Out of the darkness emerges a hero! It ain’t me. That hero comes along, smashes me in the gullet, and drags my corpse into the creak whilst I scream. What I can do is welcome you back to Buy These Frakin’ Comics! It’s been over a month since I saddled up to this column and shared the juicy pink comic bits I want to be snagging on a given Wednesday. Better yet? It’s been over two months since I actually snagged the funnies off a rack. Busy, man. Jaded, woman. I return today, hoping to double down on some PMA and ride the sequential artwork once more. In this here column we gather round, scratching dander out of our cracks while sharing the comic books we’re buying. Don’t see your fave rag in my list? Good. Audience participation is crucial, and I’m always looking for new finds.

Not sure what is coming out? Hit up Comic List.

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My friends, welcome to the show. It’s been quiet around here at the Omega Level. For that I apologize. The past month has been a full-ass sprint towards the Grad School finish line. Due to this, I’ve all but dropped off the face of the Earth. I haven’t seen that son of a bitch Patrick Bateman since NYCC, and God knows without me keeping him in check he’s probably been returning a lot of video tapes. A lot of high school color guards being terrorized by a trench coat-and-smirk marauder. I haven’t even read a fucking comic book since August, folks. August. My life is a whirlwind, with only brief jaunts to the movie theaters and Borderlands 2 giving me respite.

Soon though! Fucking Thursday, this 50-page beast will be turned in. Then I’ll be able to relax. A bit.

This is Monday Morning Commute, the column where we diddle and jack it to the activities and loves that are getting us through this week. What are you degenerates digging at the moment? ATM? Ass to mouth?

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Awww man. Fuckin T-DOG! We here at the ol’ OL, are shocked and saddened to report the tragic loss of our editorial favorite: Mutha Fuckin T-Dog. Don’t call it a spoiler, cause there is much else to breakdown, but got-damn, not T-Dog!!! Also, since I’m a lazy whore, and week 3 was weak sauce, we are cutting the fat out of your diet in a special double gold edition of TWD 2min Redux. So pop a bottle, and get ready to pour one out for T. God Bless.

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There’s a new Bond movie coming out at the week. You have no idea how much that tickles me. When I was a kid, TNT used to have the occasional “15 days of 007” and play them non stop for a fortnight. It was glorious. I’d watch them all over and over. To coincide with the release of Skyfall, I present to you all my favorite Bond Films. Please let me know what films in the series you all like. Of course if you’re not a fan of 007, please say why so I can Internet fight you in the most juvenile of fashions.

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Oh snap! Looks like OMEGA-`LECTION DAY is upon us! I can’t believe we’ve made it to another one, but since we’re here we might as well celebrate! Hit the jump to check out all of our totally legitimate coverage!

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(As Americans brace themselves for another big Election Day, Omega-Level is proud to offer its services to a new political party, designed by Argey Fontes and Andrew Mercier (our very own Eduardo Pluto, sans pseudonym): The Slumber Party. Here is its extensive manifesto. TL;DR: Party on.)

America is faced with a widespread contagion—the Great Yawn. Millions of people across this country have contracted it already and the numbers are rising. During this critical time in the nation’s history, two-party politics has become exceptionally polarizing, when partisans thwart necessary reform and others are too complacent with the status quo. Nothing changes substantially except the ever-growing gap. Proposals from one side are quickly dismantled or disregarded by the other. The only reciprocity that crosses the divide is yawning, brought on by fatigue and tedium. Meanwhile, those whose allegiances are not to these party lines try their best to stay removed, but many cannot for long. Watching from the outskirts, they become disillusioned by the dysfunction, turned off by the whole process, and are then similarly caught by the outbreak.

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[WEEKEND OPEN BAR: The one-stop ramble-about-anything weekend post at OL. Comment on the topic at hand. Tell us how drunk you are. Describe a comic you bought. This is your chance to bring the party.]

Presidents suck.

