Welcome to Variant Covers. I like comic books. Sometimes I really like them. And every week, I write in this column about the comic books that are dropping this week that I’m interested in. If you’re so inclined, hit up the comments section with what you’re throwing down some ducets on. My ears. They’re open.

—-

Northlanders #36.
Those who follow this column know that I have an unapologetic butt-crush on Brian Wood. His work hits me on a variety of levels, from fucking awesome! to fucking inspirational. The second and final issue of “The Girl in The Issue” drops this week, and I’m expecting the latter. The storyline follows a weathered old man trying to solve the murder of a girl he found frozen in time. The first issue garnered serious love here, and I’m expecting the same from the finale. Its a quiet, almost Hemingway-esque march through the final tolling of a man’s life, cognizant of his small and dwindling station in the world.

I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that Becky Cloonan’s artwork is stunning, and issue #35 provided three of the most gorgeous panels (its three panels, right?) I can recall in recent time.

Outstanding.

Also Dropping: Wood’s DMZ #61. I’m waiting on the sixth trade to arrive in my mail, for I desperately need to catch up before it ends.

—-

Scarlet #4.
Brian Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev’s post-modern metatextual affair continues this week. Still featuring a sexy redhead with guns. Still featuring her directly engaging the reader every issue. Still getting me very, very excited every time it drops. The last issue ended (if I recall, the long breaks between issues is killing me) with her capping a cop, and I imagine the title is only going to get more violent. I mean, fuck, she’s trying to encourage the reader to join her in a cultural uprising.

Not exactly for the faint of heart.

I don’t think the title gets as much love from others as I give but, I can understand why. The tropes themselves aren’t new: V for Vendetta with a vixen, mix in some teenage uproar, et cetera. But it’s done well, and Maleev’s artwork is stunning. Some of the stuff he’s doing with paneling is fresh to a guy like me. Bearing in mind that I mean a guy who doesn’t have much in the way of technical knowledge when it comes to art. I’m a lit dork, leave me alone.

Keep Reading »

Oh my gosh! Would you believe this shit? There’s a blurry picture from the Spider-Man set. It’s someone (no clue if its Garfield or a stuntman) bombing around what is supposed to be the streets of New York City. Do I get any sort of meta-cred for admitting I’m posting this, but knowing I’m a douchebag for posting such an absurd thing?

No? Fuck.

Hit the jump for the full picture, and some other set-photos bullshit.

Keep Reading »

Speculative science is awesome. Especially if you’re into theorizing and not, you know, hardcore facts. This seems to always be the case when talking about sweet-ass outer-space things. You know. Black holes, dark matters. That sort of swag. Well today, we have this wonderful little teaser: is the Milky Way Galaxy surrounded by invisible dark matter galaxies? Dun, dun, dun!

Alasdair Wilkins over at io9 brings the interesting article to the forefront, and this is the dealio. Based on how gravity affects gases at the edge of the Milky Way, we should have  a satellite galaxy located 26,000 light-years away. The problem? We ain’t never seen that thang. Wilkins elaborates:

Astronomer Sukanya Chakrabarti looked for gravitational effects created by potential satellite galaxies of our home, the Milky Way. Not unlike the gas giants such as Jupiter of Saturn, the Milky Way has a bunch of relatively tiny “moon” galaxies. The most famous of these, the Magellanic Clouds, are about 10 percent the size of our galaxy, but most of these satellite galaxies are less than a hundredth the size of the Milky Way.

Back in the 19th century, astronomers detected the planet Neptune by observing the slight gravitational wobble of Uranus, which could only be caused by an undetected planet further out. The same basic principle is at work here, as this mysterious Galaxy X is creating movement in the gas at the edge of our galaxy. Chakrabarti suspects the galaxy is composed mostly of dark matter, which is part of the reason why we hadn’t found it up to this point.

If it exists, Galaxy X would be about 1% the size of the Milky Way, making it the third largest satellite after the Magellanic galaxies. While dark matter would make up most of its mass, there would likely still be some dim stars of regular matter in there as well. The galaxy lies on the same plane as our galactic disc, meaning astronomers need to look through all the bright lights of the Milky Way just to see Galaxy X. Still, now that we know where to look, Chakrabarti says, we should be able to find it.

A dark matter galaxy! Interesting shit. I wonder what our dark matter companions are up to? Are they fans of sports? What sort of thing turns them on? Read more.

