The DC solicitations for their July comics feature a disturbing trend: Rob Liefeld actually drawing feet. This occurrence across three of his covers is unfathomable even to his supporters like myself, who embrace his absolute lack of regard for human anatomy. Liefeld didn’t just stop there. He threw a pretty amusing quote-bomb upside his detractors’ skulls.
Ben Tripp has mastered the internet. You see Tripp has noticed something in regards to Rob Liefeld. Not only is Rob Liefeld the master of pouches, straps, enormous guns, and Zombie Christ, but Tripp noticed he’s also excitable. Like Caff-Pow levels of bananas. He’s gone on to create a website that tracks this excitement by measuring the amount of exclamation points Cable’s Daddy is using on Twitter.
Image Comics was a pretty fucking awesome development. Twenty years ago. Sweet Fuck!, it’s already been that long? A bunch of ruffians breaking away from the pack to creator their own (rip-offs of Batman and Spider-Man, hi Todd!) and retain all the rights to them.
Rob Liefeld, resident genius and adolescent reflection of the warping effects of living within a hyperreality is expanding. His blight is moving. Spreading. The contagion has not been contained.
There’s a lot of fun to be had with Rob Liefeld, and his mastery of the hyperreal HGH cloven monsters he draws. But maybe I should stop, ’cause apparently he rolls deep. Way deep. The ghost of OG Eazy-E must assuredly has his back.
ROB LIEFELD, THE PURVEYOR OF THE EXTREME, THE CONQUEROR OF GOOD TASTE, THE DISTRIBUTOR OF ANATOMICAL NOT-GIVING-A-FUCKS IS SURFING 1990S NOSTALGIA TO BRING BACK HIS EXTREME STUDIOS. IT SHALL BE A CAPS LOCK DAY INDEED, FOR THE MAN HAS RETURNED. CLOVEN HOOVES! POUCHES! FOR ALL!
Robert Kirkman is best known these days for giving the world The Walking Dead. It is by no means his only work, but it is the name they drop whenever they reference him. Rob Liefeld is known for giving the world anatomically impossible works of Awesome, and human beings with cloven feet. Together, they’re going to give the world The Infinite.
Jesus fucking Christ. Just when I thought that Rob Liefeld couldn’t rock any harder, the dude is bringing us Zombie Jesus. His webcomic is designed to tackle this passage from the Bible:
The earth shook, the rocks broke and tombs opened and many men and women who had died came back to life again. They left the cemetery and went into the city and appeared to many people there.
Fucking. Fantastic. This shit is far too amazing to be true. But it is. Oh, yes, it is. I know I’ve always sat around and scratched my head at this scripture. Sitting here, a Man of the Lord, wondering what exactly happened after My Lord and Savior was nailed to the cross, but prior to him self-rezzing and rocking out to the Pentacost and shit. And now religious beacon and soothsayer Rob Liefeld is ready to unveil what is obviously the Truth.
After the crucifixion, supernatural warfare tore apart the Roman Provinces. Zombie Hordes attacked Jerusalem in search of the corpse of Christ. The Disciples were under siege as the Undead tore apart the countryside and an unlikely hero, LAZARUS THE IMMORTAL emerged to combat the Legion of Dead!
Phew. No really, he’s writing this. I can’t make this shit up. And I’m grateful to Mr. Liefeld, who is unafraid to spit the true gospel and illumination upon us, the sheep of our Lord.
Again, Jesus fucking Christ, this shit is bananas. Like, I can’t believe that this is being done, and I’m so grateful that this insanity is puking out of his mind that I want to shake his hand and let him know what an amazing act of absurdity his existence has to be considered. Rob Liefeld, you are a god damn saint. Saint Hoof Feet.
Want to see a fucking preview of this insane bullshit? Of course you do. hit the jump.