CD Projekt Red Only Refunded 30K Copies of ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Out of 13M Sold. I’m Honestly Impressed.

I have to fucking admit, I’m stunned that CD Projekt Red only refunded 30,000 copies of Cyberpunk 2077. Out of fucking 13,000,000! Now, there’s obviously an important fucking caveat. This tally does not include the amount of copies Sony refunded. However, it’s a pretty fucking shockingly small number given how many people absolutely deplored the game. In fact, those motherfuckers who shipped the broken-ass game had a pretty good year. They took in a cool $560 million in revenue. Not bad for the company behind the worst launch in gaming history, right?

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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ studio has been victim of cyberattack but ain’t giving in to ransom demands.

d projekt red cyberattack source code

Man, CD Projekt Red can’t catch a fucking break. Granted, most of their suffering has been of their doing. But now they’ve been goddamn hacked, and the hackers are demanding a ransom. If they ain’t paid, they’ve threatened to drop the source code for The Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk 2077. I say, goddamn.

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Watch: ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ trailer remade using ‘Super Mario’ movie footage. As terrifying as the game’s launch!

cyberpunk 2077 super mario movie trailer

Listen, whether or not we want to admit it, the Super Mario movie is cyberpunk as fuck. So, it makes horrifying sense to use its footage to remake a Cyberpunk 2077 trailer.

Check it out after the jump, because, you know, Twitter embed.

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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ developers have released apology and detailed roadmap. DLC is delayed, next-gen upgrade coming second half of 2021

cyberpunk 2077 apology dlc roadmap

CD Projekt Red has broken its silence surrounding Cyberpunk 2077 to apologize like motherfuckers. As well, they’ve also dropped an updated roadmap for the title’s un-fucking. Of note, the game’s free DLC has been delayed, and its next-gen upgrade won’t drop for a while. A damn while. Assuredly, the significant delay bums me out. However, if it means I get to play the best possible version, I’m for the (new) interminable wait.

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Monday Morning Commute: Maybe It Just Needs A Little Love

Whelp, the end of the semester has arrived. Just in time to compliment last week’s news that my wife doesn’t have cancer! A really lovely double axe handle to 2020’s absolutely brutal ennui. For the first time in a while I’m sleeping again, smiling again, enjoying the general day-to-day existence. Of course, I’m still concerned that dickheads out there are partying as the Pandemic reaches its peak! Of course, I’m still concerned that a significant strand of the Republican Party has turned into a reality-denying sledgehammer that is attempting to split the head of democracy fully open.

But, but, hey. We aren’t going to be able to turn the entire ship around. Not this quickly, perhaps not at all. However, the changes in my personal life are enough to gloss the synapses a bit, and allow me to enjoy my time with my wife! With you fucks! And make the best out of a mutilated holiday season, sans physical contact with friends and family.

Thus my friends, let’s dance the dance of digital reverie! Hark! What are you up to this week? Hark! What are you enjoying this week? This is Monday Morning Commute.

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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ has over 175 hours of gameplay and good goddamn I can’t wait

cyberpunk 2077 175 hours of gameplay

I was fearful that Cyberpunk 2077 wasn’t going to be long. And boy, does it appear those fears were unfounded. The motherfucker is clocking in at over 175 hours. Which is goddamn glorious, especially since it drops the last day of the semester for me.

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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Final Gameplay Trailer: Here’s a glimpse at your life in Night City!

Fuck me, is Cyberpunk 2077 really two weeks away? Many people say this game has to absolutely fucking bring it to be worth the wait. Me? I disagree. I’m so fucking horny for this title, that a mere enjoyable romp through a cyberpunk wonderland will get me off.

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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ has been delayed again, this time until December 10. This fucking game, dudes.

Man, Cyberpunk 2077 is delayed again. This shit is almost comical at this point. The title has been pushed back another 21 days, this time until December 10. For fuck’s sake. How many times has this shit been delayed?! Does it even exist? Is it a fever dream of mine?

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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ has gone gold and I need this game so fucking bad!

Hell fucking yes, my dudes. Cyberpunk 2077 has officially gone gold. Tremendous news for this guy. As the days grow shorter and colder, and with COVID still absolutely butt-blasting us, I’ve turned to Cyberpunk and my PS5 to get me through the Winter. Now, I just need my launch PS5 to come through, and all will seem (somewhat) endurable.

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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ anime coming from ‘Kill la Kill’ and ‘Gurren Lagann’ studio. This is so fucking choice!

Holy gloriously swollen-taint, friends! My favorite anime studio is bringing a Cyberpunk 2077 anime to Netflix. Like, I say goddamn!

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