Final Fantasy XIII is getting a sequel. Art thou prepared?  I spent too many hours last year in a blind rage over Final Fantasy XIII to get into it again. But! There’s always a but, isn’t there? Let’s just say this: whether it was that the game sucked, or I was simply tired of the same tropes that used to thrill me, or a combination of the both, I hated the game. I seethed while playing it, and blistered my fingers ranting about it to friends.

I don’t pretend my opinion is ever the word of God (or someone smart), and in this case I know a lot of people who enjoyed it, and for them, this is probably pretty exciting. Or they’re pretending they’re on some sort of artistic high ground and reject the notion of a sequel.

Whatever the case, Final Fantasy XIII-2 is coming.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

Keep Reading »

Over my semester break, I rediscovered my love for reading. Particularly of funny books. It’s a hell of a thing. Reading, you know? I do a lot of reading every year. I read thousands upon thousands of pages and churn out limitless lines of bullshit in classes in front of my fellow graduate students.

I consume novels and puke up rhetoric about them without so much as a thought. I am a well-oiled analytical machine. But I don’t love it. Actually, maybe I do. But it’s a different sort of love. The thrill of finding an argument you want to make, and then meticulously building it in your head.

For as much as everything I blog about is off the cuff and retarded and unedited, the academic bullshit I pen is painstakingly agonized over in my brain. The lead-up to a term paper is countless hours driving in my car, staring out the window, and thinking.

Zoning out, forever, into the distance. It’s how I shut down the grind of the world, the din of the noise factories. Websites, Twitter, sports talk radio. It all melts away as I drive and contemplate.

Keep Reading »

French artist Ozcan rocked out a Dreamcast with a gorgeous Jet Grind Radio customization. God, I miss the days of Dreamcast, and JGR. I spent far too many hours lighting bullshit up with spray cans and bobbin’ my head to Jurassic 5 et others.

Hit the jump for the dude’s gorgeous customization.

Keep Reading »

Everyone’s talking about it on the internets today, why shouldn’t I? Upcoming sci-fi flick Love looks like a goddamn gorgeous homage to 2001. I’m a sucker for them. If it can put its on stamp on the mythos like Moon or Sunshine? Visual porn for me. But the craziest part about this project? For a dismissive asshole like me? It’s being scored and produced by Tom DeLonge of Blink-182 and Angels and Airwaves.

Bah? The trailer is friggin’ gorgeous, and the score that accompanies it also rules. Sign me up.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

Keep Reading »

Hey dickhead dorks. Yeah, you. The ones that gripe. You can scratch something off your list of Infinitely Long Things to Bitch about. The new Spider-Man flick by Marc Webb starring Andrew Garfield is bringing back web-shooters. Praise Allah! Right? The confirmation comes from Emma Stone dropping an interview with MTV. Hit the jump for the details.

Keep Reading »

Way back in the day, before the Nolanverse Batman flicks, Darren Aronofsky was up for the project. His premise was fucking insane:

Among other things, Bruce flees after his parents are murdered, and goes to live above a car garage with Big Al, and his son Little Al. Big Al eventually dies, and Little Al becomes Bruce’s mentor and the “Alfred” figure. Bruce turns a Lincoln Continental into his Batmobile, but he doesn’t really set out to be a bat – he disguises himself first with a scar, then with a hockey mask and cape. He is hitting criminals with his father’s old signet ring, leaving the initials “TW” on their faces – but everybody thinks this looks like a bat-shape, and they start calling him the Batman. So he finally decides to go with it and dress like a bat. We meet Harvey Dent and Selina Kyle before they become Two-Face and Catwoman, and also glimpse the Joker. Despite these differences, some scenes and strands are lifted directly from Miller’s graphic novel.

Sounds Batshit (pun!) crazy, no? Well, now it may be coming to comic books. And then the movies.

Keep Reading »

We are once again celebrating Monday Morning Commute! Sure, the work week will probably bring plenty of stress and disappointment. Maybe you’ll get fired. Maybe your boss will sexually harass you. Maybe he won’t. But no matter what setbacks you suffer, you’ll need to make time to enjoy life. Otherwise, what’s the fuggin’ point?

Check out what I’ll be doing this week. Then, if you’re daring, let me know what you’ll be up to. This is nerd-culture at its finest.

Keep Reading »