This is why I’m an unprincipled asshole. Well, among other things. You see, despite being totally meh (at best) about the Green Lantern trailer, I’m still excited for it. How does that work? I have no idea. Today, Bleeding Cool posted a few images from the movie, and I have to say, I dig on Parallax, if the artwork in question really is from the movie. Looks pretty god damn cool.

Hit the jump for the potential picture of Parallax, as well as Peter Sarsgaard with a considerably swollen dome-piece.

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The Green Lantern Trailer is finally upon us, after last week’s cockteasing from Entertainment Tonight. I’ll divide the trailer into two distinct halves.

The first is Ryan Reynolds playing Ryan Reynolds. Not only is Hal Jordan apparently written like another Reynolds douchebag cast-off, which he isn’t in the comic books, but Reynolds himself is just doing his same old thing. He isn’t inhabiting a character, he’s draping his schtick over a mythos. Let me be clear, the parts where he’s acting fucking suck, and my dick shrinks a little bit.

Also, Blake Lively, I’m glad to see you dispell any sort of notion that you could act that you may have given us in The Town.

The second is that the epic bullshit that goes down in the trailer really snagged my geek balls. Like, I dug on it a lot. The whole flying through space thing? Sweet. Seeing Oa? Sweet.

Unfortunately, Reynolds Being Reynolds As Jordan has smashed apart any sort of expectations I may have had for the movie. I’m hoping I’m wrong, and that as he matures through the movie he’ll become something resembling anything other than Hey Guys I’m Ryan Reynolds.

Hit the jump to check out the trailer. Then hit the comments box with your thoughts. I’m very interested to gauge the response from you guys.

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[Source: Steven Anderson via Game Freaks]

[Chris Samnee via Comic Twart]

Chris Samnee, artist on the joyride Thor: The Mighty Avenger, is one of my current favorites. So it makes sense that his minimalist take of his on the JLA gives me a fanboy boner alert. Head over to Comic Twart for more minimalist renditions of your favorite collection of capes and cowls by some rather talented folk.

Alright, so I’ve sinned. I began coming across a lot of the inter-chatter on Twitter and comic book websites regarding a megaton bomb that drops today in B&R #16. So, despite having not read it – Pepsibones is snagging the OL log today – I cheated and looked it up. My impressions? Eh! Not really blown away, but that doesn’t mean I object. Hit the jump for the spoiler!, and my take.

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Variant Covers. Your one-stop shop for the comic books I’m excited about dropping this Wednesday. Your chance to comment, and recommend titles you’re reading not only this week, but in general. A brothel of pathetic attempts at intellectual dialogues, and more glaringly, juvenile jokes. Welcome, I’m excited you’re here.

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Scarlet #3
In recent weeks, I’ve tried to ease up on my bashing of writers. Well, ignoring the fact that I took Mark Millar behind the woodshed. Particularly writers that I like, and respect. So whereas I used to bemoan Brian Michael Bendis’ decline, I’ve tried to rationalize it under the idea that he carries an enormous work load for Marvel. Far too many pages for me to fathom churning out every month. I know he’s a talented writer. I know it.

Scarlet is case-in-point.

My brother and I are big fans of Scarlet, Bendis and Maleev’s creator-owned title being published through Marvel’s Icon label. As I’ve detailed before, the time that has been put into this book bleeds through in oodles of quality. Oodles, guys and gals, oodles. The title’s distinguishing feature is the smashing and tearing of the fourth-wall, with Scarlet talking directly to the audience throughout the book. Juxtapose that son of a bitch with Maleev’s creative use of paneling, and you have something that snags you by the nipples right away.

Scarlet’s recruiting a revolution, and she wants you to join in. Trust me, when a sexy femme fatale is talking to you, the loins surge.

It’s a solid title, with tropes that aren’t particularly new, but as I said, they’re executed well. Bendis’ wit shines through, and Maleev is fucking gorgeous as ever. The dude could pencil two pigeons fucking and I’d be on-board. The sort of artwork that could carry a title, but with the writing, simply compliments it.

Grab this son of a bitch.

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Baltimore: The Plague Ships #4
It seems like every time I turn around, a new issue of The Plague Ships is flying its way onto shelves. Get it, cause it stars vampires? Flying? I’m a fucking dunce? I concur. And that’s absolutely fine with me. While it isn’t righteous enough to command my full attention with every issue, the title entertains me in a mindless sort of way that I sometimes need. You should seem me when I’m reading an issue of S.H.I.E.L.D by Hickman. I got a pad of paper, and a pen. I’m scribbling notes and asking rhetorical questions like the grad school lit major loser that I am.

The Plague Ships is a way to decompress. I want to emphasize that this is no fucking knock on Mignola. The title is tight, entertaining, and extremely sexy in the artwork department. It operates on a level that I can definitely feel. Sometimes it’s perfectly fine to be nothing more than fun. For the burgeoning intellectual who is going to give some brilliant reading of Plague Ships in the comments box, let me stop you: you’re probably right, but I’m turning my fucking brain off for this title, and riding the wind. Get it? Like a vampire? Yeah, fuck me.

