A Matrix reboot? Lame as fuck, to me. A Matrix prequel starring Michael B. Jordan as Morpheus? Dope as fuck, to me. Who knows if this is more than a rumor, though.
Warner Bros. is looking to get back into The Matrix. With a reboot/maybe not a reboot, potentially starring Michael B. Jordan.
This is the fucking future I want. Or at least I think I want, gazing into my ceiling fan in the evening. Copy of Neuromancer resting on my belly. A vibrating Matrix-themed prostate massager doing its work in my love hole.
The Wachowskis have spent the fifteen years since The Matrix generally sucking ass with some marginal gems (Speed Racer is fucking rad) in-between. With their latest disaster failure pile coming in the form of Jupiter Ascending (though truthfully I’m stoked for it) what are they to do? Go back to the Easy Idea.
Woof! Like five fucking months since we cut the last podcast. Like two weeks since we recorded this new one. Listen, I work with assholes. What do you want with me? That’s neither here nor there. On the podcast: butt play, the console wars, Bateman’s gastric band, Thor, bathroom breaks, Smaug, swearing, caffeine, Star Wars talk (of course) and more.
Let’s fucking do this!
I wasn’t sold on the whole Cloud Atlas thing until I caught a trailer for it before Looper. Then I was all intrigued and shit! What is goig on? Dost I maybe dig the duo still? So yeah. Maybe the Wachowskis have rallied. Or at least gotten a bit ambitious. Now if they could pull off a space opera on TV? Goodness me.
Remember that time in The Matrix where Neo totally learned kung fu in like ten seconds? That shit apparently isn’t so outlandish according to some scientists. The only drawback is the same sort of chicanery could be used for, you know, mind control and the ish.
[face of a franchise presents individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the champion and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
It took seventeen years for Prince’s prophecy to be refuted, but when 1999 hit there was plenty to party about. For one thing, the Internet was finally delivering porno at a rate that could compete with that of our constantly evolving fetishes. And mercifully, Disney’s Doug was slaughtered after besmirching the brand that had flourished for years on Nickelodeon.
But most worthy of celebration was 1999’s slew of cinematic masterpieces.
Oh shit, Keanu Reeves has dropped that there could be a fourth and fifth Matrix movie coming. The sound you here is my slitting my throat with an old copy of Wizard. Paper cuts hurt man, but not as much as the continual destruction of every childhood Idol that I worshiped.
Interested? Come in for the deets.