The future is here, motherfuckers. It just ain’t evenly distributed or fully appreciated. Case-in-fucking-point? A new brain implant has let a blind woman “see” for the first time in sixteen years. Just flat out fucking amazing. Will we really appreciate how fucking wild this is? Nah!
Chinese Firefighters Have Been Issued Exoskeletons To Kick Fires’ Asses Better. The Future is Fucking Wild.
What the fuck is this? Exoskeletons are already out there in the world? I want a fucking exoskeleton. Not even for doing dope shit like these Chinese firefighters. I could use one for like going up the stairs at this point, with my creaky-ass bones and stoner lung capacity. I mean, I get that they’re doing more important things with them. But still, rocking an exoskeleton on a late day dog walk? Fucking hell yeah.
Disney is finally throwing in the towel when it comes to Mulan dropping here in the states. Looking out at the flaming wreckage of our country amid COVID-19, the company has announced the movie will be dropping on Disney+ this September. It’ll run ya $30, which honestly ain’t that bad. I gotta wonder, if this shit works for them (and I imagine it will), will Black Widow follow suit in November?
Scientists recreated the voice of a 3,000 year-old mummy. We just out here, fucking around, tempting fate.
The future is fucking wild, my friends. I say it a lot. But, it is! I mean, recreating the voice of a goddamn 3,000 year-old mummy!
Hit the jump to check it out, and for more info!
Dudes get arrested after drilling through wall to steal 85 Bitcoin machines. The future is so fucking wild.
Welcome to a headline from the Future, folks! Which is apparently happening. No less than five dudes were arrested for drilling through a wall to steal 85 Bitcoin machines. Fucking wild.
Amazon says its facial recognition systems can now detect fear. What a fantastic development for the police state!
Amazon’s facial recognition systems can now detect fear! Hey! Wee! I can’t possibly imagine this shit being used for ill. I mean, right? *Infinitely sarcastic wink*
This shit makes me think of that famous William Gibson quote, “the future is already here — it’s just not very evenly distributed.” I mean, this is something straight out of one of his fucking novels. I love it. A 70 year-old fucking Tapiei fengshui master who cruises for Pokemon on a tricked-out bicycle.
Yelp senses a fucking phenomenon. Yelp has seized this fucking phenomenon, adding an ability to sort restaurants by Pokéstops.
Nothing is going to scream post-apocalyptic RobotWasteland in a decade or so like your RobotPizzadeliveryMachine shooting you with its self-made laser cannon to kick off Their insurgency. I mean right?
Pretty dope development coming out of Camp Amazon. The company’s Prime service is allowing users now to download television shows and movies on its Amazon Video app. That means them long-ass flights will be more bearable through media-based buoying. No wireless connection? No problem. Shitty wireless connection? Don’t even fuck with it.