#September2015
Monday Morning Commute: This Is All A Rental
This is all a rental.
From the computer you’re typing on to the meat-sack you’re inhabiting. All will be recycled, reused, converted into a variety of different forms. In my case, very much upcycled. Rejoice for as long as the collection of atoms, elements, and moments that is You can successfully stave off Entropy.
This is all a rental.
You’re slowing down. Dissolving. Inching closer to the Bin where your reconstitution shall take place.
But while we’re here, while This Matter still makes You, let’s have some fun. This is Monday Morning Commute. The column where You share what you’re intending to do during the week. So long as your dissolving, perpetually-ending, decaying meat-sack allows you.
This is all a rental.
‘Destiny’ Launch Trailer: Nips-Tightening Rockitude
This trailer gave me hard nipples. I’m not even kidding. Destiny. From object of my scorn, to object of my juicy-panties lust. Here’s the fucking launch trailer.
‘Destiny’ Venus Gameplay Trailer: Epic Battle On The Second Planet
Bungie! Just fucking stop. Stop dropping these teasers for Destiny. Less than a month away, but I don’t want to wait any longer. Take my fucking money, now. Or if you don’t want to, then please lord stop entering these trailers into my gooey guts. I can’t take it.
‘Destiny’ Gameplay Trailer: To the Red Planet we go!
I didn’t want to like Destiny. Actively sort of wanted to dislike it, because it isn’t Borderlands and I have well-documented emotional problems. But man. Ever since the fucking beta, I have been sweating it hard. So lay off my dick, Bungie. Stop dropping these trailers. Making things swell. And other bits throb.
Former ‘HALO’ composer Marty O’Donnell suing Bungie for unpaid benefits
Marty O’Donnell has cut himself a nook in the gaming psyche through his iconic Halo scores. However, that didn’t save his ass from getting fired by the Company That Master Chief built. Not only that, but if you believe his claims, the talented composer was also shed from the company’s corpus with a litany of unpaid benefits.
‘DESTINY’ cost Activision $500 MILLI. HALF A F**KIN BILLION
Yeah, so. Like. Activision is-spending-will-spend-has-spent fucking $500 million on Destiny? Good luck with that, guys. Like, I’m buying the game. I know a lot of people who are buying the game. But recouping that sort of cheddar? Uhhh. Here’s looking at the long game, it seems.
Activision: ‘DESTINY’ is like totally going to be “BEST SELLING” original game ever
Activision! Bold words. Or are they? I’m no economist. No projector of market forces. However, it doesn’t seem too daring to predict that Destiny may end up as the best selling original game ever. That’s the crux of the argument. New game! Like, Halo 5 may outsell it, but it’s a sequel to an established franchise.
Bungie’s ‘DESTINY’ gets an OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE next September.
Bungie’s Destiny finally has a hard release date. Seriously. Go ahead. Bite it. Your little bone-protrusions will give before the date does. Ouch, right? The bad news? The game ain’t dropping for a good, long, while.
Press Start: Nut Sacks & Narcissism
Something has happened to me lately, something that is causing me to feel old; dusty; a withered nut suck harping on about how the purity of gaming is becoming lost. I hate myself for it, but struggle as I might, it seems that I can’t make sense of something. I can’t explain what is going on with Bungie’s newest game –Destiny.
