I love the Battlefield and Call of Duty PR war that’s going on right now. This isn’t some cutesie television campaign that’s poking fun at one or the other. No way! This is  EA spokesperson Jeff Brown going full fucking tilt. Spitting some hot fire. Comparing Call of Duty to Tony Hawk. Snap son. Snap.

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There’s nothing that’s going to get me to subscribe to Call of Duty: Elite. Right? Well maybe if signing up gets you the Call of Duty DLC deluge for a reduced price. Or. Or. Or if Ridley Scott released something so asshole-quiveringly dope through the service that my fanboy soul needs it. This is somehow, oddly, a distinct possibility now that Scott has signed-up to provide the service with new content.

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The premium Call of Duty service is official, after rumor and cloaks and daggers. Its confirmation signals much consternation from a lot of fans, myself included. Whatever the grousing this much is true: Call of Duty Elite is the future. The culmination of a slow gaming galactic boil that has finally gone supernova, and its coming to gobble us up. Gobble! Gobble gobble!

With new details coming out, again, it is clear. Call of Duty Elite is the future. For better or worse.

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There’s another sexy Black Ops infographic on the prowl, this one courtesy of Activision. There’s some fucking ridiculous stats to be had.  Since launch, there’s been over one trillion shots fired, and there are one-hundred and sixty-one World War IIs fought everyday. Fancy some more stats? Hit the jump for the full graphic.

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Not that I ever doubted the Call of Duty juggernaut, but I’m still fucking impressed. Today, Activision announced that Black Ops has surpassed one-billion dollars in worldwide sales. Jesus Lord. That’s a lot of motherfuckers playing, which is why it makes sense that   to this date “more than 600 million hours have been logged.”

Shit is selling at an impressive clip, outpacing last year’s Modern Warfare 2. This is undoubtedly awesome news to Treyarch fanboy and fangirl assholes, who will assuredly be parlaying this information into forthcoming message board arguments.

Activision Devil Guru Bobby Kotick was absolutely stroking his cock in virgin blood when he commented:

“In all of entertainment, only Call of Duty and “Avatar” have ever achieved the billion dollar revenue milestone this quickly. This is a tribute to the global appeal of the  Call of Duty franchise, the exceptional talent at Treyarch and the hundreds of extraordinary people across our many Call of Duty studios including Infinity Ward and Sledgehammer that work tirelessly on the franchise.  Our ability to provide the most compelling, immersive  entertainment experience, and enhance it with regular, recurring content that delivers hundreds of hours of audience value, has allowed Call of Duty to continue to set sales and usage records.”

Can’t stop. Won’t stop. Call of Duty don’t quit!

Enlarge.

Collector’s Editions are at war with one another. Last year the Modern Warfare family brought everyone night vision goggles, which felled the previous Douchebag Winner, the Spartan Helmet Douchecon Edition from Halo 3. Well! Well, then. Well, well, well. Call of Duty: Black Ops is making a serious, serious push to take the Douchebag Extreme Mantle, by offering a functionable RC car with their Black Ops Collector’s Edition.

Destructoid:

With a range of up to 200 feet, the RC-XD surveillance vehicle is a fully-functioning RC car that features — wait for it — a remote camera that transmits TFT color video and audio. It’s inspired by the surveillance car that will appear in the game’s multiplayer, as seen in the recent teaser trailer.

The “Prestige Edition” will also ship with everything you’ll get in the “Hardened Edition,” including a Black Ops limited edition medal, a Black Ops Avatar outfit (for Xbox 360), and four additional cooperative maps.

If you buy this, you’re a douchebag. But let’s be clear, if it were the right franchise (Mass Effect, Fallout), I’d be a douchebag too.

I’ve only played the Infinity Ward Call of Duty titles. I am by no means an aficionado or expert when it comes to the series. But when I heard that Black Ops was going to take place in the Cold War, I immediately was aroused to a point of comfortable non-comfort.

And now? Today Treyarch dropped the first multiplayer footage from the game, and I am fapping and screaming. I don’t know if it has been a fixture of previous games in the series, but the video shows dudes getting mowed down with a fucking crossbow.

Good god damn, I’m sold.

Hit the jump to check out the video for yourself.

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I’ve never been insane for the Call of Duty franchise. I enjoyed the two Modern Warfares, but that’s about it. So even though I knew that another game was coming this year, I didn’t care. It wasn’t Modern Warfare, and it wasn’t Infinity Ward. Well, fuck me, I seem to be stoked anyways.

It’s the fucking Cold War! Black Ops! Espionage! Oh shiz! Totally super-ballin’. Alright, I’m excited. Check out the video and fap with me.

You have to love a sensationalistic headline, don’t you?

Infinity Ward posted some CTF goodness over on their official Youtube. Holy shit is this gameplay footage gorgeous.

I’m just kidding about it the headline, though.   Sort of. My brother worked at a summer camp and told me that some kids played CoD and you know, had years to go before their first nocturnal emission. My therapist’s kid plays it, I think he’s thirteen. EVERYONE plays it. It’s universally loved. Like pizza.

[ story via kotaku ]