The first issue of Miracleman by Gaiman & Buckingham (is that seriously the fucking name) will drop in September. The release will be the realization of that miraculous (HAHAHA) announcement back in September 2013 that the famed franchise would see its Gaiman-run completed.
Yesterday I made the proclamation that the less the F&F franchise gives a shit, the better the movies are. Apparently Furious 7 is going to be the best.
Microsoft wants YOU, fuckboy!, for their Top Secret Xbox projects. Provided of course that you have the leet skillz required to execute their astounding vision. What could it be? Kinect with responsive teledildonics? A VR headset like everyone else? I can only imagine.
Fuck you, Chris Pratt. And fuck your talent, humor, and now that you’ve put down the Klondike Bars, your irrepressible beauty. This picture from the set of Jurassic World with you rockin’ it on a motorcycle is a whole new level of unfair. Hit the jump to join me in my revelry.
I was pretty butt hurt when I first heard The Order: 1869-24-Numbers was getting delayed. Rubbing my dumper and muttering “Fucking DelayStation, yeha~~!” like the cool haters. But after watching this trailer last night, I’m all like. Oh. Shit. Take your time. This is looking wonderful. Rub it. Stroke it. To a glimmer. Nay, to a blinding sheen.
Did you need anymore proof that Darth Vader has been beaten into the ground? Stripped of his fear-inducing presence by constant whoring out to various promotions? Well, if you did — here it is. Star Wars has gotten itself an Instagram account, and the first official picture is that of Vader taking a selfie.
Hit the jump to bask in the suck.
FFVI may be dropping on mobile platforms, but it isn’t going to be my fucking FFVI. Naw. Not at all. They’re casualizing (fuck you — it’s my own word) the entire fucking enterprise. Reducing grinding. Fucking assholes eliminating remnants of the good old days when you had to fucking earn your Ribbons. Kiss my ass, everyone involved.
Respawn Entertainment’s Xbox One exclusive has gotten itself a gameplay trailer, and my goodness. I’m not one to lean on hyperbole for descriptiveness (heh), but watching this trailer literally compelled my dong-tip to burst forth off the shaft. It fluttered about the room, running up the corners of the walls in a hysteria. After finally exhausting itself of its unexplained kinetic energy, it fell listlessly into the aquarium. Where the angelfish ate it.
Hello friends! Some news up in this rotting spaceship heezy. Omega Level will be holding it down at Toronto Fan Expo (booth 501) this week, from August 22-25. Bateman, Frankenstein, and Budrickton will be there slinging shitty t-shirts. Posing with you for life-altering pictures. Pushing copies of Allen Drinkwater’s OMNI. Word on the street is that he will be there too, hiding underneath Bateman’s rascal scooter that the crew has to tie to their car roof.
Oh! And speaking of shitty, though somewhat amusing t-shirts, we have several new ones that we debuted at Boston Comic Con that are now up in the store.
Hit the jump to check them out.
Here is a little nerdery to cap off your weekend. An official image for X-Men: Days of Future Past has dropped, and it’s totally dripping with the era of its time. Back to the Future! Past! Or something. Hit the jump to check it out.