#February2015
Hackers stole hundreds of millions from banks in leet malware heist
On and on and on and off we just unos and o’s! I just wanted to quote El-P, I’m not really sure if that opener fits. Just sort of like, you know. Hackers have stolen “hundreds of millions of dollars” in a totally gnarly malware heist. But it wasn’t noticed at first, because numbers in a computer mainframes are now what constitutes worth in this post-tangible dystopia. And I love it.
No Comments
HAX the PLANET: Someone stole $5 million from a Bitcoin exchange
I want to totally shed the cumbersome boundaries of my currency’s corporeal form for Bitcoins. But then I read about some shit like this. Hax the planet, braj! Or at least hack all the fucking Bitcoin exchanges!
1337: Hackers recreate German politician’s fingerprint from photos.
And you all wonder why I’m always wearing my stretchy winter mittens. In the summer. In the winter. Sure they’re covered in crusty, withering flakes of my DNA. Sure my hands smell like eggs and mistakes. But at least them hackers won’t have my fucking fingerprints.
MIND-CONTROLLED PROSTHETIC ARM approved by FDA. Future++
The future is now-now-now! Concerned about getting your fucking arm lopped off by your Dad in a lightsaber battle? Good fucking news! The inventor of the Segway has just gotten approval from the FDA for his mind-controlled prosthetic arm.
‘WATCH DOGS’ Trailer: Hacking The Planet Like A 1337 Dude
New Watch Dogs trailer! has arrived, highlighting the various ways you’ll totally fucking hack the planet.
5 YEAR-OLD totally exposes gnarly XBOX LIVE SECURITY FLAW
Oh fuck! Oh shit! We got ourselves another Zero Cool on our hands. A five year-old recently found a way to circumvent XBOX Live’s security, rigging a way around the need for a password. Well done, little man. No come over here, ’cause I got some porn sites I need you to crack.
CHINESE HACKERS have stolen US WEAPON DESIGNS. LAUNCH THE POLARIS!
Don’t blame me, I just wanted to reference Rust In Peace. Chinese Hackers have totally traversed the Metaverse, snagged the Golden Bauble from our DOJ hives, and returned him as victorious warriors. Of course, that’s what I imagine it all going down. I’m probably completely incorrect.
Blogger proves holes in Ecuador’s security system by hacking president’s identity. Well then.
There has to be ways to prove that there are holes in a national security system other than hacking the president’s identity. While Paul Moreno’s swagger has to be appreciated, I have to imagine that there were more eloquent ways to point out the exploits. It’s cool, it’s cool. I just imagine this sort of activity could sometimes lead to a deep hole in a dark place.
GoDaddy.com and their HOSTED SITES are down. Anonymous is all like, “we did it.”
ANONYMOUS! You dinky faces. Typically I’m down with your hijinks. However today you took down GoDaddy.com, and now a particular Furry Latex Water Sports forum where I commune with fellow misaligned souls is down. I take this as a lesson in cavorting about with meanies. I take it well.
GPS vulnerabilities could allow hackers to take over smartphones. HACK THE PLANET.
I’m often weary of leet hackers taking over my smartphone, intercepting my signals. That’s why I only speak in slurred hate regarding sports teams, and pictures I found off of Tumblr with my friends. Turns out I was right.
