#June2014

E3 2014 MASTERPOST: CLOSE-OUT, ASS-OUT, VIDEOS & NEWS COMPENDIUM

boom! OKAY FOLKS. Listen up. Between the alimony hearings, the drug use, the fact that Feedly went down for two fucking days, and my favorite butt plug melting in my dishwasher (which required an immediate journey to the upper mountains of the Appalachians to replace), there’s some E3 STUFF I DIDN’T GET TO. However, I also posted a fucking fuckload. Here in one batch is everything I’ve caught from E3. Posted, and previously unposted. Sorted by console. Don’t see your fave announcement/game? Hit the comments. I’ll add it. I know I’m missing a lot. Also! Use this space just to shoot the E3 shit. Read the rest of this entry »

Sony Cackles: A third of PS4 owners were X360 or Wii owners last gen

Kaz Hirai Hogan.

Sony ain’t shying away from bragging about their so-far dominance of this current generation. Dropping a hurricanrana factoid like this. Apparently 1/3 of the PS4 install base was an Xbox or NintendoWiWi owner in their previous console-generation-iteration, and didn’t own a PS4.

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No duh: ‘TITANFALL 2′ being planned. Will drop on PS4, too.

titanfall

In a move shocking EVERYONE, everyone!, there’s going to be a Titanfall 2. Go figure. Was a bit of an underground indie hit, but hey maybe there’s some credit there. Also shocking EVERYONE!, to the point where they were puking chunks of esophagus onto their keyboards in surprise, is that it won’t be an XB1 exclusive.

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PlayStation 4 got a TWO-MILLI CONSOLE LEAD on the XB1.

console war

I’m digging this console war. PS4 versus XB1 versus my wallet versus Godzilla versus Jizz-Covered Parking Lot Wanderers. It’s the greatest battle of the generation. And so while PS4 is outselling XB1 at the moment, both are selling pretty fucking well.

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MOAR CONFIRMED? PS4 getting PS1 & PS2 games in NATIVE 1080p

GIVE ME.

All I want in life is to be able to play my old school PlayStation games on my PlayStation 4-Some. In 1080p. Is that too much to ask? (I actually want a lot of other things: a golden dildo with my name engraved, a falcon, limitless supplies of Diet Mountain Dew, to name a few.) Soon I may be getting one of those wishes granted (unfortunately not the fucking falcon).

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Rumor: ‘FAR CRY 4′ will be BROING OUT IN THE HIMALAYAS in 2015

Far Cry 3.

My taint is ready to be slathered in bro goo and deployed back into the world of Far Cry. It’s been too long! Miss the Island. Miss the Blood Dragons. Good news for me then, that apparently the next installment of the mofuckah’ is arriving in early 2015. I can do this. I can make it.

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Sony announces “PROJECT MORPHEUS” VR Headset.

Project Morpheus.

Sony has revealed their VR headset, dubbed “Project Morpheus.” Maybe I’m just old and showing my age, but I don’t really get up for this. If sitting in front of a video game isn’t already a Dystopia Made Real, completely detaching from others in your own house and rummaging around a virtual world seems a final consummation. On the other hand though, gimme the Black Sun from Snow Crash (my usual refrain).

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New batch of ‘INFAMOUS: SECOND SON’ screens for UR NEXT-GEN GUTS

Sexy.

I’m pretty gnarlstokedjacked for inFamous: Beanie Douchebag Gear. Despite my utter disdain for the protagonist’s appearance, the game appears to let you rock out in an unfathomably gorgeous world with some tasty superhero powers. There’s a new batch of screens for the game that have dropped, and they’re only further tempting me to drop. Drop trou.

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‘UNCHARTED’ creative director AMY HENNIG leaves Naughty Dog. Perhaps pushed out. #BackroomDealings

Uncharted.

The main brain-piece behind the Uncharted franchise has peaced the fuck out of Naughty Dog. Amid reports that the minds behind The Last of Us did some squeezing of her out, Sony has confirmed the departure today. I’m really hoping that this doesn’t impact the quality of the next Uncharted, but if she’s being squeezed out, it ain’t by fools of lesser capabilities. Maybe? #GamingBackRoomPolitics

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PS4 sales have passed SIX MILLION UNITS across the globe. Dolla Dolla Something?

dollars dollahs bills yo

The PS4 doesn’t seem to have any lack of selling power. After dropping in Japan, the son of a bitch 370,000 systems in its native country in just over a week. With those numbers ingested into the enormo-corpus of the PS4 Leviathan, sales have now broken the six-million mark.

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