#November2019

Dudes get arrested after drilling through wall to steal 85 Bitcoin machines. The future is so fucking wild.

arrested steal bitcoin machines malaysia

Welcome to a headline from the Future, folks! Which is apparently happening. No less than five dudes were arrested for drilling through a wall to steal 85 Bitcoin machines. Fucking wild.

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Amazon says its facial recognition systems can now detect fear. What a fantastic development for the police state!

amazon facial recognition fear

Amazon’s facial recognition systems can now detect fear! Hey! Wee! I can’t possibly imagine this shit being used for ill. I mean, right? *Infinitely sarcastic wink*

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Taiwan’s “Pokemon Grandpa” cruises with 15 phones on his bike handlebars. The future fucking rules

taiwan pokemon grandpa

This shit makes me think of that famous William Gibson quote, “the future is already here — it’s just not very evenly distributed.” I mean, this is something straight out of one of his fucking novels. I love it. A 70 year-old fucking Tapiei fengshui master who cruises for Pokemon on a tricked-out bicycle.

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Yelp now letting you sort restaurants by nearby Pokéstops

the future

Yelp senses a fucking phenomenon. Yelp has seized this fucking phenomenon, adding an ability to sort restaurants by Pokéstops.

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Domino’s using *robots* to deliver pizzas in New Zealand

DRU.

Nothing is going to scream post-apocalyptic RobotWasteland in a decade or so like your RobotPizzadeliveryMachine shooting you with its self-made laser cannon to kick off Their insurgency. I mean right?

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Amazon Prime now allows for offline playback; dope is dope

PRAISE BE.

Pretty dope development coming out of Camp Amazon. The company’s Prime service is allowing users now to download television shows and movies on its Amazon Video app. That means them long-ass flights will be more bearable through media-based buoying. No wireless connection? No problem. Shitty wireless connection? Don’t even fuck with it.

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Sony’s Project Morpheus VR headset droppin’ first quarter 2016

Project Morpheus

Sony’s put a pseudo-release date on their entry in the Johnny Mnemonic sweepstakes. The son of a bitch will be dropping in the first quarter of the year next.

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Report: Apple working on self-driving car

tim COKZ

…because of course. Nice to see Apple joining Google in the race to awaken our Corporobotic Overlords.

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LOL: Samsung’s Smart TVs inserting Soda ads into users’ movies

NUTT pepsi but st2ill

Listen. I fuck with Pepsi Cola Corporation hard. I mean, sometimes I say, “oh I got blood in my DIET DEW STREAM”, and then fucking hate myself for my lame jokes. But I swear! I swear to Zeus and Aphrodite if I got a Pepsi ad in the middle of rewatching Guardians for Galaxy for the Nth time I would frisbee that fucking TV off the first drunken, stumbling neighbor I could find.

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Nielsen will start tracking how much people watch Netflix

tv

I don’t know much about this Nielsen fucker. I just know he/she/it/entity/corporation seems pretty fucking backwards when it comes to judging a show’s popularity. So I’m glad Leslie Nielsen or whatever is finally fucking considering our Netflix habits, too. Measure this shit, Leslie. Save my shows. Get smart.

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