You know, I thought RDJ was pretty convincing last year when he made it seem like he was getting out of the Iron Man game after Avengers…3? But at the same time, my cynical thought was “If they kiss his ass and throw truck-fuck-loads of money at him, he’ll return.” It seems that my cynicism will win out.
(Or is it pragmatism?)
Looks like if Justice League: Ain’t Nobody New In Town doesn’t want to compete directly with Marvel, they won’t be able to claim release date ignorance. The House of Ideas has dropped their Cinematic Schedule straight through fuckin’ 2019. Goddamn, 2019. I’ll be bald, fat, wedded, prone to leaky nipples, and probably have a kid. The future is going to be fun. But it’s also going to be fucking terrifying.
Oh god. Prometheus. Oh lord. Not only does it exist and it happened and I paid for it, but now it’s threatening to infect the Marvel Movie Universe. The writer of the movie’s first draft is now tackling Dr. Strange. Here’s hoping the Blight on the Face of The Alien Franchise happened after the good sir contributed his draft. I’m staring hatefully at you, Damon Lindelof.
Need some salve to rub on your Wright-rubbed-raw Marvel fanboy tits? Here it is! A delectable new TV spot for Rocket Raccoon’s Merry Band Of Marauders! I’m stoked for this flick. Like, way stoked. Here. Touch my sweatpants if you’d like. Yeah. That stoked.
Marvel’s Dr. Strange is really happening, eh? Wild. The flick has found itself a director by way of Scott Derrickson, though I don’t know the good lad. Like, at all.
As The Ant-Man Turns. From Wright leaving, to three directors being considered, to apparently Adam McKay being offered the gig. Busy fucking week! Busy fucking day! He ain’t fucking Wright, okayIknowthat, but I think I could really enjoy McKay helming the project.
TL:DR EDITION FOLKS: Edgar Wright has left Ant-Man over a fucking dreadful script rewrite. A rewrite that wasn’t brought on by Kevin Feige, but rather high-up Disney No Knowing Dick Lord Czars. Maybe just as concerning? Joss Whedon supports Wright, so lord knows if the Fanboy King will persist in the MCU after finishing Avengers: Age of Ultron.
If the former body and current voice of the Hulk is to be believed, the Irradiated Fucker is soon going to be privileged enough to have his own flick. More than one person on the interwebs has already questioned just how tuned in Lou Ferrigno is to Marvel Movie News, but let’s indulge the rumor anyways.
Shh. Can you hear that? It’s subsonic vibrations vomiting down the Omnipresent Now, hinting at the reality that fucking Edgar Wright is doing an Ant-Man movie. In case you forgot. ‘Cause it’s easy to let things slip out of our meat-skulls with the relentless pop culture news cycle. But word, Ant-Man is coming folks, and here is how the movie that ain’t arrived yet influenced The Avengers.
You know what they say. You can’t hold a flailing franchise down! I mean, fuck. Despite rumors that they may gut the entire fucking Fantastic Four corpse and start anew five months prior to filming (please keep Michael B. Jordan), Fox has already announced a date for the sequel. And the Wolverine sequel. And a “mystery” Marvel project.