Source: Super Punch

Well son of a bitch. No sooner do I post a poorly thought out and rushed rant about 3D gaming sucking rancid ass-breath, I come across a study that 80% of gamers are willing to use 3D glasses. Son of a bitch! Jim Sterling breaks it down.

According to a recent survey, 80% of people are willing to play games while wearing 3D glasses. This study contradicts previous polls which have always indicated an aversion to 3D glasses and a general indifference toward the technology in general.

Of those polled, 65% already owned an HDTV and 35% of them were planning to upgrade to a 3DTV. The survey was compiled by U-Decide, a company that specialized in surveying gamers to find out what they want. According to them, gamers want 3D.

Well then, what the fuck! Why am I surprised? Avatar made more money than god, and it just about kicked off this 3D craze that makes me want to puke blood and chunky bits of corn-based vomit all over my crotch. I need to shut my mouth though, since I’ll let you in on a secret: I enjoyed Avatar the first time I saw it. First time? Yeah, ’cause I actually saw it twice. Shh, don’t ruin my cred. The second time though? I noticed what I couldn’t when I was so bedazzled by the gimmick on the first time through. It was a cliched, slow-paced piece of crap.

So yeah, I was fooled, others were fooled, and we all love gimmicks. Fuck, I hate myself.

Kotaku picked up on a CNN article where   Microsoft Game Studios VP Phil Spencer is talking up the Nintendo 3DS, while calling the rest of 3D gaming a “science experiment”. Well then! What exactly is Spencer’s reasoning for praising the upcoming Nintendo handheld, while taking a presumed swipe on Sony’s entry into 3D gaming on the PS3? Dude explains!

CNN:

“I like the 3DS,” Spencer said, though he hadn’t actually seen it firsthand. He likes the concept because “you don’t have to wear the glasses.”

I agree with you on that one, Philly. Nothing screams choad like wearing some goofy fucking glasses while you’re trying to watch television, or play video games. I mean, talk about fucking gimmicky. But do you know what’s just as gimmicky as wearing some fucking goggles on your fat mug? Doing karate kicks to control something on screen!

Yeah, that’s right the fucking Kinect is about as retarded and gimmicky. Now, I’m embellishing a bit. He didn’t actually demean 3D gaming as gimmicky. I did. I just sort of conflated the two. But it seems amusing that he doesn’t see something ludicrous in fingering animals with your hands through pantomiming, but he thinks some glasses on your faceplate aren’t anything more than fucking around with science.

Thoughts? Shazam!

When Disney bought Marvel, we knew there could be some dope repercussions. Last week, it was seeing the NBA get Marvel-inspired artwork to promote the upcoming season. This week? This week we’re seeing Marvel comic books get Tron-based variant covers to promote the big Disney movie in December. Shit is hot! Nothing like taking your favorite Marvel characters, and fetishsizing them with latex and 8-Bit retroglory. Hit the jump for the covers.

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Holy good lord, look at this nerd bonery. An R2D2 bathing suit. I am already far too lucky to have my girlfriend. Like, really lucky. There’s not many women out there willing to deal with my desire to stuff video games into my pants, or rip farts in warm cars in the middle of the winter, or the fact that I get crumbs and fluids all over myself. I don’t know if staying with me makes her a saint, or a god damn fool. Or maybe both. So knowing how lucky I am, I’m not going to even try to get her to wear this. But my imagination? Yes, it runs wild.

Our favorite fat Italian fuck turned twenty-five this year, along with the system he originally rocked out on. As part of that whole “Hey, you’re really fucking old!” celebration, Nintendo and Miyamoto have been talking about the creation process regarding Super Mario. I know you’ve asked yourself the same questions I have; was Mario always some awkward, asexual slave to a blundering princess? Was Luigi always that creepy lurker guy, who you just know is waiting to tap Princess on the rebound?

All important questions. But how about this nugget of interest: originally Super Mario was a bullet-shooting bad motherfucker.

Kotaku via 1UP:

During much of development, the controls were A for shoot bullets, B to dash, and up on the control pad to jump,” said Miyamoto. “The bullets wound up becoming fireballs later – we originally thought about having a shoot-’em-up stage where Mario jumps on a cloud and shoots at enemies, but we dropped it because we wanted to focus on jumping action. The sky-based bonus stages are the remnants of that idea, you could say. In the end, we realized that being able to shoot all the fireballs you want while running gave Mario too much of an advantage, so instead we had it so you shoot only one fireball when you start running.

