Neal Stephenson joins augmented-reality company as “Chief Futurist.”

Neal Stephenson.

MAKE MINE SNOW CRASH, YA FUCKS! Neal Stephenson has joined an augmented-reality company as their fucking Chief Futurist. And it doesn’t lead to me hanging out in the Black Sun, it’s a colossal fucking disappointment.

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Marvel remastering original ‘Star Wars’ comic adaptation in oversized format

'Star Wars' remastered cover

Looks like Marvel is remastering the original Star Wars comic book adaptation. This news is deeply interesting (okay not deeply) to me as someone who has never read this motherfucker.  Oversized? Recolored? I’m there, there.

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Tuesday Afternoon Commute: That Rotten Tooth

thatrottentooth

It’s Monday Morning Commute! Er. It’s Tuesday Afternoon Commute! How you folks doing? Me? I’m on my first day of break. And honestly I feel like I should be enjoying it more than I am. As a man of routine, the obliteration of my Daily Planner leaves me confused. Lost. Should I be productive and write? Or consume 3,000 calories? Go to the gym? Or play nine hours of Grand Theft Auto 5? My penchant is a predilection for self-destruction. So here are the various things I’m relying on to keep me (somewhat) functioning this week.

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‘Final Fantasy 15’ English Trailer: Juxtaposition and Sheen

final fantasy 15

It’s the same old Final Fantasy 15 trailer I posted a couple of months ago, just this time with English voices. I’m still heated with game-lust. Still confused and intrigued by the odd juxtaposition of the Fantastical and the Modern.

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‘Knight of Cups’ Trailer: No One Cares About Reality Anymore

Knight of Cups

Oh dip! Terrence Malick rocking the dark, debauched tip with his typical cinematic beauty. Sign me up, good sir.

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Maybe: Jeff Nichols directing ‘Aquaman’

Aquaman

You shall not forget the fucking KING OF THE SEA ANIMALS. So here’s a friendly reminder. There’s an Aquaman movie coming, and it may be directed by a legitimately talented dude. (I.E: someone other than Zack Snyder. #Whatever, #LOL.)

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Woah: Fiona Staples and Mark Waid rebooting ‘Archie’ comic

Archie.

How do you get me to read Archie? You stick Fiona Staples on the artwork. Oh, and Mark Waid penning the title doesn’t hurt.

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Marvel could get Spidey movie rights back; these are their plans if they should

Spider-Man.

Man. Fuck the Sony Hackers. Not because I’m like, morally opposed to their actions. I don’t have many morals. But rather, the DATA STREAMS this weekend were unrelenting in their coverage. So I stuffed another taco in my mouth and said, “fuck it, I’ll cover the Spidey news on Monday.” And here we are. Here we are.

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Ridley Scott: Ford called ‘Blade Runner 2’ script “best thing ever”

Blade Runner.

According to Ridley Scott, Harrison Ford found the Blade Runner 2 script the “best thing ever omfg wow!” or something. ‘Cause like, you know Scott would totally report, “I sent him the script and he found it to be cindering dog shit.”

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‘Borderlands Remastered’ revealed by Australian ratings website

Borderlands 2.

WELL FUCK. If I can’t have a goddamn Borderlands 3, I’ll certainly take a remastered jaunt through Pandora. I tried out that Pre-Pre-Se-Prequel, and while it wasn’t horrible. It just, you know, wasn’t the same. So I’ll bide my time waiting for the masters to return by convincing friends to play through this shit with me. One more time. In 1080p or whatever.

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