Star Trek Beyond has gained itself a certifiable bad ass. Joe Taslim, who has mollywhopped motherfuckers in Fast 6 and The Raid, is going boldly into space. But hopefully bringing the head kicks and shit.
Fast & Furious 6 has suffered the glory of having the biggest Memorial Day weekend opening ever. Ever! Just think about that. Me? I’m fucking fine with it. In fact, I hope people read the news and begin uncontrollably vomiting all over themselves. I caught the film last night. Great fun. There was a time when the franchise took itself seriously, but with this latest installment it is clear they have lost their mind. Shitting on physics, bro-dude posturing everywhere. Gorgeous action sequences. Frankly, it’s everything I want in a popcorn flick. However, I may have lost my mind.
Welcome to Monday Morning Commute. This is the column where we all slow down enough to talk about what we’re enjoying on a given week. Me? How am I doing? Why, how kind of you to ask! As you may or may not know, I work on a college campus. And this week I’m lucky enough to enjoy the week off between Spring and Summer semesters. I’m going to spend the next seven days trying to figure out what that fuck I’m going to be teaching in a month, watching The Most Ill of all Bro Movies, and throwing a party at my new apartment. It’ll be a good week.
You may or may not know this, but I love the Totally Fast series. Laugh if you want, as I confess that while I find some installments to be clunkers (that fourth movie? woof), while maintaining that the others are fantastic. (Fastastic?) Sure, they’re total homoerotic bro fests, but they never fail to entertain. Me. Entertain me. I should clarify that.
So uh, here is the trailer for the sixth movie.
Oil your fucking shit! Get your best homoerotic pose on! Prepare for the blood bath of misplaced semen and phallic objects that is the newest installment in the Fast & Furious franchise. We got ourselves a fast-paced (ha!) batch of new images for you to chomp upon. Heck yeah!