But this time, it appears Our Lord and Master has some heavy lifting to do.
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Cosplay: CAPTAIN SCARLETT brings some ‘BORDERLANDS’ goodness.
I have not played the Borderlands 2 DLC. Even still, I’m feeling this cosplay. I imagine after I finally (finally!) fucking cap and head into the downloadable contents, I will appreciate it even more.
‘CABIN IN THE WOODS’ getting recreated at UNIVERSAL ORLANDO.
Fuck yeah! Karate chop a spinal cord out of excitement. Cabin in the Woods is getting itself a glorious recreation at Universal Orlando. I can’t tell you how happy I am that this flick has broken through the jaded crust of our pop culture consciousness during the course of the last year. I mean — I knew it was spreading among people. But a fucking installation at a theme park?
BLANKA BOYZ EPISODE 2: The XBONE x HAL 9000 Affair
Faux Bot is back with his second installment of Blanka Boyz. This one focuses its mentally ill gaze upon the raging degenerate that is Microsoft’s XBONE. As with the first, it is laden with smash cuts, old school references, and thick slathers of insanity.
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: HOT DOGS-RELATED DEATHS
Hello friends and family aboard the Spaceship Omega. As we hail from the Empire Proper, the lot of us shall be celebrating the Fourth of July. You’re not from this Solar System? Confused as to how we rock our celebrations around these parts? It’s simple! All you have to do to join us is fill yourselves with chemical-soaked animal flesh. In-between teeth gnashing the bits, swallow healthy amounts of Amber Liquids. These suds shall assuage the indigestion. Not only that, but they shall elevate you to another plane. Careful, though. Should you consume too much Amber Liquid and Animal Flesh, you may theoretically pass out in the kiddie pool. With your pants down. Theoretically, you’ll wake up lobster pink. The children will notice your lack of pants, the parents will notice the vomit baked into your beard.
So even though it isn’t in league with the celebration, I also caution temperance.
What are you doing to do the rest of the week? Glad you asked. Here is Monday Morning Commute, the column where us populators of the OL-Satellite share what we are up to during a given seven-day stretch.
A Treatise on the Defense of J.J. Abrams and the World of Into Darkness: A Warrior’s Tale
[Caff Note: A good friend of Rendar and myself wrote this rather awesome defense of Star Trek Into Darkness. I imagine he saw dullards like me bashing it, and decided to wave a righteous saber. Despite not seeing eye to eye with him, I demanded that he allow me to share it here. Enjoy.]
Into Darkness. What’s in a title? Nothing (if you ask me). However, Into Darkness attempted to conjure into the minds of the would-be viewers a universe that was literally entering into a ‘darker’ world. Into Darkness is the post 9/11 Trek – a world in which, yes, you can die. Into Darkness has a body count that would rival the epic end of Commando. More humans (not Vulcans) die in this film than in any other Trek film. San Francisco is literally leveled to the ground at the end of the film. Is this a forward direction for Trek? Did Abrams destroy a franchise that deserved something more?
FAN ART: ‘FINAL FANTASY VII’ TRAIN GRAVEYARD is gorgeous incarnate.
I say sweet goddamn! Here is a pretty stunning rendition of Final Fantasy VII‘s train graveyard. Ain’t nothing in this world quite like cyberpunk rot of the game’s Sector 7.
Friday Brew Review: Bar Harbor Blueberry Ale
Holy shit! Maine’s making beer now!
As a lifelong resident of Massachusetts, I’ve always been a bit weary of Maine. That’s not to say that the Pine Tree State doesn’t have anything to offer. It does. It’s the spot to go for quintessential New England seafood, the people are friendly, and it’s scenic as hell. I wouldn’t try to dissuade anyone from vacationing in Maine.
With that said, there’s something a bit discomfiting about Maine.
Maybe it’s the fact that the state is in a weird spot culturally. After all, Maine is wedged right next to the libertarian paradise that is New Hampshire, the hippie epicenter of Vermont, and the progressive-to-the-point-of-scrutiny Massachusetts. What does this leave Maine claiming? Rocky shores and some mountains.
Or maybe I find Maine distressing because it’s mostly uninhabited. Last year I drove to Nova Scotia by myself, and spent the better part of six hours weaving my way through the wilderness of Maine. And let me tell you, if I had hit a moose out there (as the signs so comfortingly warned that I might), I would’ve been dead meat. There’s no way that anyone with the abilities of resuscitating my mangled corpse would’ve found me in time.
Then, of course, there’s Stephen King.
So it was with a bit of trepidation that I picked up a sixer of Bar Harbor Blueberry Ale from the folks at the Atlantic Brewing Company. As I brought the beers to the register, grappling with a barrage of thoughts, some rational and most not. “Is this ale any good? How strong is the blueberry flavor going to be? Is it safe to drink? Is this nothing more than Maine-yokels fooling us by bottling their pee after eating blueberry pie? Should I call Sam Adams and tell him that there’re some wild Mainers tryin’ to cut in on his action?”
By the time I got home, I was driven to investigate this beer.
OMEGA-CAST #1 – Let It Begin
Behold! The first Transmission from The Omega Level. Produced by the inestimable Riff Simian and recorded aboard the Spaceship Omega, the podcast tries its damnedest to catch up on the Summer Happenings so far. Summer Movies. E3. Super Punch Out. We realize it’s a bit rough — and Caffeine Powered was clearly paid off by the producers of Fast 6 — but we hope you welcome it as a new addition to the website.
Leave any thoughts or segment ideas in the comments!
PAYPAL + SETI = creation of a SPACE BANK. No, srsly.
Ah, sometimes the future is so obviously emerging. Emergent. Both. PayPal and SETI have teamed up to create a nascent sort of space bank. They dare to dream of a world where us lead feet are off the Big Blue Marble. You know, spending Space Bux on hookers and spices on Ceres. They imagine this future, and whilst they do they also realize something. All of those transactions need a mechanism, and they want to provide it.
