#July2016

NASA’s Juno spacecraft has successfully entered Jupiter’s orbit

how it worked

Yeah, boy! Juno has successfully entered Jupiter’s orbit. The spacecraft sent a message a mere 540 million miles across the solar system to let NASA, and you know, the rest of us know.

Read the rest of this entry »

Space Swoon: NASA’s Juno spacecraft’s last shot of Jupiter until it’s in orbit

closing in on jupiter

NASA’s Juno spacecraft is powering down in preparation for its insertion into the gas giant’s orbit. Whatever may come of this attempted insertion, Juno has left the world with one final snapshot of the planet.

Read the rest of this entry »

Space Swoon: NASA’s Juno spacecraft nearly at Jupiter

pia20701

I didn’t know about NASA’s spacecraft, Juno. Or that it was damn close to Jupiter. But now I’m aware of both factoids, and eagerly excited.

Read the rest of this entry »

NASA: We’re going to Europa, hunting for futzin’ alien life

Today was the first day of development for NASA’s mission to get us to Europa. Where we will find life. Giant, multi-tittied omnisexual telepathic beings, who will have no time for us monkeys and our cruelties.

Read the rest of this entry »

Space Swoon! Europa’s Jupiter-Facing Hemisphere is ready for its close-up

Europa? Euro-beautiful one

I say goddamn! This is a glorious mosaic of Europa’s Jupiter-facing dome piece.

Read the rest of this entry »

New photo of (Jupiter’s Moon) Europa sports rivers of red ice

aw yis

I say goddamn!!! Here’s a new glorious look at Europa. Sporting some straight-up rivers of red ice. No doubt carrying the corpses of of humanity’s Progenitor Species, The Appalachian Dingus-Sapiens to their final resting place. Namely the Tombs of Oblivion, deep underneath Europa’s husk.

Read the rest of this entry »

Jupiter’s “GREAT RED SPOT” is shrinking. Nothing gold can stay.

son of a bitch

Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is fucking shrinking! Son of a bitch. That whirling dervish of a storm that’s been rocking since at least 1831 is down to the width of one Earth. How fucking pedestrian.

Read the rest of this entry »

NASA planning ROBOTIC MISSION to Europa to SEARCH FOR LIFE.

Europa.

We’re going to Europa! With a fucking robot in tow! Make no mistake about it, we’re hunting down life. The Europians shall soon know the glory that is McDonald’s, American football, and human excess! Flee while you can, fuckers!

Read the rest of this entry »

Astronomers (maybe) see GEYSER OF WATER ON EUROPA!

Europa.

Europa squirts! Europa erupts! Astronomers have known that Europa has liquid water underneath its surface. Check. Known. However, there has never been direct evidence of said water. Until now.

Read the rest of this entry »

IT RAINS DIAMONDS ON SATURN AND JUPITER. Wut. It’s Chemistry, bitch!

Dark side of Saturn.

Fuck blood diamonds. I’m finna be grabbing myself some fucking cosmic diamonds. Now apparently this is old news or some shit, but I had no goddamn idea. Time to fire up the rocketship kickstarter and explain how I’m going to make you your money back.

Read the rest of this entry »