#Caffeine Powered
‘Star Wars Battlefront’ Sequel Coming This Year *With* Single-Player Campaign
Everything I’ve head about Battlefront from people who have played it, is that essentially, it was half a game. It seems Electronic Arts also heard this, as the company has gone ahead and already announced the sequel will have a single-player campaign.
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‘Final Fantasy 15’ First DLC Episode Dropping In March
We now know when we will be getting our first batch of serious Final Fantasy 15 DLC, folks. March! And, even better! It is going to star Gladiolus. My personal fave.
Matt Reeves On ‘The Batman’ Director Shortlist
Matt Reeves, he of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, and War for the Planet of the Apes, is reportedly high on the list of directors wanted for The Batman. Sure?
‘Final Fantasy XII’ Remaster Hitting PlayStation 4 On July 11
Man. I’m ready for some more Final Fantasy XII. I loved it back in the day, and I’m certainly stoked the previously Japanese-only beefier Zodiac Beefy Beef Edition is being remastered for the PS4!
Ben Affleck Will Not Direct ‘The Batman’ But Still Starring And Producing
Man. You know. Warner Bros. just can’t seem to get their fucking shit together in the DCU, can they? Affleck is no longer directing The Batman.
Monday Morning Commute: The Sky Above Was Neon
I suppose, invariably, writing Monday Morning Commute on an actual Monday evening will find me: tired, stank-ass from the gym, palming my eye sockets attempting to figure out what to say. So, invariably, here we are. Here I am. Stank ass. Tired. Palming my eye sockets, praying to the Elder Ones to provide Divination. I’m tired, you’re tired. I’m somewhat fulfilled, in a somewhat fulfilling job, that compensates for its fulfillment by being tenuously existent from semester to semester, and perpetually stressful about said existence. But as the French Philosopher CaffPow once said, “C’est la adjunct life or some shit.” He said that. I said that. I hope you’re feeling at least as fulfilled as me, minus the stress, the perpetual scrotum-shrinking stress of contemplating the harrowing, horrifying prospects of what Next Semester Will Bring, less than a week into This Semester.
Fuck, fuck me, I’ve gotten myself off one of them Old Tangents. They used to be about how I beat my meat inconsolably to gifs of Katy Perry or some shit. Many moons ago. Now they’re just another tepid meat-case lamenting its tepidity whilst stuck in said meat-case, completely ignoring how Goddamn Good the meat-case has it Relative To So Much Of The World.
But, uh, buddy. Buddies. How are you folk-fuckers doing? What are you up to this week? Watching anything dope? What are you sweating? Anticipating playing anything dope? Sharing the answers to said questions is not cheating, folk-fuckers. No, in fact, it’s encouraged in this post here’s comments section. One could even say it’s the fucking raison d’être (the phrase popped into my head but truthfully I had to Google it to confirm it actually was a phrase) of this entire column. Generating a self-sustaining Community Bubble wherein we can share what we’re STOKED and JACKED for during a given week.
Me, this little ole devil? I’ll go first.
Hope to see you in the comments section! Folk-fuckers!
Rumor: Eidos Working On ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ Game
Fuck yes! Eidos, the company behind Deus Ex and Tomb Raider, is apparently working on a Guardians of the Galaxy game.
Space Swoon: Juno Captures Jupiter’s Little Red Spot
Yeah, yeah. We all know about Jupiter’s Great Red Spot. But did you know the titanic fucking plant also has a Little Red Spot?
Hit the jump for a look at its glory.
RZA Directed An Episode Of Marvel’s ‘Iron Fist’
Am I excited for Iron Fist? Not really. Do I know if RZA is a good director? Not really (I never saw Man With The Iron Fists). But does RZA directing an episode of the aforementioned show get me excited? Yes really.
