What the fuck? Man. I want ME4 to be good so hard. So hard! So hard, that this news really concerns me. The optimist within this meat-shell hopes this is just a case of Chris Schlerf returning to Bungie because he missed the joint and they made him a sizable offer to save Destiny. Not, you know, him abandoning a ship of dumpster-fire ruin.
Halo 4 was dope. Trust me. I’m not a fanboy of the series. It was fun. Fresh. Funky fresh. Master Chief’s new haircut and wandering sexual proclivities really upped the ante in the series. So I’m excited to see the game’s lead designer throw up the deuces and join Visceral Games. Maybe the Good Sir can unfuck the Dead Space series. Should it even get a sequel, right?
Did you think that Halo 4 was the beginning of a trilogy? You fucking dullard. Trilogies are so 2000s. Now we are into the realm of the amorphous saga. Whatever the fuck that means. How do I interpret it? I take it to make a license to expand ceaselessly into the future, without having to justify story arcs and all that superfluous silliness.
It’s no surprise that most of my favoured games this year are download-only: games free of the constraints of large publishing deals and the costs of physical media. I like those physical artifacts as much as the next self-respecting hoarder, but when it comes to gaming and the creativity that I’ve seen flourish within the digital marketplace, it seems all the more difficult to pine for the past. The future of gaming is increasingly digital, independent and passionate: a fact well-displayed by some of the better releases this year. As Bobby Kotick plots to overthrow Steam, kill Gabe Newell and eat his heart to gain his strength, let us celebrate the games of 2012.
The Multiverse is tired, man. It’s been kicking it around for like, billions or something. Billions of years. Across an infinite amount of realities. During that duration, it has seen some shit. Some yokel Farm Boy wielding Voodoo Mind Powers blowing up a giant mechanical star. A creepy Wizard hanging out with a bunch of little midgets who hug each other a lot while fingering this really creepy vaginal symbol. Dinosaurs. Computer-generated realities that serve as prisons for Meat Sacs while they power Robotic Boners. All of them have come to pass.
Here in our little morsel of the Multiverse, the lot of us lead banal but enjoyable lives. Hugging friends, drinking oak sodas, arguing about meaningless things. We feign importance because in reality we’re monkeys covered in our own seminal fluid and killing one another over Space Gods and illusory physical boundaries. Eh, what can you do. Here on Monday Morning Commute, us Monkey Monsters of the Multiverse share the various things that are getting us through yet another infinitesimal moment in the Infinite.
It’s a little batch of nothing, but Christ if it ain’t all we got.
I spend far too much time telling you guys about my eating/masturbation habits in these intros and for that I want to sincerely apologise. No-one should have to endure that. From now on, I’m going to make a concerted effort to talk about video games more often, like I’m supposed to. This week I have been playing Assassin’s Creed 3. It’s so pompous, boring and devoid of purpose that I comfort ate a whole tray of brownies and jerked it into the mirror whilst I cried. True story.
All week I’ve been vividly imagining the symbiotic relationship between Mountain Dew and Doritos whilst trying to figure out just how video games fit into it. Cross-promotion is a bizarre concept to me; I keep trying to see the links, the patterns and then I get scared and frustrated when it doesn’t all piece together. I’ve been having fevered nightmares about neon, corn-peppered shit slurry: really vivid, nasty stuff. I need to write this to exorcise them demons.
Maybe it’s because I’ve taken a few years off from the franchise, coupled with a new dev team, but I’m fucking excited for Halo 4. Am I the only one? Who doesn’t want to dress their significant other up as Cortana and rub maple syrup over their boobs or balls? I mean, really? How does that tie into the trailer? Shut up.
Fuck yeah. I don’t give Halo much thought, but I’ve been interested in seeing what 343 Industries can bring to the franchise. If anything, their rocking out on Halo 4 has brought this gorgeous live action trailer into the fold. Produced by David “I love male bonding flicks” Fincher, it’s a look into a piece of Master Chief lore.
MS opened up their media briefing and all of E3 with this vid, the first look at the Halo 4 campaign. Feels like more than just a little nod to Metroid Prime, aesthetically.
Hit the jump for the vid, and links to more vids, including B-Roll campaign footage and some multiplayer from the new Spartan Ops mode.