Well, it appears that Phoebe Waller-Bridge has joined the cast of Indiana Jones 5 and John Williams will be doing its score. I gotta confess, I forgot this shit is happening, and I sort of really wish it wasn’t. No Spielberg. Old-as-fuck Ford. Just, I don’t know. Let glorious, sleeping dogs lie.

Read the rest of this entry »

Indiana Jones is back on, folks. Ford. Spielberg. New movie. 2019.

Read the rest of this entry »

Go figure. Disney intends to make a sequel to one of the very spicy properties they acquired in the Lucasfilm acquisition. Go figure? They have no idea when this sequel is going to happen.

Read the rest of this entry »

Twist my tits as I call Pratt-Indy my Daddy! I was sold on Star-Lord Mother Mother taking the reins as Indy (if anyone has to). And now fucking Big Daddy Spielberg wants to direct it?

Read the rest of this entry »

Should anyone play Indiana Jones, outside of Harrison Ford? Of course not. Could I see Chris Pratt being a suitable replacement in a world where Ford must be replaced? Yes.

Read the rest of this entry »

Uhhh. So like, how about this one? Bradley Cooper? Indiana Jones? That’s the word out of Latino Review’s corner of the rotting carcass that is the Pop Culture Interwebs. And friends, they get a lot of things right when it comes to rumors. But fuck yo, I don’t know how I feel about this. Whatever. I’m just going to nod to myself and repeat the phrase “It can’t be worse than Crystal Skull” until I attain Nirvana. Or go back to playing Second Son. One of those two.

Read the rest of this entry »

We should all aspire to be a bit more like Indiana Jones.

What’s that? You say you don’t approve of Indy? You think he’s a poor choice for a role model? Well then, why could that be? Is it the fact that he makes murder hilarious? Or do you have some serious qualms about his freewheeling sexual ways? Oh, let me guess – you’re going to give me some malarkey about child endangerment? These’re all arguments that’ve been presented to me before, and as such I have no hesitation in brushing `em off with a Donkey Kongian nonchalance.

`Cause at the end of the day, Indiana Jones is a Nazi-battlin’ scholar who hunts down ancient artifacts.

It’s by conjuring this spirited admiration for the Jones-lifework that I approach the prospect of reviewing tonight’s featured beer. Although I’m not a philanderin’, bull-whippin’, gorgeous-as-man-can-be archaeologist like Indiana Jones, I certainly share his love of the arcane. Y’know, the stuff that’s too elusive or frightening or challenging for mass consumption. Like the Star Wars Holiday Special. As such, my reverence for the hidden truths of antiquity and inebriation and maybe even existence itself have led me to sip upon the splendor that is Verloren.

Read the rest of this entry »

Harrison Ford is talking Indiana Jones 5?

Via /Film

According to Tout Le Cine, Ford told the assembled press at Deauville that he, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg have agreed on the maguffin for the fifth film. Well, my translation software doesn’t say the ‘fifth maguffin’ but the ‘fifth element’ – I hope he wasn’t just talking about the Luc Besson movie.

What the fuck. Guys. Come on. The Indiana Jones awesome to suck ratio is so friggin’ high. Don’t start diluting that. Did you ever think that there would be as mad awful Star Wars movies as there were stellar ones? Kingdom of the Crystal People With Adamantium Skulls featured Even Stevens swinging on vines with monkeys. Please. I beg you. No