Christ almighty! Wouldn’t that have solved everything back in the day. Here is friggin’ Mario, having to stop over and over on dumb ass Bowser’s neck. Just praying for some sort of paralysis. Seriously! That god damn Dino-Lizard-Turtle-Thing must have adamantium vertebrae. If Miyamoto just gave the poor fat bastard a shotgun, dude could have iced King Koopa eons ago, and put the Mushroom Kingdom in a much better state. I mean, sure, leiniency and all that crap on first offense. But Bowser is a repeat kidnapper and obviously rapist.

Put the boy out of his misery.

[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

“I’ll teach you to mess with my girlfriend, you dookie-tossin’ ape motherfucker! That’s right, I’m going to catch up to you at some point and when I do I’m going to blast a hole in your goddamn chest! No more of this swinging a hammer, hopping over barrels, climbing up ladders bullshit – I’m going to shoot you in the chest with a fucking gun!”

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Jesus Christ! What’s wrong with us as a civilization? Haven’t we watched Battlestar Galactica? Terminator? Blade Runner? The Matrix? Don’t they know that creating robotic lifeforms leads only to an ass-drubbing of humanity by the pissed of Children of Mankind? But nooo, we just keep fucking around. Take for example this bullshit from last week’s Digital Content Expo in Japan. What we got here is the HRP-4C robot performing an entire dance routine with a contingent of soon to be outdated meat sacs. No, seriously. Don’t you understand that it’s an infinitesimally small leap from performing dance routines to nuking our cities and drilling our skulls with robo-dongs? We are precipitating our own doom.

Hit the jump for what is a taste at our future obliteration.

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Dinosaur talk always strikes me the same as space talk. That is, in the sense that there’s a ton of interesting conjecture, but I’m always a smidge skeptical. But sometimes when the news is interesting enough, it’s worth repeating. Studies have dropped in the past couple of days suggesting that the King of All Dinosaurs, Mr. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a cannibal. Say it ain’t so! According to a crack team of crackpot scientists – that isn’t fair, they’re in all likelihood more brilliant than I could imagine – the gashes on one T. rex suggests that it could have only been made by another of the same species.

Like I said, we’re taking leaps of impressive speculation here.

Huffington Post:

“They’re the kind of marks that any big carnivore could have made, but T. rex was the only big carnivore in western North America 65 million years ago,” Nicholas R. Longrich of Yale University said in a statement.

Longrich and colleagues report their findings in Friday’s edition of the journal PLoS ONE.

They found 17 fossils with deep V-shaped gouges of a type identified as being made by T. rex. Of those, four were remains of T. rex themselves.

It seems likely the marks were made during scavenging from a dead dinosaur, the researchers said.
“It does seem improbable that Tyrannosaurus routinely hunted full-grown members of its own species,” the researchers wrote.

However, they added, it is possible that combat led to casualties, with the dead becoming convenient sources of food for the victors. “Still, compelling evidence for predation in Tyrannosaurus remains elusive.

So well then! I mean, yeah, what the hell is the story worth? Some interesting guesswork and a handful of possibly this and possibly that. But I mean, yeah! There you go. I think more interesting than the fact that the there were T. rexes walking around in North America. For sure, millions and zillions of years ago. But still, it’s interesting to imagine that the very land we’re smashing about on, at one point in time, houses cannibalistic insane-o creatures of unfathomable fright and might.

I think it’s safe to say the Brothers Omega are awaiting Aronofsky’s Black Swan with the fervor. There’s nothing I enjoy more than one of his late-autumn/early winter releases. The world is dark, the air smells of last-gasps, and the wind bites. What better way to knuckle down and get through the Death Months than a nice depressing movie? Hell yeah! Black Swan looks to continue this pleasant tradition. I look forward to enjoying this new, halluciengic flick of his. Then I’ll quietly retire to my room, and contemplate death while holding a drill to my head like I’m out of fucking PI.

With that said, hit the jump for gorgeous international posters promoting this forthcoming mind-fuck-heart-rape.

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