Can’t Help It Yo, I’m Just A Fan.

I’m just a fan.

That’s the truth of it. Maybe you already know this. But as I said, that’s the truth of it. I don’t know if it’s a bad thing, or if it’s a good thing. To aspire to be nothing more than a fan. At this point in my life, at this point in the site’s life, maybe it isn’t even worth reflecting upon.

I’m just a fan.

Just finishing up the fifth trade of Brian Wood’s DMZ, and I sat on my futon staring at the cover. I was inspired by the writings. The tales of surviving within a war zone, for fighting for what you believe in. Conversely, for not knowing what you believe in, for striving to find meaning in the madness of bullets and riots. I sat on my futon, staring at the cover. And that’s when I thought it to myself, “Man, I want to fucking meet Brian Wood. I want to shake his hand and tell him how much he inspires me.” Not the most professional sentiment ever.

I’m just a fan.

There’s this stigma. You know, the one you get for being just a fan. I don’t think I can defeat it, so I might as well embrace it. I loathe the idea of doing reviews. I can’t do it. Objectivity isn’t something I’m excellent at achieving. A sharp mind is persistently overrun by the exhilaration of enjoyment, or the madness of disappointment. ¬†So I don’t do reviews. The few I’ve done, I’ve looked back upon and shook my head. Youch!

I’m just a fan.

I have an unbridled passion. That shit I’m not faking. I lose my mind when I see a teaser for something that I find exciting. I foam at the mouth when you mention George Lucas or the prequels. Maybe that’s okay though. Maybe there’s room for me in a world filled with people casting opinions as though they’re ¬†molded from iron. I can’t give you level-headed discussions, I can’t give you well-thought out essays. I give my professors in graduate school that sort of bullshit. To you I can give a litany of swear words and exclamation points and things I’m really excited to show other geeks.

For people who don’t find me their cup of tea, hey, I don’t blame you.

I’m just a fan.

But maybe for some people, that’s cool.