The motherfuckin’ weekend! Raid the open bar! Stab a loved one and scream, “It’s just molecules! The Universe is pouring out of you, and it is lovely!” Or hug your Mom while cranking out a desperate, bowels-emptying fart. Murmuring into her ears, “You created this. Your egg is now this bowels-emptying pants-filling nightmare.” Or do something much more mundane!

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I’m in a fucking bind here, guys. I know deep down in my heart that more Star Wars stories aren’t needed. But I want them. I need them. So when I want to say Toy Story 4 isn’t needed…I can’t. I realize the situation. I realize the Truth. I don’t have a fucking leg to stand on. I get it. So if you’re excited, enjoy this movie. Be merry. I can’t be a hypocrite.

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Apparently (and probably, obviously) Marvel’s new Secret Wars comic event next year is going to similar to the original. Basically, different Universes smashing it the fuck out. I’m intrigued. But overwhelmed. I am so fucking behind on the Marvel Universe that I don’t really know what the fuck is going on. I read my Hawkguy and my Ms. Marvel, and then I peace the fuck out. A portion of it has to do with this very issue — the seemingly endless and convoluted Universes that the MU stretches across these days. If Secret Wars is going to (hopefully) clean up some of this continuity, I’m fucking for it. But in all honesty I was all for it when Hickman and Ribic were announced as the creative team.

Details and the trailer after the break.

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Don’t worry about it. Yeah you got that thing to do. But you’ll get to it tomorrow. Or maybe the day after that. Keep your nose down. Do your job. Talk about the weather. Feign interest in the Dead Democracy. Yeah you got that thing to do. But you’ll get to it next week. Or maybe the week after that. Make small talk about the local sports team. Notice your gray hairs. Lament the weight gain. Yeah you got that thing to do. But you’ll get to it next month. Or maybe the month after that.

Here’s the view from within My Cycle. Floating about the Space-Ship. Grinding it out. Grinding. It. Out. Share your own Grind-Cycle if you’re so inclined.

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Nearing the end of the week. V. tired. Here’s some pin-up Captain America. For me. For you. For Freedom.

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I wish you could understand how much finding out the official title for Episode VII means to me. I am a Star Wars dick-lord fawning fanboy. Who never thought he’d seen another Star Wars, let alone one which may actually be good. It ain’t even about the title itself. It’s the function the title serves. An obvious reminder that gets my balls a-twitter. This movie is real.

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So uh. Yeah. I completely forgot to cover the news this week that Tatum-Gambit is going forward. Sorry! Apologies. Let me make it up to you with this slice of Cinematic Casting. Apparently the Gorgeous, Well-Dancing, Comedically Inclined, Superhero Portrayer is up for a role in a Tarantino flick. Dope.

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It’s Ant-Man footage! Sort of! Not really! It’s Avengers: Age of Ultron behind the scenes shit! Featuring Scarlet Witch who seems very, very, very fucking awesome.

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ItsRainingNeon is probably my favorite cosplayer in the game right now. No offense to the rest of ya’ll — you’re wonderful too. But her costumers, sense of humor, and poses combine to Win the Gauntlet. So yeah, of course I’m stoked for this Catwoman cosplay.

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[Update: This is some fuckboy grand mal hoax. May the perpetrators get diarrhea.]

COULD THIS BE? NEXT-GEN FALLOUT SET IN MY HOMETOWN? OH GOD. MY BALLS. MY FLUIDS. THEY…THEY CAN’T STOP ERUPTING. PRAY I SURVIVE THIS FANBOY TORRENT OF SEMINAL JUICES LONG ENOUGH TO PLAY THIS GAME.

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