Maybe there’s something in the White House water. Or maybe it’s the fact that it takes an elevated level of egotism and self-righteousness and disregard for human life to serve as Commander-in-Chief. But the fact of the matter is that any individual who’s ever been President of the United States of America has sucked.

JFK. Reagan. Lincoln. Washington. FDR. Hayes. Clinton. Fillmore. Boneheads, the lot of `em!

Tuesday is Election Day, and as such the people of the United States will head to the polls to decide which miscreant is going to have a place in the Oval Office. There’ll be television coverage and petty spats between friends who don’t understand why they’re voting for their respective candidates and it’ll be the abysmal illusion it always is. Don’t resist, just revel.

With that being said, let’s take the time to engage in a much more important discussion. Something that matters to us. A topic that has actually affected our daily lives.

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FICTIONAL PRESIDENT?

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Happy Halloween everyone. Hopefully most of you will be spending the day watching cheesy horror flicks and handing out candy to children dressed as various characters from pop culture. I will not be doing either. I despise horror movies and I live in a neighborhood where trick or treating is not popular. However I’m willing to put my prejudice aside to bring you my top 5 iconic horror movie characters. Also, side note, I know virtually nothing about these characters, I am just shoehorning this one in there because it is Halloween and it makes sense. Feel free to lambaste me all you want.

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Hello there! If you’re reading this it means that Frankenstorm hasn’t totally rocked you. Not yet, anyways. Or, if you took the proper precautions as I did, you’re safe in a bunker, leisurely tapping away on a hard-shelled laptop produced in 1995 and powered by a Soviet-surplus generator.

Mother Nature is a powerful woman of antiquity, but I’m a crafty miscreant in the digital age.

Anyways, welcome to the Monday Morning Commute, the weekly meeting at which we confess our darkest entertainment secrets. Can’t tell your boyfriend about that comic book you bought? Come to the MMC! None of your coworkers will appreciate the Japanese import you just got in the mail? Come to the MMC! Pretty sure your wife doesn’t give two buttery squirrel shits about the fact that you’re going to beat Super Mario Bros. 3 without the use of a single warp or whistle? Come to the MMC!

I’m going to get things started. But then it’s up to you to share what you’ll be doing this week. C’mon, it’s electronic show and tell!

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When I interviewed writer Steven Walters back in June, he told us that an 8-page AKA prequel was in the works. I immediately began foaming at the mouth and had to seek medical attention. Unfortunately, my brother had me committed to a macabre asylum. It was a truly trying time, with the only silver lining being that my roommate was a loon-bag named Renfield who liked to eat birds.

Fortunately, my case of spontaneous mad-dog has subsided just in time for me to tell you about AKA: One in the Chamber!

Not only is this comic going to give readers some back-story to the crime’n’blood, babes’n’bullets wonder that is AKA, it’s also going to help creators Steven Walters and Rob Reilly spread the word to retailers. In their words:

THE MISSION:

Being an independent comic creator and publisher is difficult. In this market projects like our’s, despite having a previous successful Kickstarter campaign to pay our colorist and letterer, tend to get buried under the popularity of mainstream & established superhero books.

It is our hope to raise the necessary funds to produce 10,000 FREE promotional comics with a story that predates our graphic novel, AKA, in order to increase our readership.

The plan is to have this 8 page prequel, along with an advert for the trade, be distributed to indie-friendly retailers and given out to potential comic readers.

However, we are offering (among other things) exclusive variant covers for our backers by such great talents as Mike Hawthorne, Mike Oeming and Taki Soma.

Do you like comic books? Awesome action scenes? 1970s exploitation flicks? Supporting the underdog? Unless you’re a total butthead, you’ve answered “Yes” at least once, so there’s only one thing to do. That’s right, head over to Kickstarter and help get AKA: One in the Chamber made! I know money’s tight for everyone these days, but I promise you that you’ll enjoy AKA: One in the Chamber much more than thatRed She-Hulk vs. Fathom variant cover you were planning on buying.

Seriously.

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KICKSTARTER / STEVEN WALTERS / ROB REILLY