#December2012
Gabe Newell: Valve will release its own console-esque PC for living room.
Gabe Newell! Confirming what the lot of us already knew! Me! Reporting it days after it was first confirmed. Hey, whatever, bro.
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Press Start: Digital Afterlife & Rebirth
Does anyone else regularly think about the intro sequence from Ghost In The Shell? I remember how amazing it was. I loved watching that shell being born: all dripping liquid and hydraulics. Birth without all the mess: I can dig it.
As I step out of the shower, I feel a similar kind of (re)birth and I’m ready to fill this pool up with enough gaming news to drown anyone foolish enough not to wear water wings. Get in.
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: Death Rays for Deadbeats!
When the cultists descend from the Mountains, they’ll find my dessicated corpse next to the Xbox 360. If they’re willing to interact with the rot-flesh, perchance they could save my game. One last final save of my Mass Effect 3 playthrough, sending the file to a cloud server that no longer heeded requests. This is the way the world ends. A landfill of forgotten files on servers, leftover Netflix subscriptions no longer churning out endless episodes of Twin Peaks. Oh, I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying. This is Monday Morning Commute. The column where all us barely-evolved monkeys with keys to the Nanoverse share the things that are entertaining us on a given week. What are you partaking in this week, you turkeys?
‘THE LAST OF US’ VGA 10 TRAILER: Now with more release date!
Here’s the trailer for The Last of Us that dropped tonight at VGA 10. It’s got a release date too, wee! Expect it —May 7, 2013.
‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ REBOOT dropping Spring of 2015. That year is choking.
Well tits. I thought that this year was a busy year for superhero movies, and I suppose it was. However, it ain’t going to have anything in comparison to 2015. A year already choking on superhero films is having another one added to the calendar. That’s right! Fantastic Four, come on down. Join the deluge of tights-and-lasers flicks that will be competing against one another in the third year since the Mayan apocalypse.
Bitcoin cleared to operate as real bank in France. Future ++
What fresh hell is this? I don’t truly understand how Bitcoin operates, I just know it is some weird futuro currency that knows no boundaries. And it can buy drugs. Lots of drugs. Oh! And you harvest it. Somehow. Now Bitcoin is being cleared to operate as a real bank in France, and I am getting a nose bleed attempting to understand what is going on.
NICOLAS WINDING REFN directing Denzel Washington in ‘THE EQUALIZER’, Rendar pees.
OH GOD. How much stoic, brooding masculinity can you fit into one film? Winding Refn and Washington are going to try and find out. I hear the movie is just Denzel staring quietly into a mirror for two hours, fire in his eyes. Eventually the mirror begins to vibrate, then literally weep. It shatters. The movie ends.
Watch: SUPERCUT: Helmet Oddity is 80 years of sci-fi space helmets in one video.
There’s something so deliciously fetishistic about space helmets for science-fiction geeks like me. I just want to like their clear bulbous membrance while cooing about how in space nobody can hear you cream. Keith Melton has compiled quite the spank track for freaks like me, issuing this video that captures 80 years of space helmets in one tidy package.
Rumor: ‘METAL GEAR SOLID 5’ secretly announced at SPIKE VGA. Oh, Kojima!
At the Spike VGA, the game The Phantom Pain was revealed. Ain’t nobody had heard of it, or its developer, and this was a bit of a head scratcher. It is not usual for such a sexy looking entity to come out of nowhere. What if, folks, there was more to this story! What if, that title was actually Metal Gear Solid V? It would be so fucking Kojima, that’s what.
JAPANESE ‘IRON MAN 3’ TRAILER: Stark goes domestic!
Iron Man 3 continues on with the “oh, okay!” introduction of the Stark and Peppers relationship that was featured in Avengers. If you’re wondering just what the sweet tits such a domestic affair may look like, this Japanese trailer for Iron Guy The Third may be educational.