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Superboy #1
Lest you think I’m packed to the gills with dookie when I say I’ll read anything you recommend to me, consider this: prior to about six months ago, I had never heard of Jeff Lemire. A reader with good taste recommended that I snag up Sweet Tooth and I did so. Since then, my ass crush for the dude has been immeasurable. Love him. I’ll admit I’ve only ingested seven issues or so of his work, as I can only grab Sweet Tooth in TPB around these parts, but I dig him.

So with that said, his name alone is enough to push the relaunch of Superboy onto me. What’s it going to be about? Damned if I know. The synopsis promises wonder and the beginning of the next great epic in the DC universe, but I mean, c’mon. That’s cream puff bullshit. All I know is that it’s a very talented writer getting a crack at an up-and-down icon within the stretched parameters of Metropolis.

Sometimes the author is enough for me to check something out. Actually an author I like is always enough for me to give something a try.

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This is a moment of zen for myself. A moment of clarity that I really need to clench down on.   I need to recall that no matter how mediocre and blah Superman Returns was, Singer’s meh-core movie never, ever came near the stunning shitstorm that Tim Burton’s rendition of Clark Kent would have been. Like, seriously. Just consider these pictures of the emo kid abortion suit that he would have suited Superman up in.

Fuck Tim Burton. I hope we’re all approaching a moment when he can agree, unequivocally that he sucks. Maybe we’ll never agree on whether he’s always sucked. Some people think so, but I actually enjoyed a lot of his flicks. But after his last few movies, it’s obvious: the dude isn’t even trying anymore. Throw Johnny Depp acting like a complete zany douche, mix with a generic Elfman soundtrack, and a dash of his annoying partner Helena Bonham Carter, and you’ve got a zillion dollar movie and a Hot Topic line of clothing for all the misunderstood kids to enjoy.

Fuck Tim Burton. Hit the jump to see his Superman costume that can also go fuck itself.

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We all know the print medium is dying. We all know that comic book sales have been sagging lately. Grandma titties sagging. What can the two brutes on the block do to attempt to stimulate the market? Well, they’ve wised the fuck up and rolled back prices on their comics from $3.99 to $2.99 on a lot of their shit.

Good.

With digital sales of Ultimate Thor #1 almost fucking matching the print copies, they need to do something to put more of us, the great unwashed, back into comic book stores. Slashing prices is a start, though I think ultimately it won’t be enough. The leaf is dying, the bits and bytes reigning supreme more and more. But hey, it makes me happy.

What a fantastic week in the world of funny books. There’s a good amount of shit dropping that I’m digging and/or have been anticipating for a while now. Some weeks it’s bare bones, other weeks it’s a raping and pillaging of my wallet. There doesn’t seem to be a middle ground, which is cool, because what is the internet for! If not for bitching and moaning?

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S.H.I.E.L.D #4
Whenever S.H.I.E.L.D drops, it’s my favorite book of the week. Easily, and without contention. Hickman and Weaver are combining their powers like fucking Captain Planet to give me a mind-raping that I welcome with open uh, mind-anus? Whatever. Seriously though, it’s a combination of epic Marvel action during the days of DaVinci, humanist philosophy, and really, really, really gorgeous artwork. It’s raged from being unknown and underneath the radar to one of the dopest and most acclaimed titles of the year, and if you haven’t hitched yourself to its Icarus wings yet, it’s about time that you got on board.

Last episode was Sir Isaac Newton copulating with an alien, and enslaving Nostradamus to help him guide the trajectory of human history. This episode? Apparently there’s a fetus of god being born, as well as a throwdown with a Celestial. This son of a bitch is hitting on so many cylinders, it’s scary. Well worth your $3.

Also In The Marvel Universe:
Sometimes I kick it around the horn in a Universe when there’s a particularly large deluge rocketing down the pipe, and this week seems fitting. There’s a huge heaping of Thor dropping this week. The aforementioned scribe superior, Hickman is debuting his Ultimate Thor this week, and like a moaning fanboy of his, I’ll be checking it out. Not content, more Thor for you? Even though he’s becoming the Asgardian equivalent of Deadpool when it comes to over-exposure? Hit up Thor: For Asgard. The artwork by Bianchi sells it by itself. Uncanny X-Force #1 debuts this week, and yeah? I don’t know man. At one point in my life, the word “Uncanny” meant a shitload to me. Know it just bums me out, and makes me which I was still running the Australian outback with Claremont and Silvestri.

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Was it just last month that we got the Wonder Woman redesign? It feels like forever ago. But good lord does it now seem clunky in comparison to these pencils by Jo Chen. I came across these pencils today on Comics Alliance, who provides the details into them.

Comics Alliance:

Jo Chen’s high-powered rendering abilities have been proven in comics via “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” UDON Capcom work and “Runaways” cover art, but some of the greatest gems in her portfolio came via these Wonder Woman pencils she made for DC’s licensing department, destined for an unnamed mystery creation.

“These pencil pieces of our favorite Amazon were for an undisclosed project for the D.C. licensing department,” she wrote on her MySpace blog in 2009. “Not sure if the project will ever come to fruition but Sonia Choi at D.C. was kind enough to allow me to display them for your pleasure/displeasure/indifference. Hope it’s the first one.”

They’re beyond gorgeous. Hit the jump for the pencils, and check out Chen’s MySpace Gallery right here.

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