#May2019

‘Watchmen’ Trailer: HBO drops its first look at the series, and I’m counting the seconds until its debut.

I am all f-u-c-k-i-n-g in for the Watchmen series coming to HBO. I was prior to this trailer, and fucking boy howdy, am I now.

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Damon Lindelof announces start of ‘Watchmen’ production with mysterious teaser image

hbo watchmen production teaser

I’m here for anything regarding Damon Lindelof’s and HBO’s Watchmen remix. So, watch me shamelessly eat up a silly teaser image from Lindelof. Watch me!

Check it out after the jump.

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Lindelof teases start of ‘Watchmen’ HBO series production. I’m both scared and aroused.

lindelof watchmen preproduction begins

If Lindelof’s Watchmen series was directly following LOST, I would be worried as fuck. However, most of the people I’ve talked to said his work on The Leftovers fucking rocked. So, this guy? He’s going to be cautiously optimistic.

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HBO developing ‘Watchmen’ series with Damon Lindelof. Don’t get my hopes up, plz

watchmen hbo series damon lindelof

HBO is developing a Watchmen series alongside Damon Lindelof. Woah, nice. A Watchmen adaptation has always made most sense (to me) as an HBO series, or on another premium channel. As well, I’ve always had a problem with Lindelof, but apparently the dude more than acquitted himself with The Leftovers. So. Color me excited. Worst case Ontario, it still can’t be as bad as the Snyder movie.

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‘Tomorrowland’ Trailer: Bathtub Rocketship

‘Tomorrowland’ Super Bowl Trailer Teaser: Brad Breeds Believers?

Here we go! We’ve been getting legitimate Super Bowl trailers the past couple of days. No teasers of trailer teasers?! But thankfully Tomorrowland has stepped up.

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‘Tomorrowland’ Teaser Trailer: You Wanna Go?

Tomorrowland

Here’s the first teaser trailer for Tomorrowland. And goddamn it — I don’t want to like it. I want to pry apart my cynical butt cheeks and spew textual scat-bile over Damon Lindelof’s smug face. I want to. But fuck if this first trailer didn’t intrigue me. Ah fuck. I guess I’ll just wait for the actual movie to let me down. And even if I do like it, I’ll just accredit that to the talented Brad Bird behind the camera. YOU CAN’T WIN WITH ME LINDELOF, YOU CAN’T.

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DAMON LINDELOF is TIRED of MOVIE DISASTER PORN. POT, MEET KETTLE.

Damon Lindelof sucks.

Damon Lindelof has spoken out against movie disaster porn, which is hilarious. Such a act of dumb assery underscores the fact that Lindelof is not just a fledgling, self-congratulatory, horrific plotter. Instead he is also the recipient of at best, an embryonic sense of self. Dude tries to cop to being guilty of movie disaster porn whilst denouncing it, but let’s be honest. The hack has spent the last two summers getting rich as fuck off of the cheap trick, penning two movies (Prometheus and Star Trek Into Ennui) that feature iconography that harkens back to 9/11.

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DAMON LINDELOF’S NEXT DUMB F**KING SHOW to star JUSTIN THEROUX

Justin Theroux.

Justin Theroux is going to be the star of the next show by Damon Lindelof, and it’s going to be on HBO. Oh goody me, Damon Lindelof is working on another television show. In case you didn’t know: Lindelof “works on television shows” by standing in front of a mirror, quietly saying “you’re so clever.” He slowly builds up to a tribal chant, at which he eventually orgasms. Hands free. It’s almost impressive.

(So much vitriol, I know.)

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First official ‘STAR TREK DESCENT INTO DARKNESS’ hints at villain.

Aiiight. I’m tired of attempting to guess the villain in Star Trek Descent Into Darkness. I spent a good amount of time in my alchemy lab, attempting to brew concoctions consisting of Diet Mountain Dew, powdered energy drink, and arm pit sweat that would allow me to slough the flesh and infiltrate the Abrams compound. These mad ales nearly worked, but every time I got close I would run into a wall around the palace generated by Abrams and Lindelof’s Smugness. A thick, impenetrable wall of self-satisfaction and emo kid glasses. Thus, I relented. You and me must sate our curiosity on morsels like this, the first official plot synopsis for the flick.

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